Trying not to REVEAL so much EMOTIONALLY

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  Dec 01, 2013 5:56 AM GMT

  So, this is the 6th or 7th date.
  He told me that he liked me a lot, I asked him why, he said I was gorgeous, smart, sweet, shared interests with him, his friends and his mom liked me. He almost said 'love' me but then he realized we're not even officially in a relationship, and we had a good laugh. But, that was so nice, I was moved, I like him a lot lot also, as for now I could say I want to share my life with this amazing guy, nothing I can complain yet: hot, tall, nice, responsible, kind-hearted, loving family, non-smoker, stable job, hard working, my age, etc.
  
  But I did not say it, or express any overly excited emotion, because in the past, I was always the chaser, now this would be my chance to enjoy being chased.
  
  'No chance
  No way
  I won't say I'm in love'
  
  
  Is it a wise move?

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• Rene_Aensland
  
  Posts: 2495
  
  
  Dec 01, 2013 2:05 PM GMT

  SHOW HIM how much you like him.
  You can talk about it later.
  
  Sounds like everything is heading in the right direction.
  I honestly hope the best for you. =]

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• MikeW
  
  Posts: 6065
  
  
  Dec 01, 2013 3:39 PM GMT

  Hmmm…. The question is, are you in love with him? Maybe you don't know for sure and that's fine… But I'm of the school that it is helpful for people in a relationship to communicate (one way and another) *how* they're feeling. Ok, so maybe you're not sure about the big L word but you can say, "I'm really enjoying getting to know you," or "I'm really having a good time with you right now," or whatever your truth is in the moment. I *do* understand the not wanting to be the chaser thing and not wanting to come on too strong thing. Just don't pretend to be disinterested if you are!

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• Bunjamon
  
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  Dec 01, 2013 5:00 PM GMT

  MikeW saidJust don't pretend to be disinterested if you are!

  
  
  Voilà. You'll be shooting yourself in the foot if you remain aloof solely for the reasons you mention above (because the chaser/chased distinction is kind of, for lack of a better word, stupid).

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• Destinharbor
  
  Posts: 4680
  
  
  Dec 01, 2013 5:28 PM GMT

  Ya, don't turn it into a game. When my partner of six years asked me early on if this was love, I just told him I didn't know but that something felt awfully right about it. Be an open book to him. Let go of baggage. Be vulnerable. Take a chance. That's what distinguishes love. You do everything you know from past failed attempts is wrong and he continues to love you. And vice-versa. Would you mind it if he said he loved you?

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