Getting Mutually Tested before the Act.. How many of you do it?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 29, 2013 4:40 AM GMT
    I'm curious to know how many of you get mutually tested (as in going together to the clinic) with anyone before engaging in sexual activities with them.

    Have you ever done it? How was the experience? Do you bring up the topic with your dates, how and how soon?

    I confess that I have never done this myself despite having read about it . I used to be embarrassed to bring up the topic / request so I just relied on what the guys told me about their status, which is a risky behavior in itself.

    As of late though I have been casually bringing up the topic to my dates, and surprisingly I gotten positive feedback from them, that they understand my concern and would be willing to go test with me if we were to have sex, including for dormant STDs such as genital herpes.

    I would think that just the experience of going together to the clinic can be an eye opener for the both of us and make us realize how real these risks are, as well as the importance of safe sex and behavior.

    What are your thoughts/ experiences on the issue?
  • highforthis

    Posts: 681

    Nov 29, 2013 4:50 AM GMT
    I've never bothered with getting tested. I've only ever had safe sex, averaging at most one different guy per semester, all had great skin, none sketchy looking haha, and almost all born in the 90's. icon_lol.gif The chances they had anything is pretty much zero.

    You can only rely on tests 3 months after the guy's last sexual encounter with someone else... and that's if you believe him. Not worth the time and awkwardness for someone in my situation. If someone asked me "let's get tested", i'd pretty much assume he's a slut.

    I know I'll get a lot of flack for this, but it's the most pragmatic thing for people in my generation.
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    Nov 29, 2013 4:54 AM GMT
    highforthis saidI've never bothered with getting tested.


    icon_eek.gificon_confused.gif
  • PR_GMR

    Posts: 3831

    Nov 29, 2013 4:57 AM GMT
    highforthis saidI've never bothered with getting tested. I've only ever had safe sex, averaging at most one different guy per semester, all had great skin, none sketchy looking haha, and almost all born in the 90's. icon_lol.gifThe chances they had anything is pretty much zero.

    You can only rely on tests 3 months after the guy's last sexual encounter with someone else... and that's if you believe him. Not worth the time and awkwardness for someone in my situation. If someone asked me "let's get tested", i'd pretty much assume he's a slut.

    I know I'll get a lot of flack for this, but it's the most pragmatic thing for people in my generation.


    icon_lol.gif Yep. You were born in the 90s.. and quite the moron. I've met many POZ men who look healthier that most malnutritioned gay twinks.

    So now asking for status.. or asking to get tested.. makes someone automatically a slut? Good lord, you young twinks are fucking judgemental and stupid.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 29, 2013 4:58 AM GMT
    highforthis saidIf someone asked me "let's get tested", i'd pretty much assume he's a slut.

    .


    Wtf icon_question.gificon_exclaim.gif

    I don't know what hillbilly country you come from, but you're totally the wrong kind of person to reply to this thread lol
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    Nov 29, 2013 5:20 AM GMT
    Jaggal saidI don't bother because I usually avoid sex (oral too all together). There is risk with frottage (not for HIV), but with for herpes, for example, but I probably already have herpes and mono anyway.

    http://www.ctvnews.ca/health/health-headlines/one-in-7-canadians-has-genital-herpes-statscan-study-1.1241792

    And add to the simplex type 1.

    And I get tested once a year, just to be sure.


    Never knew mono nor tested for it I think .

    But I don't have genital herpes and I don't wanna catch it.

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    Nov 29, 2013 5:30 AM GMT
    Jaggal said
    Solomono said
    Jaggal saidI don't bother because I usually avoid sex (oral too all together). There is risk with frottage (not for HIV), but with for herpes, for example, but I probably already have herpes and mono anyway.

    http://www.ctvnews.ca/health/health-headlines/one-in-7-canadians-has-genital-herpes-statscan-study-1.1241792

    And add to the simplex type 1.

    And I get tested once a year, just to be sure.


    Never knew mono nor tested for it I think .

    But I don't have genital herpes I don't wanna catch it.



    You'll only know if you get tested out of a certain time window, and the test says you don't have it. Not showing symptoms doesn't mean you don't have it. Herpes is also easy to spread. Herpes follows the Lysogenic cycle so, like HIV, it stays with you till death.


    Thanks for the explanation. Very sexy when a guy knows his stuff ;) lol
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 29, 2013 6:03 AM GMT

    If you're talking anything risky then YES. Even more, going to the same Doc and giving permission to talk to either one of us about the others' health. That's trust.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Nov 29, 2013 6:28 AM GMT
    My boyfriend and I got tested together shortly after we met. At the time we both felt scared and promised to stay together no matter what. I had been tested many times, but it was his first test. We were thankfully both negative.
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    Nov 29, 2013 6:33 AM GMT
    HottJoe saidMy boyfriend and I got tested together shortly after we met. At the time we both felt scared and promised to stay together no matter what. I had been tested many times, but it was his first test. We were thankfully both negative.


    Sweet story ^^
  • theonewhoknoc...

    Posts: 713

    Nov 29, 2013 6:48 AM GMT
    LOL yes, it's as romantic as any scene in RENT.

    Highforthis makes it sound like a generational thing... so far I don't know of any friends my age who get tested. HIV isn't even on their radar, except for this one friend who we know gets a lot of sex, so we jokingly tell him to "get tested". Any other guys around 20-25 who regularly get tested?
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    Nov 29, 2013 7:11 AM GMT
    I've only done that with people I was very serious about and knew we could come to the point of giving up protection
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Nov 29, 2013 8:14 AM GMT
    theonewhoknocks saidLOL yes, it's as romantic as any scene in RENT.

    Highforthis makes it sound like a generational thing... so far I don't know of any friends my age who get tested. HIV isn't even on their radar, except for this one friend who we know gets a lot of sex, so we jokingly tell him to "get tested". Any other guys around 20-25 who regularly get tested?

    God, I hope so. Guys my age grew up in a whole different environment. There was way less internet, and being gay was considered counterculture. Coming out in high school meant dropping out. A lot of gay people ended up in poverty. If you were gay back then no one expected you to do anything but be oppressed. Nowadays gay guys are expecting to have marriage and kids. They're trying to be all suburban and middle class American. I keep hearing you guys slut-shame each other, but that's not working, because we can see HIV is spreading after it had declined a decade ago. I once truly thought the message had stuck and it would be behind us. The gay community was smaller back then, but more effective at educating people, and that education wasn't about slut shaming. Don't get me wrong, there were always catty mean young men who rebuffed older guys and cock blocked each other, but at least condoms were normalized and handed out at every bar, coffee shop and anywhere else gay people met.

    Unfortunately, we're not your parents, we weren't there when you weren't taught sex ed, and you didn't experience the 80s firsthand. You're not being safe when you should be, and you're educating yourselves on porn and gossip and ridicule, apparently.

    My advice is to date more than hookup, make more friends with other gay men and be less bitter. The meanness is soooo unflattering. And when it comes to sex you need to practice safe sex. Mainly that means using a condom for anal sex. You should start with making out, messing around, dating and wait until you've known each other longer than two texts to have anal sex. But either way use a condom. And get tested together, and if your boyfriend won't come with then you need to assume he has something.
  • highforthis

    Posts: 681

    Dec 01, 2013 6:20 PM GMT
    theonewhoknocks saidLOL yes, it's as romantic as any scene in RENT.

    Highforthis makes it sound like a generational thing... so far I don't know of any friends my age who get tested. HIV isn't even on their radar, except for this one friend who we know gets a lot of sex, so we jokingly tell him to "get tested". Any other guys around 20-25 who regularly get tested?


    I dunno, just that this thing with older people telling younger guys to get tested... to me the sentiment somehow mirrors Rob Ford saying everyone in city council should be tested for drugs after he himself got caught. icon_lol.gif
  • DBomb129

    Posts: 144

    Dec 01, 2013 7:46 PM GMT
    If I was entering a relationship, it'd be on my to do list.
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    Dec 01, 2013 9:10 PM GMT
    DBomb129 saidIf I was entering a relationship, it'd be on my to do list.


    It should be when entering any *sexual* relationship.

    What's the point of getting tested after the act?
  • Huskul

    Posts: 6

    Dec 02, 2013 12:17 AM GMT
    Solomono said

    It should be when entering any *sexual* relationship.

    What's the point of getting tested after the act?


    you should protect yourself, but I think it is a little much to make someone get tested, and ask to be there so you know it is true.

    I would/have only considered going together after entering a relationship and being exclusive and certainly before even considering going raw.

    if you dont think you can trust the person to be honest about if they are poz or not, you maybe shouldnt be having any kind of sex with them.

  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Dec 02, 2013 12:38 AM GMT
    highforthis said
    theonewhoknocks saidLOL yes, it's as romantic as any scene in RENT.

    Highforthis makes it sound like a generational thing... so far I don't know of any friends my age who get tested. HIV isn't even on their radar, except for this one friend who we know gets a lot of sex, so we jokingly tell him to "get tested". Any other guys around 20-25 who regularly get tested?


    I dunno, just that this thing with older people telling younger guys to get tested... to me the sentiment somehow mirrors Rob Ford saying everyone in city council should be tested for drugs after he himself got caught. icon_lol.gif

    icon_confused.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 02, 2013 12:44 AM GMT
    Anyone who says "I don't need to get tested, I always have safe sex, I'm negative" is likely positive.

    Just so you know, if you run across one of these guys.
  • highforthis

    Posts: 681

    Dec 05, 2013 5:52 AM GMT
    HottJoe said
    highforthis said
    theonewhoknocks saidLOL yes, it's as romantic as any scene in RENT.

    Highforthis makes it sound like a generational thing... so far I don't know of any friends my age who get tested. HIV isn't even on their radar, except for this one friend who we know gets a lot of sex, so we jokingly tell him to "get tested". Any other guys around 20-25 who regularly get tested?


    I dunno, just that this thing with older people telling younger guys to get tested... to me the sentiment somehow mirrors Rob Ford saying everyone in city council should be tested for drugs after he himself got caught. icon_lol.gif

    icon_confused.gif


    lol what I mean is that in our circles, we tend to erroneously associate AIDS with people who grew up in the 80's or earlier, so there's that stigma. And a natural defense mechanism to that stigma is to diffuse it by telling people that they're not "above" the need to get tested. Just like Rob Ford telling his councilors not to throw stones in a glass house icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 05, 2013 2:56 PM GMT
    Huskul said
    Solomono said

    It should be when entering any *sexual* relationship.

    What's the point of getting tested after the act?


    you should protect yourself, but I think it is a little much to make someone get tested, and ask to be there so you know it is true.

    I would/have only considered going together after entering a relationship and being exclusive and certainly before even considering going raw.

    if you dont think you can trust the person to be honest about if they are poz or not, you maybe shouldnt be having any kind of sex with them.



    1) Nothing is too much to ask for when it comes to preserving your health.

    2) Raw is out of the question ever for me.

    3) There are many stds you can catch besides HIV and that are much more easily transmitted.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 05, 2013 3:29 PM GMT
    I thought this thread was about two dudes getting mentally tested before committing cooperative murder.
  • PR_GMR

    Posts: 3831

    Dec 05, 2013 3:31 PM GMT
    charlitos saidI thought this thread was about two dudes getting mentally tested before committing cooperative murder.


    No. This thread is about two dudes proposing marriage to each other before sucking each other's cocks.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 05, 2013 3:44 PM GMT
    PR_GMR said
    charlitos saidI thought this thread was about two dudes getting mentally tested before committing cooperative murder.


    No. This thread is about two dudes proposing marriage to each other before sucking each other's cocks.


    Hmm this is about not catching std's, of which you probably caught all sorts at your random group sex hookups.
  • PR_GMR

    Posts: 3831

    Dec 05, 2013 3:51 PM GMT
    Solomono said
    PR_GMR said
    charlitos saidI thought this thread was about two dudes getting mentally tested before committing cooperative murder.


    No. This thread is about two dudes proposing marriage to each other before sucking each other's cocks.


    Hmm this is about not catching std's, of which you probably caught all sorts at your random group sex hookups.


    icon_lol.gificon_lol.gif

    Laughable. How you assume and label everyone who isn't a puritan like you. You give good comedy.