Fixated on one guy

  • Eli_jah

    Posts: 1391

    Nov 28, 2013 7:35 PM GMT
    So I've been in love with this guy for about 2 years now. But I don't think he would want to pursue anything with me. He has been out of a long term relationship for about a year now and is content with being alone. He also travels a lot and he is moving away soon.

    I want to move on and start at least looking at other guys, but I just think about him. I broke my year long celibacy recently and it was disappointing. I know I don't want or need random sex.

    It just kind of sucks when you know you are worthy of being with someone and that you could do a lot for that person, but alas, it is not to be.

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    Nov 28, 2013 8:00 PM GMT
    That's the way it works
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    Nov 28, 2013 8:17 PM GMT
    Tell him how you feel and see if he reciprocates.

    Though I think if he is moving and traveling a lot this is doomed to fail. So you better move on with your life like he is doing with his.

    Don't put all your eggs in one basket.
  • Eli_jah

    Posts: 1391

    Nov 28, 2013 8:39 PM GMT
    Solomono saidTell him how you feel and see if he reciprocates.

    Though I think if he is moving and traveling a lot this is doomed to fail. So you better move on with your life like he is doing with his.

    Don't put all your eggs in one basket.


    Oh, he knows how I feel... very much so. But yeah, he's leaving the city and I don't think there would be much of a chance anyway.

    C'est la vie. But I feel like it took 25 years to find someone like him and it might take 25 more.
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    Dec 01, 2013 2:17 AM GMT
    Dopeamine said

    It just kind of sucks when you know you are worthy of being with someone and that you could do a lot for that person, but alas, it is not to be.



    i've been there man, but you kinda got the quote above wrong. It's not that you are worthy of being with somebody who isn't that into you.

    You are worthy of being with somebody who is just as into you as you are into them.

    You DESERVE nothing less than somebody who is just as into you as you are into them.

    Don't settle for less.

    Also, I hate to say it, but as long as you keep in contact with this guy, you will probably still be in love with him while he pursues others. From my own experience, you can't start to heal until you stop contact. It sounds shitty to do that to a friend, but when you are in unreciprocated love, its the only way to heal and move on. And you will never have room in your life for the RIGHT guy for you, if you dont move on from the WRONG guy. And if you are in love with him and he isn't in love wiht you, then he is definitely the wrong guy.
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    Dec 01, 2013 2:20 AM GMT
    Dopeamine said
    Solomono saidTell him how you feel and see if he reciprocates.

    Though I think if he is moving and traveling a lot this is doomed to fail. So you better move on with your life like he is doing with his.

    Don't put all your eggs in one basket.


    Oh, he knows how I feel... very much so. But yeah, he's leaving the city and I don't think there would be much of a chance anyway.

    C'est la vie. But I feel like it took 25 years to find someone like him and it might take 25 more.


    I know how you feel as I used to feel the same way about this guy previously.

    But life is full of surprises and I'm pretty sure you'll get over him once you meet the right one icon_smile.gif
  • cavecanem10

    Posts: 70

    Dec 04, 2013 12:53 AM GMT
    I can relate to this, granted I was not as infatuated for so long, but my first real guy crush I obsessed over for months and he was just looking for some fun, which at the time I didn't recognize/understand.

    I think if you know that the signs are clear it's not going to work out, then you have to come to terms with that and try to move on. I thought this guy was fantastic, like we connected in so many ways and texted constantly, but in the end that was just how the game goes.

    I wanted to have something serious, and when I stopped trying, I met my bf. It's hard to picture from your standpoint, I know if someone told me the same thing, I'd ignore them, but try and imagine yourself without him and take that next step forward.

    It's funny now because I still talk to that guy, drunk texts occasionally about getting together even though he knows I'm dating someone. Also you're young, don't waste your time holding out for one person, and yes, it takes a lot of shit to strike gold, but I think you'll be happier.
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    Dec 04, 2013 1:02 AM GMT
    I don't get it. Out of all the good looking single men in NYC, you're fixated on ONE guy. Hmm...
  • Eli_jah

    Posts: 1391

    Dec 09, 2013 1:04 AM GMT
    Erik101 saidI don't get it. Out of all the good looking single men in NYC, you're fixated on ONE guy. Hmm...


    Yeah, yeah, but this guy is special. icon_razz.gif
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    Dec 09, 2013 3:13 AM GMT
    Dopeamine said
    Erik101 saidI don't get it. Out of all the good looking single men in NYC, you're fixated on ONE guy. Hmm...


    Yeah, yeah, but this guy is special. icon_razz.gif


    That may be but I predict you will get over this and move on. And since you are in the heart of Gay Central in America, you'll have no problem meeting a guy someday where the feelings will be mutual. Till then, I wish you the best and hope you can find the strength to move on.