So I went to a gaybar for the first time in my life!

  • Nayro

    Posts: 1825

    Nov 30, 2013 2:23 AM GMT
    Yah, I'm a bit later than most guys, but still icon_razz.gif After checking out a few bars on my own I went into this one bar and I noticed it's a quite hard to actually get a conversation started with others since most are with a group of friends. So I drank a few beers and just walked up to someone and we talked for a while. He was a bit older than I, he didn't wanna say his age but I guess he was about 34 or so. He recommended I go to another place with men more of my age. So I went there. It was drag queen night or something, it was great. Those queens can really put up a show!

    Then I saw this couple who was standing close to me and I asked one of them if this was the best club to be and he said it was pretty good. So I saw another guy standing by himself and I figured ah what the hell, I'll just go to him and talk. He was a quite handsome taiwanese guy. We'll call him A so we talked some and he bought me a drink and we just really had a great talk, we flirted some, did a short kiss icon_razz.gif. So we were talking about what kind of guys we thought were attractive, so we saw this couple who i talked to before and he one guy was attractive and I thought the other of the 2 was more attractive. It seems they noticed we were looking at them and the one I thought was attractive came towards A. He told him that he usually wasn't into asians but he thought A was really attractive. So from my RJ experience I figured he would be quite offended but he was flattered. Ok well, fair enough. So from one thing came another and we started talking to these guys. They looked like they were in their late twenties but they were 36 (B) and 37 (C).. Crazy gay genes or something, I don't know. Turned out the guy I talked to before B was Dutch as well, quite a coincedence. So we talked a bit and A was talking to C. It was obvious C liked A, to make a long story short B ended going home alone cause he had to work and right after C took A home.. So not quite a succesful first gay night out but I had fun nonetheless. I guess since I was quite a bit younger than the others it was only logical that A and C left together.. but it still felt a bit like he took A from me after I had talked to him for hours and we kissed.. Guess that's gay life...

    A was really sweet though, he bought me drinks, and I returned the favor ofcourse. And even though C was hitting on him quite obvious he still came towards me and talked to me and such. But at the end he still left with C..

    So I thought I'd just share this with u guys, was wondering how your first time in a gay bar was as well icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 30, 2013 2:54 AM GMT
    Next time, maybe don't ask every guy how old he is.
    icon_lol.gif


    Glad you're getting out there and having a good time.
    You go.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 30, 2013 3:00 AM GMT
    Daelin said
    So I thought I'd just share this with u guys, was wondering how your first time in a gay bar was as well icon_smile.gif

    My first time was great, as well as the subsequent times. I was a much later bloomer than you, and I also had a gay "mentor" as my "chaperone", which made it easier.

    My goal was simple: to learn, and to have a good time. I accomplished both. And frankly, it sounds like you did, too.

    If you make scoring with someone as your first-time goal you're likely gonna be disappointed. Disappointed if you fail, and possibly disappointed if you succeed. You may not be ready yet for going home with a guy, especially a total stranger.

    MY initial goal was to have a good time, and to learn things. It sounds like that's exactly what you did, and so by my measure you in fact succeeded. And every time you go back you'll learn more, as I did, and things will begin to fall into place.

    You're also correct in your observation that many guys will already have their circle of friends, and breaking into that "set" isn't easy. So instead of sitting alone in silence at the bar, I always get to know the bartender, and talk with him. Of course that works best at non-crowded hours, when the bartender isn't swamped, the noise ear-splitting, and conversation impossible.

    But guys will hear you speaking, being friendly, laughing with the bartender, not a stranger there, and that's a great calling card. Before long some guy will strike up a conversation with you, and you take it from there. But when you sit in silence you will often experience silence in return.

    And yet still be prepared for disappointments. At times I've worked on attracting a guy all night, thought I was doing well, only to watch him walk out the door with somebody who spoke just 2 words to him. Sometimes they want you, and sometimes they don't.

    You keep trying until you find him. And sometimes you run across a guy who was trying all night to meet YOU. And that's something you gotta keep your eyes open to, as well.

    Well, you'll learn as you go. And I envy you the experience, because it was wonderful for me, even the times it didn't work out quite so well. If you keep your goals reasonable & modest, to just be out & about and having a fun time around others, then anything else beyond that will be just icing on the cake, and you'll never be disappointed, whether you go home alone, or end in bed with some guy.
  • Nayro

    Posts: 1825

    Nov 30, 2013 4:12 AM GMT
    Beaux saidNext time, maybe don't ask every guy how old he is.
    icon_lol.gif


    Glad you're getting out there and having a good time.
    You go.


    Didn't know I shouldn't. icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 30, 2013 4:15 AM GMT
    Jeez I can't keep up with your story.. This number talking to that number talking to another number icon_eek.gif

    Anyways glad you had a good time. My first time out I was alone and nervous. I just sat by myself in a corner watching all the guys dance, till a cute guy out of nowhere grabbed me by the hand and took me to the dance floor <3 He told me he couldn't keep his eyes off of me since the moment I walked to the club. We had fun and ended up dating for a while.
  • Nayro

    Posts: 1825

    Nov 30, 2013 4:16 AM GMT
    ART_DECO said
    Daelin said
    So I thought I'd just share this with u guys, was wondering how your first time in a gay bar was as well icon_smile.gif


    You keep trying until you find him. And sometimes you run across a guy who was trying all night to meet YOU. And that's something you gotta keep your eyes open to, as well.



    I don't see that happen in the near future but I guess I'll see :p
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 30, 2013 4:20 AM GMT
    You lost me with all those numbers mate !!
    Why ask people their age ?
    If you find a bloke attractive , why are you so worried of how old he is ..lol...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 30, 2013 4:48 AM GMT
    My first time, did three small bars in one night, I was 25, Sept 1990
    Two songs I remember the most that night

    Vogue - Madge
    Emotion - Mariah
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Nov 30, 2013 5:10 AM GMT
    Sounds to me like you had a perfectly good time. Didn't 'score' but if you enjoyed it that's what really counts!
  • Nayro

    Posts: 1825

    Nov 30, 2013 5:20 AM GMT
    neffa saidYou lost me with all those numbers mate !!
    Why ask people their age ?
    If you find a bloke attractive , why are you so worried of how old he is ..lol...


    haha, I don't care about age, I just don't know their names, but I did know their ages since we talked about that for a while. Maybe easier if I change the numbers into Letters? icon_razz.gif A, B,C? icon_razz.gif
  • Nayro

    Posts: 1825

    Nov 30, 2013 5:21 AM GMT
    Solomono saidJeez I can't keep up with your story.. This number talking to that number talking to another number icon_eek.gif

    Anyways glad you had a good time. My first time out I was alone and nervous. I just sat by myself in a corner watching all the guys dance, till a cute guy out of nowhere grabbed me by the hand and took me to the dance floor <3 He told me he couldn't keep his eyes off of me since the moment I walked to the club. We had fun and ended up dating for a while.


    oh that is a good story. That gives me some hope ;)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 30, 2013 6:32 AM GMT
    Congratulations on your finally diving into gaylife. You will do fine. It seems that moving to Australia has freed you up a bit. Though can't imagine what was holding you back in the Netherlands - a place that seems to us in the US as the easiest place in the world to be gay.
  • Nayro

    Posts: 1825

    Nov 30, 2013 6:54 AM GMT
    HikerSkier saidCongratulations on your finally diving into gaylife. You will do fine. It seems that moving to Australia has freed you up a bit. Though can't imagine what was holding you back in the Netherlands - a place that seems to us in the US as the easiest place in the world to be gay.


    your view on the Netherlands is a bit biased. It is true that Amsterdam is a really good place for gays. But I am from a more rural part of the country and it's not so heavenly over there.. Not horrible either, but just more narrowminded people.
  • 3014Beachgoer

    Posts: 44

    Feb 06, 2014 11:01 PM GMT
    Daelin saidYah, I'm a bit later than most guys, but still icon_razz.gif After checking out a few bars on my own I went into this one bar and I noticed it's a quite hard to actually get a conversation started with others since most are with a group of friends. So I drank a few beers and just walked up to someone and we talked for a while. He was a bit older than I, he didn't wanna say his age but I guess he was about 34 or so. He recommended I go to another place with men more of my age. So I went there. It was drag queen night or something, it was great. Those queens can really put up a show!

    Then I saw this couple who was standing close to me and I asked one of them if this was the best club to be and he said it was pretty good. So I saw another guy standing by himself and I figured ah what the hell, I'll just go to him and talk. He was a quite handsome taiwanese guy. We'll call him A so we talked some and he bought me a drink and we just really had a great talk, we flirted some, did a short kiss icon_razz.gif. So we were talking about what kind of guys we thought were attractive, so we saw this couple who i talked to before and he one guy was attractive and I thought the other of the 2 was more attractive. It seems they noticed we were looking at them and the one I thought was attractive came towards A. He told him that he usually wasn't into asians but he thought A was really attractive. So from my RJ experience I figured he would be quite offended but he was flattered. Ok well, fair enough. So from one thing came another and we started talking to these guys. They looked like they were in their late twenties but they were 36 (B) and 37 (C).. Crazy gay genes or something, I don't know. Turned out the guy I talked to before B was Dutch as well, quite a coincedence. So we talked a bit and A was talking to C. It was obvious C liked A, to make a long story short B ended going home alone cause he had to work and right after C took A home.. So not quite a succesful first gay night out but I had fun nonetheless. I guess since I was quite a bit younger than the others it was only logical that A and C left together.. but it still felt a bit like he took A from me after I had talked to him for hours and we kissed.. Guess that's gay life...

    A was really sweet though, he bought me drinks, and I returned the favor ofcourse. And even though C was hitting on him quite obvious he still came towards me and talked to me and such. But at the end he still left with C..

    So I thought I'd just share this with u guys, was wondering how your first time in a gay bar was as well icon_smile.gif
    Sounds like you did have a good time after all.. Hey theres always next time...