Where Should I go?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 07, 2013 2:52 AM GMT
    I really enjoy my hometown. I have many friends and family here who I love, but I don't feel like I really belong here anymore. I want to either go back to school (if I can find a way to afford it) or find a better job but I feel like my hometown isn't the best place to fulfill either of those things. Plus, I suck at finding a date and the pickings here for me seem to be slim at best.

    Anyone have any suggestions on where I should move to?
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    Dec 07, 2013 5:37 PM GMT
    There are a LARGE number of threads devoted to some variation of this issue here on RJ. "How Can I Move to San Francisco...?" "Where can I find good careers in....?" Most of these usually at least have some general end-stage goal. (Ex. the individual wants to move to NY or LA because they are drawn - rightly or wrongly - to some fantasy image they have of that metro area. Or, the individual wants to move up into a career and is somehow hoping that other RJ members might provide key insights).

    Your question is far, far too vague. All I can tell is that you are a twenty-something in Cincinnati who is bored with his current life and where he lives and wants change.

    Before you posted this, did you review the older forums to see how people responded to other similar questions or did you impulsively just post?

    If you just post boundless questions like this you will get nothing but subjective anecdotes from people about their lives without that information having any real meaningful relation to your own personal goals and aspirations.

    So here is a piece of advice. Instead of asking "Where should I go?", why not go down to your public library and take out some books related to cities or countries that you are interested in. Then read those books.

    Do the same for career-related books. Here's one that might even inspire you to do something completely different:
    What Should I Do With My Life: The True Story of People Who Answered the Ultimate Question by
    Po Bronson.

    I'm not so gently suggesting that you - and everyone else on RJ who wants advice on managing change in their lives - take the most important first steps on their own:Make an inventory of your needs. Do your research. Then start to network and ask questions from people who can really help you achieve those goals. There are a lot of very intelligent, experienced and generous guys on this site who will provide meaningful counsel when asked. But you gotta take some personal responsibility first and not just impulsively daydream.
    Does that make sense?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 07, 2013 5:40 PM GMT
    I was in your shoes. I moved to NYC for 12 years. Then moved to LA and have been here almost 16 years.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 07, 2013 5:50 PM GMT
    See what I mean?

    DallasFan824 was nice enough to reply to your post.

    And now you know that he has lived in both New York and Los Angeles.

    How nice. Did that help you in any meaningful way?
    Perhaps - if you didn't already know that those two cities existed.

    But if you did, then his response in no way benefited you, did it?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 07, 2013 5:55 PM GMT
    even with cold and rain and outside cranky homo like you cant ruin my day icon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gif
  • LJay

    Posts: 11612

    Dec 07, 2013 6:01 PM GMT
    Well, from looking at your profile, I would say you have an open field. Probably the first ting to do is to decide how you want to make a living and then tosee where that can happen.

    If you can figure out how to afford it, Boston is a great place with loads of intellectual activity and even access to outdoor venues in New England. Or how about Portland, Oregon, or Madison, Wisconsin? Wherever you go, you need to provide a place for your very active mind to thrive.
  • roadbikeRob

    Posts: 14345

    Dec 07, 2013 6:17 PM GMT
    I am originally from Buffalo. When I was in my late 20s, I enlisted in the US Army and swore that I would never live in Buffalo or anywhere in the State of New York ever again. Why I got my early out of the Army, I took the advice of both my company commander and first sergeant and moved to Austin rather than to Houston. I regretted that decision ever since because Austin was expensive, unfriendly, and overrated. I should have stuck to my original plan by moving to Houston because I was already getting quite familiar with that city after numerous visits on weekends. After nine years of living in Austin and putting up with its bullshit, I finally called it quits and moved back home to Buffalo in May 2001. I have been in Buffalo ever since and despite my lousy, shitty income I am very happy to be back in my old hometown. You appreciate things at home more when you have lived away for awhile. Buffalo is a wonderful city with friendly people and an affordable cost of living. Our climate is a beautiful four seasons, it is definitely not 2 months of summer and 10 months of winter like the news media likes to blow out of proportion. Probably you should do what I failed to do in my late 20s and that is take a good hard look at your hometown of Cincinnati and seek out all the positives. Than you might not be so inclined to leave Cincinnati and instead seek opportunity there instead of some sprawled out, overpriced sunbelt burg. Something for you to consider.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 07, 2013 6:19 PM GMT
    roadbikeRob saidI am originally from Buffalo.


    I get up there. My cousins live in North Tonawanda, I get chicken wing overload icon_smile.gif
  • roadbikeRob

    Posts: 14345

    Dec 07, 2013 6:46 PM GMT
    Dallasfan824 said
    roadbikeRob saidI am originally from Buffalo.


    I get up there. My cousins live in North Tonawanda, I get chicken wing overload icon_smile.gif
    I am very familiar with North Tonawanda, it is an old industrial town that went through the ubiquitous urban decline and loss of industry though it is nowhere near as bad as nearby Niagara Falls.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 07, 2013 7:52 PM GMT
    roadbikeRob said
    Dallasfan824 said
    roadbikeRob saidI am originally from Buffalo.


    I get up there. My cousins live in North Tonawanda, I get chicken wing overload icon_smile.gif
    I am very familiar with North Tonawanda, it is an old industrial town that went through the ubiquitous urban decline and loss of industry though it is nowhere near as bad as nearby Niagara Falls.

    we just refer to it a shit hole icon_smile.gif
  • roadbikeRob

    Posts: 14345

    Dec 07, 2013 8:01 PM GMT
    Dallasfan824 said
    roadbikeRob said
    Dallasfan824 said
    roadbikeRob saidI am originally from Buffalo.


    I get up there. My cousins live in North Tonawanda, I get chicken wing overload icon_smile.gif
    I am very familiar with North Tonawanda, it is an old industrial town that went through the ubiquitous urban decline and loss of industry though it is nowhere near as bad as nearby Niagara Falls.

    we just refer to it a shit hole icon_smile.gif
    Niagara Falls is a shit hole and an urban disaster area combined into one. Most of that town is depressing, decrepit, and now dangerous because of all the drug gangs that have taken root after being driven out of almost everyplace else in Western New York.
  • FRE0

    Posts: 4864

    Dec 07, 2013 8:11 PM GMT
    Probably you can find a way to go back to school. You could take night classes while working during the day. I did that for a number of years; that's how I did most of the course work to get my degree. However, doing that requires having a job with regular hours so that you will have time to attend classes. Logistics requires that you be able to get from home to work and to school quickly and economically. It also takes self-discipline because while working and going to school, there is little time to do anything except work, eat, sleep, and study. However, in the long run, it can pay off very well. I would not want to do it again, but I'm glad that I did it.

    Whether you can do that in Cincinnati I have no idea. You will have to find out for yourself. If you can't do it in Cincinnati, you will have to find a place where it is possible.
  • roadbikeRob

    Posts: 14345

    Dec 07, 2013 9:12 PM GMT
    Well then just follow your heart and move to a place that could help you fulfill your lifetime plans.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 08, 2013 9:23 AM GMT
    New York is my 4th city. I relocated for school and I loved every single minute of it. But I do have the same feeling as you do cerebro86. So I have been looking at schools in Europe for Masters if you're into that. Many of the universities in Europe have relatively cheap tuition for a great education. I'm applying to a couple of universities in Berlin as the city and the tuition is cheap.

    But if you are just looking into working or just want to get out, I suggest that you might want to stay at home while working. Then when you have gathered enough money, travel around and see where you would fit the best. To be honest, I've heard several reasons from everywhere why I should move to X city or Y country. But only you would know if that place is the perfect fit for you!
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    Dec 08, 2013 10:00 AM GMT
    Aristoshark said
    roadbikeRob saidNiagara Falls is a shit hole and an urban disaster area combined into one. Most of that town is depressing, decrepit, and now dangerous because of all the drug gangs that have taken root after being driven out of almost everyplace else in Western New York.

    Really? That's sad; I was there as a kid and I remember it as being a nice little town. Not so touristy as the Canadian side, more residential and sort of pleasant. But this was around 1668 1968











    Fixed!icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 08, 2013 10:23 AM GMT
    here you should.

    Great-Value-Accommodation-in-Paris.jpg

    People say its the city of love..and I approve!

    *I would if I have the option at any given time.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 08, 2013 2:59 PM GMT
    NJ is a great place!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 08, 2013 3:28 PM GMT
    Here are a few gay friendly cities/areas for you to consider:

    New York City/Northern NJ area-plenty of job opportunities and lots of men. Transportation friendly, always something going on.

    San Francisco Bay Area-Plenty of jobs, great men, plenty of schools, transportation friendly, great weather, (excluding the city of SF itself)

    LA/San Diego/ So. Cal. Jobs, gorgeous men, weather, awesome nightlife

    Atlanta: Plenty of schools, transit friendly, gay scene is great there also. Really affordable to live there also.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 08, 2013 6:49 PM GMT
    osakarob saidThere are a LARGE number of threads devoted to some variation of this issue here on RJ. "How Can I Move to San Francisco...?" "Where can I find good careers in....?" Most of these usually at least have some general end-stage goal. (Ex. the individual wants to move to NY or LA because they are drawn - rightly or wrongly - to some fantasy image they have of that metro area. Or, the individual wants to move up into a career and is somehow hoping that other RJ members might provide key insights).

    Your question is far, far too vague. All I can tell is that you are a twenty-something in Cincinnati who is bored with his current life and where he lives and wants change.

    Before you posted this, did you review the older forums to see how people responded to other similar questions or did you just impulsively just post?

    If you just post boundless questions like this you will get nothing but subjective anecdotes from people about their lives without that information having any real meaningful relation to your own personal goals and aspirations.

    So here is a piece of advice. Instead of asking "Where should I go?", why not go down to your public library and take out some books related to cities or countries that you are interested in. Then read those books.

    Do the same for career-related books. Here's one that might even inspire you to do something completely different:
    What Should I Do With My Life: The True Story of People Who Answered the Ultimate Question by
    Po Bronson.

    I'm not so gently suggesting that you - and everyone else on RJ who wants advice on managing change in their lives - take the most important first steps on their own:Make an inventory of your needs. Do your research. Then start to network and ask questions from people who can really help you achieve those goals. There are a lot of very intelligent, experienced and generous guys on this site who will provide meaningful counsel when asked. But you gotta take some personal responsibility first and not just impulsively daydream.
    Does that make sense?



    Reading Po Bronson is good advice. I'll also second the advice on discovering the interests that excite you most and then let those interests guide you where to live.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 08, 2013 7:40 PM GMT
    Brazil.. Rio De Janeiro. The Marvelous City. Beauty as far as the eye can see and beyond. The people, the beaches, the music... Even the shanty town favelas scattered in the distance make for a beautiful landscape. Anyone who is educated can learn to make a good living here. As for the slim pickings where you are, there aren't just eligible men in Rio. There are eligible, attractive, homosexual men of all types of looks.. the gorgeous, beautiful, cute, handsome, and pretty.. with hearts of gold.. and loveable personalities. In Brazil, you will fall in love with one and become a "husband", or fall in lust with many and become a whore. If you learn Portuguese, you will almost always be able to find a job being able to speak Port and Eng. No, I am not a paid spokesperson. icon_smile.gif
  • ohioguy12

    Posts: 2024

    Dec 09, 2013 11:02 PM GMT
    Just move to Columbus. In-state tuition, decent job market, arms length from your friends and family, and plenty of gay men.
  • roadbikeRob

    Posts: 14345

    Dec 09, 2013 11:20 PM GMT
    ohioguy12 saidJust move to Columbus. In-state tuition, decent job market, arms length from your friends and family, and plenty of gay men.
    Columbus is a great city. If I cannot find a better paying job here in Buffalo, I might consider relocating to Columbus.
  • roadbikeRob

    Posts: 14345

    Dec 09, 2013 11:41 PM GMT
    Aristoshark said
    jmusmc85 said
    Aristoshark said
    roadbikeRob saidNiagara Falls is a shit hole and an urban disaster area combined into one. Most of that town is depressing, decrepit, and now dangerous because of all the drug gangs that have taken root after being driven out of almost everyplace else in Western New York.

    Really? That's sad; I was there as a kid and I remember it as being a nice little town. Not so touristy as the Canadian side, more residential and sort of pleasant. But this was around 1668 1968

    Fixed!icon_biggrin.gif

    I also got to visit the famous toxic waste dump jmusmc85's ass the Love Canal.
    Trust me on this one, Jmusmc85's ass is ten times more toxic than the Love Canal in Niagara Falls. You guys have a walking environmental disaster on your hands in South Florida.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 10, 2013 5:17 AM GMT
    ohioguy12 saidJust move to Columbus. In-state tuition, decent job market, arms length from your friends and family, and plenty of gay men.


    Buuutt....then you will have to live in....Columbus....icon_neutral.gif