How to get a guy to move beyond casual sex?

  • christastic

    Posts: 376

    Dec 08, 2013 8:32 AM GMT
    Ok, so I've been seeing this really hot guy about once a week for the last few weeks. Normally I never just hook-up, but we met each other through friends (built-in vetting process lol) so the same night he finally hit on me at a club, we spent the night together. We rationalized that since we hung out as friends several times already, that those times could be counted as the prerequisite dates leading to sex lol.

    But that's all we ever do, every Friday night. I'm not into clubbing in the first place, so the second week, I declined joining him there, thinking to either speed up the inevitability that he'll find someone hotter at the club, or that he'll come back to me at the end of the night anyway. He came back. And 2 more times since then.

    My friends told me to ask him out on a real date, but when I replied that the guy has already said he's not into being serious at this point, my friends said that I just need to take initiative to allow him to make himself vulnerable. Thoughts?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 08, 2013 7:43 PM GMT
    like you said... It's only been a few weeks..

    .. The truth here is.. getting serious about a guy that said he doesn't want to be.

    .. A date is always nice.. Proceed with caution..Just remember.. He doesn't wan't anything serious.

  • theonewhoknoc...

    Posts: 713

    Dec 08, 2013 8:37 PM GMT
    christastic saidI declined joining him there, thinking to either speed up the inevitability that he'll find someone hotter at the club, or that he'll come back to me at the end of the night anyway...


    Sounds like you're not too serious about keeping him either? If not, you choosing not to hang out with him outside the bedroom gives the impression that you only want the sex.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 08, 2013 11:23 PM GMT
    He's with you most Friday nights? Try asking him on Saturday morning if he wants to do (whatever you come up with) - You're already together. Start by going out for breakfast?

    Or just be content with your Friday night fuck.
  • christastic

    Posts: 376

    Dec 17, 2013 4:26 PM GMT
    theonewhoknocks said
    christastic saidI declined joining him there, thinking to either speed up the inevitability that he'll find someone hotter at the club, or that he'll come back to me at the end of the night anyway...


    Sounds like you're not too serious about keeping him either? If not, you choosing not to hang out with him outside the bedroom gives the impression that you only want the sex.


    He seems pretty assertive, so I think if he wants something serious he probably won't wait for me to take that initiative. Whereas I'm the exact opposite haha.

    But yeah, he's not my typical kind of guy (too gangster lol) so I'm worried its a lost cause...