Black Gays are trophies for White Gays?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 02, 2013 4:10 PM GMT
    Now this is a topic that confuses the hell out of me. A number of black gay male friends of mine constantly tell me to watch out for white men because they seem to only want a black man to fulfill a fantasy. Meaning they just want to date a black man to objectify them, or show them off in a way. Furthermore, they believe that when a black gay man comes up in society or gains success they tend to intentionally go for white men. Do you all agree? Trust me, I won't judge anyone if they admit to dating a black or white man for reputation purposes. I just really want to understand more of this common opinion from black men.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 02, 2013 4:13 PM GMT
    Your friends are crazy.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 02, 2013 4:15 PM GMT
    The forum is filled with people experiencing hook ups just for sex or trophies instead of real relationships. Why should black people be excluded? That said, may I have a black trophy please?
    (NiceGuy01NY, are you listening?)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 02, 2013 4:16 PM GMT
    Blah blah blah .. tell your friends to stfu
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 02, 2013 4:50 PM GMT
    Force saidNow this is a topic that confuses the hell out of me. A number of black gay male friends of mine constantly tell me to watch out for white men because they seem to only want a black man to fulfill a fantasy. Meaning they just want to date a black man to objectify them, or show them off in a way. Furthermore, they believe that when a black gay man comes up in society or gains success they tend to intentionally go for white men. Do you all agree? Trust me, I won't judge anyone if they admit to dating a black or white man for reputation purposes. I just really want to understand more of this common opinion from black men.
    my first real bf wasnt white and i loved him for who he was not the color of his skin...so no icon_smile.gif its a crappy argument..
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 02, 2013 4:56 PM GMT
    I just don't get the judgement they have for interracial relationships. Yet they claim to not be attracted to white men.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 02, 2013 4:57 PM GMT
    JohnSpotter saidThe forum is filled with people experiencing hook ups just for sex or trophies instead of real relationships. Why should black people be excluded? That said, may I have a black trophy please?
    (NiceGuy01NY, are you listening?)


    lol I see what you mean
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 02, 2013 5:02 PM GMT
    I know how to solve your problem......stop listening to your close-minded black gay male friends.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 02, 2013 5:42 PM GMT
    OP needs to hang out with smarter friends.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 02, 2013 9:28 PM GMT
    Force saidNow this is a topic that confuses the hell out of me. A number of black gay male friends of mine constantly tell me to watch out for white men because 1. they seem to only want a black man to fulfill a fantasy. Meaning 1. they just want to date a black man to objectify them, or show them off in a way. Furthermore, 2. they believe that when a black gay man comes up in society or gains success they tend to intentionally go for white men. Do you all agree? Trust me, I won't judge anyone if they admit to dating a black or white man for reputation purposes. I just really want to understand more of this common opinion from black men.


    1. of course some white men objectify black men; however, some black men can do the same to white guys to fulfill a fantasy. the same holds true for other races as well. people tend not to want to admit it for fear of being called racist, but it certainly exists. it's up to you whether you want to play into that fantasy or not because you have the option of finding someone who is interested in more than just a hook-up race-based fantasy. i'm personally fine with the occasional hook-up with a guy who likes to worship my "big black cock." (it's really not that big, but hey these things are relative.) icon_lol.gif i will say that it's not just white guys who have this fantasy.

    2. as a black guy who has attained a modest level of educational success (currently finishing up my phd), i have noticed that an overwhelming number of gay black male colleagues tend to date white guys. i'm sure there are some black men who make a conscious effort to seek white partners. i'm sure you could find many on this website. however, it may also be because they prefer to date someone who has attained a similar level of educational success (the dating pool has a limited number of other gay black men who have achieved the same level of success). in addition to black gay men feeling snubbed by successful (and even not so successful) black men, there are similar feelings among some black women who feel that successful black men usually date white women. hence, the huge outcry from black women over that innocent cheerios commercial with the interracial couple a few months ago.

    i personally date guys, without regard to race. as long as i find them physically attractive and i like their personality, i could care less about race.

    finally, you will probably not get too many honest or thoughtful responses to your question because most people like to pretend that these things don't exist to avoid talking about race. you may get a few more, but don't expect too many.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 02, 2013 9:30 PM GMT
    Behemothboi saidBlah blah blah .. tell your friends to stfu


    +1
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 03, 2013 12:02 AM GMT
    sean_zuri said
    Force saidNow this is a topic that confuses the hell out of me. A number of black gay male friends of mine constantly tell me to watch out for white men because 1. they seem to only want a black man to fulfill a fantasy. Meaning 1. they just want to date a black man to objectify them, or show them off in a way. Furthermore, 2. they believe that when a black gay man comes up in society or gains success they tend to intentionally go for white men. Do you all agree? Trust me, I won't judge anyone if they admit to dating a black or white man for reputation purposes. I just really want to understand more of this common opinion from black men.


    1. of course some white men objectify black men; however, some black men can do the same to white guys to fulfill a fantasy. the same holds true for other races as well. people tend not to want to admit it for fear of being called racist, but it certainly exists. it's up to you whether you want to play into that fantasy or not because you have the option of finding someone who is interested in more than just a hook-up race-based fantasy. i'm personally fine with the occasional hook-up with a guy who likes to worship my "big black cock." (it's really not that big, but hey these things are relative.) icon_lol.gif i will say that it's not just white guys who have this fantasy.

    2. as a black guy who has attained a modest level of educational success (currently finishing up my phd), i have noticed that an overwhelming number of gay black male colleagues tend to date white guys. i'm sure there are some black men who make a conscious effort to seek white partners. i'm sure you could find many on this website. however, it may also be because they prefer to date someone who has attained a similar level of educational success (the dating pool has a limited number of other gay black men who have achieved the same level of success). in addition to black gay men feeling snubbed by successful (and even not so successful) black men, there are similar feelings among some black women who feel that successful black men usually date white women. hence, the huge outcry from black women over that innocent cheerios commercial with the interracial couple a few months ago.

    i personally date guys, without regard to race. as long as i find them physically attractive and i like their personality, i could care less about race.

    finally, you will probably not get too many honest or thoughtful responses to your question because most people like to pretend that these things don't exist to avoid talking about race. you may get a few more, but don't expect too many.


    I'm feelin you on point two. I think many guys tend to date other guys when they find someone they can develop a relationship with. A lot of that has to do with location. If you are around a bunch of black/white men and you find one that you can relate to then so be it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 03, 2013 12:08 AM GMT
    JohnSpotter saidThe forum is filled with people experiencing hook ups just for sex or trophies instead of real relationships. Why should black people be excluded? That said, may I have a black trophy please?
    (NiceGuy01NY, are you listening?)


    My ears are burning.icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 03, 2013 12:34 AM GMT
    thebearerofbadnews saidi feel you, man. it's really sad to see how racism is so blatant and prevalent in the gay community. the weak expose themselves because they're the ones that have to resort to shit like that in order to make themselves feel good. anytime they do that, it's because they know they're not shit. we don't even have to shit on them because they do it perfectly fine. it makes no sense to add insult to injury when a dude is hurt. i laugh whenever i see someone on that shit too. talk about false confidence and self esteem. they would die @ the thought of being rejected or ignored.


    Thats how I always felt about it. I don't get how someone can love someone else simply based upon the color of their skin. I'm sure shit happens but a long term relationship? No way, has to be some genuine feelings there.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 03, 2013 1:31 AM GMT
    I had my trophy black man bronzed...
    img-basketball_sculpture_rfb019.jpg
  • jo2hotbod

    Posts: 3603

    Dec 03, 2013 6:58 AM GMT
    Please explain why... If a white dude dates a black dude it's objectifying and if a white dude won't date a black dude it's racism. Can there ever not be a negative motive? Can a white dude ever just love or simply not be interested in a black dude?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 03, 2013 7:05 AM GMT
    To summarize all race threads past, present, and future..

    "You're damned if you do, you're damned if you don't."

    Ignore all the haters. Love who you want to love. Fuck who you want to fuck.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 03, 2013 1:19 PM GMT
    jo2hotbod saidPlease explain why... If a white dude dates a black dude it's objectifying and if a white dude won't date a black dude it's racism. 1. Can there ever not be a negative motive? 2. Can a white dude ever just love or simply not be interested in a black dude?


    1. of course.

    2. of course and the opposite can also be true.

    if you're genuinely interested, below is a link to an academic article describing sexual objectification of gay black men. it's not a lancet article, but it's a start.


    https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B7y1TlPhKPTpYXBJMGpkZTg4OGs/edit?usp=sharing