Alpha Gays

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    Dec 06, 2008 7:33 PM GMT
    I love Details magazine. I was reading the article below this morning, and wondered what people thought of it. I liked it because it shows that there are other gay men out there that defy the stereotype of just living for the white party, South Beach, etc.

    http://men.style.com/details/blogs/thegadabout/alpha_gays/index.html
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    Dec 06, 2008 8:20 PM GMT
    I'm not quite sure what this article is saying. There was a kind of Alpha Male in the TV series Queer as Folk, in the character Brian Kinney, the advertising executive.

    He was the Holy Terror of that profession, made the straight competition look like rank amateurs. Rich and successful, but also sinfully self-indulgent like the gay stereotype, he could always solve every problem, the Deus ex Machina of his gay community, who would save his gay friends at the last moment from the evil straight world. And still find time to whore around the Babylon gay nightclub, and eventually buy the place.

    Or me [BLUSH]. Retired Army Colonel, who rose in the ranks from Buck Private, something that less than 1% of enlisted soldiers ever do. And a Holy Terror in my own right, in the ultimate straight butch world. The Army didn't promote me that many times by mistake, or because I made my bunk with a special gay flair.

    I think gay Alpha males have always been with us. We're just learning to realize it. Anyone ever hear of Alexander the Great?

    But neither do I accept this article's model that the gay A-M must be a clone of his straight counterpart, except in the bedroom. I'm not; I can swish with the best of 'em.

    No, rather I think that gay men are limited only by their own self-image. And if given the chance, unfettered by stereotypes, we are actually smarter, braver, more talented, resourceful and infinitely superior to the breeder males who intimidate us. Time to reverse that.
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    Dec 06, 2008 8:52 PM GMT
    haha i read the magazine over thanksgiving and that article was amazing! Not only did i laugh and find it entertaining, my family loved the little table it had. I'm a fan.. and tried to convince them i was an Alpha haha

    I loved it (had some disagreements about a few things) but overall it was on point.
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    Dec 06, 2008 9:02 PM GMT
    haha i read that article on my break from work that was fun. id be an alpha gay if i wasnt so broke lol.
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    Dec 06, 2008 9:26 PM GMT
    I made my assistant read the article and quickly summarize it for me when she was de-foaming my latte. How's that for alpha?

    Kidding. But it was a fun read. I've always been very type-A in the workplace. Honestly, I've never viewed ambition as a function of sexuality.
  • styrgan

    Posts: 2017

    Dec 06, 2008 9:27 PM GMT
    http://men.style.com/details/blogs/thegadabout/alpha_gays/index.html
  • styrgan

    Posts: 2017

    Dec 06, 2008 9:28 PM GMT
    Oh wait. Was I being type-A there?

    icon_razz.gif
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    Dec 06, 2008 9:32 PM GMT
    It seems like a not-so-subtle spiel to entice people to buy over-priced crap. Oh yeah... Details... icon_rolleyes.gif
  • vindog

    Posts: 1440

    Dec 06, 2008 9:34 PM GMT
    that's pretty awesome....I'm def an A-gay, without the materialistic BS they seemed to think is necessary. But, then again, it is Details.


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    Dec 06, 2008 9:38 PM GMT
    Lol interesting article. Own it... I guess I need to start amassing my empire if I want to get my Alpha card.
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    Dec 06, 2008 9:38 PM GMT
    Red_Vespa said....

    I think gay Alpha males have always been with us. We're just learning to realize it. Anyone ever hear of Alexander the Great?

    But neither do I accept this article's model that the gay A-M must be a clone of his straight counterpart, except in the bedroom. I'm not; I can swish with the best of 'em.

    No, rather I think that gay men are limited only by their own self-image. And if given the chance, unfettered by stereotypes, we are actually smarter, braver, more talented, resourceful and infinitely superior to the breeder males who intimidate us. Time to reverse that.


    I agree. Very nice point Vespa!

    Also, a study was done in 2000, I think, that demonstrated how much more likely homosexuals are to graduate from college and that their IQ's are much higher than their straight counterparts. All the gay alpha males I know aren't hiding in the closet...they just don't make their sexuality an issue. I know a number of people that have worked for conservative corporations that had to overlook their open sexuality to retain their valued employee. We need to move past the "overlook" part of that by expecting respect and not feeling limited by our personal lives. So many people I know feel that they are limited but their actions only accept this notion. We cant expect straights to understand that we are a large and valued part of society if we don't see it that way either. We can all be Alpha-Gay-Males if we accept that it exists within ourselves and take action. That's one good idea that may spring from this article, no matter how flawed it is.
  • vindog

    Posts: 1440

    Dec 06, 2008 10:34 PM GMT
    So...do we think 2 alpha gays would make good partners?

    Discuss
  • MikePhilPerez

    Posts: 4357

    Dec 06, 2008 10:42 PM GMT
    Balljunkie saidI love Details magazine. I was reading the article below this morning, and wondered what people thought of it. I liked it because it shows that there are other gay men out there that defy the stereotype of just living for the white party, South Beach, etc.

    http://men.style.com/details/blogs/thegadabout/alpha_gays/index.html


    Learn how to do this........http://men.style.com/details/blogs/thegadabout/alpha_gays/index.html
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    Dec 06, 2008 10:55 PM GMT
    hate to be a devil's advocate in here. but most successful 'A-type' men i've met or chatted with, pretty much became financially successful while living a straight lifestyle or deep in the closet. it wasn't until they were at or near the top in their field did they finally decide to be 'less-discrete' in every part of their life.

    just read YngHungSFSD's other thread. trying to become this article's A-type gay guy isn't as easy as it sounds to young guys who start out in companies, and who are comfortably but not flaming out. just a thought.
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    Dec 06, 2008 11:07 PM GMT
    atlnvmasc saidSo...do we think 2 alpha gays would make good partners?

    Discuss


    In my case, yes. The worst thing for me is a sub for a partner. I need someone who can stand up to me, match me, better me at times.

    A sub would be my undoing. I'd roll right over him, take advantage of him, exploit him, treat him poorly. Not by design, but by degrees, over time.

    My best partner is someone as strong as me. I've written here before about other factors for ideal partners, like having similar interests, but complimentary skills. So that together we are a complete team, able to tackle a whole spectrum of life's challenges, but enjoying similar things together.

    But the last thing I need is a non-Alpha partner.
  • NickoftheNort...

    Posts: 1416

    Dec 06, 2008 11:12 PM GMT
    Read it and found myself somewhat nauseous.

    Balljunkie saidI liked it because it shows that there are other gay men out there that defy the stereotype of just living for the white party, South Beach, etc.


    To me, it did none of the sort. Albo fails to give any explicit examples of the A-Gays he so lavishly adores (the closest he gets is Gilbert's reference to Neil Patrick Harris and Portia del Rossi, which doesn't make it any more concrete). Why doesn't Albo at least mention one by name and then use that person to verify the lenghty list of the oh-so-wonderful elements? After he lists his reasons for worshipping the ground on which these people thread (similar to tedious attempts at "acting" in amateur porn), he fails to give a money shot and instead cuts to reaction shots of available celebricrats.

    Quite frankly this article is porn (for celebricultists), fails to acknowledge that it's porn, and isn't even good porn.

    ***
    As for the "A-Gays" term, I much prefer Kathy Griffin's "power gay"; it's intentionally silly, self-aware, and, most of all, fun.

    As for stereotyped gay male behavior and moving away from it, Albo's article merely provides an alternate altar; you're better of just not worshipping either and instead doing whatever you want to do regardless of whether it is stereotypical, socially aggrandizing, or out of the ordinary.
  • DCEric

    Posts: 3713

    Dec 07, 2008 12:27 AM GMT
    Call me uneducated, but what is this White Party you speak of?
  • NickoftheNort...

    Posts: 1416

    Dec 07, 2008 12:35 AM GMT
    DCEric saidCall me uneducated, but what is this White Party you speak of?

    Circuit parties where all the participants dress in whtie: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_Party
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    Dec 07, 2008 12:40 AM GMT
    I have definitely met Alpha gays in bars and parties, but in the professional world? Not so much. I am a bit of a Type A at work, but not at all outside of work. Very relaxed and "laid-back".
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    Dec 07, 2008 12:58 AM GMT
    Funny how those "alphas" are so quick to put their tail between their legs once a true alfa is around. A true alpha doesnt have to prove themselves like these guys, A true alpha walks in and everyone knows it. Only the guys that need to prove themselves as a big dog try to show it.

    The true alpha's are the silent types that don't need to be the attention whore acting badass.


    Its easy to be alpha when everyone around you is dancing to barbit girl. Being masculine doesn't make you alpha, many seem to think so.Bigger
    doesn't mean your alpha, but those bigger guys end up being the big bottoms lol
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    Dec 07, 2008 1:04 AM GMT
    I will be myself.

    Neither an overly effeminate individual or a masculine straight-acting man because I believe both are trying to compensate for feelings of inadequacy.

    I think success comes from being smart, confident, resourceful, determined etc

    That article like so many others seems to be trying to convince me

    Stuff/Money=success=happiness
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    Dec 07, 2008 1:08 AM GMT
    I'm pretty sure you can be a top-notch alpha gay (or whatever they're calling confident, self-respecting gays these days) without all the consumerism this article suggests.
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    Dec 07, 2008 1:44 AM GMT
    Yep. I used to know a few folks from over at Details Magazine.

    Confidence, attitude, networking, luck,... all breed success.

    Playing the victim, self-pity, being whiney and negative... all breed failure.

    Success is by design. You plan, and execute.
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    Dec 07, 2008 1:51 AM GMT
    chuckystud3 saidYep. I used to know a few folks from over at Details Magazine.

    Confidence, attitude, networking, luck,... all breed success.

    Playing the victim, self-pity, being whiney and negative... all breed failure.

    Success is by design. You plan, and execute.



    Details
    Often athletic, they're never steroid queens. And they can pull off having much-younger boyfriends without looking creepy.


    Sorry Chucky it seems your not alpha icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Dec 07, 2008 1:58 AM GMT
    "Even those A-gays with kids are able to find the time to perfect themselves, becoming the healthier, more stylish, more popular version of you that might have been. The cultural barriers that once held them back have largely eroded, but instead of waving rainbow flags, they maintain a subtle privacy about their sexuality. Out but not loud, proud but discreet, they transcend gayness in much the same way that Barack Obama is said to have transcended race."

    A-Gay guys sound really great but I feel slightly ... (weird?) about the analogs there... hmm...

    Go cool A-Gay guys... hmmm icon_confused.gif