Do you think it's worth dating guys in a city you're just visiting?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 10, 2013 12:48 AM GMT
    I put this specifically in travel section than the dating section, because I feel most people don't really travel much from home but maybe once in a blue moon or 2. And I'm not talking about just randomly meeting a guy and fucking and going to the next.

    But, let's just say you were visiting a city where you go often for work, maybe every couple months...or you were in a city long term for family/work/etc. but had no plans to ever actually move there. Is it worth it?

    It's like, I know you can't turn it into 'a relationship', but when you're visiting, I think some guys have the impression that they can just break all the rules. It's been only 2 or 3 guys over all the years traveling that guys have actually held on respect. It's like we may not be dating, but if you're going to meet someone from out of town...atleast be willing to play it right
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    Dec 10, 2013 10:09 AM GMT
    Well, my case is i'm down in Miami and met this guy 3 times since I been here. He's fun, but last weekend he killed it for me the other night. We already had the discussion that he's a flirt, yada yada. And that i'm only here for a couple Weeks.

    But he wanted to take that and use it as a free pass. He's all on Grindr, then meeting guys at the club and shit. Then he wasn't keeping or making plans 1 on 1.always had to be with his friends. I'm like hold the fuck up. If he's going to fucking do that shit...i'm not gonna waste another weekend of my visit on his ass again.

    I meet guys where we live in separate cities alot. Most have the decency to not be a total dirt bag. I was mad at myself even more because I could have met with another guy that night, but yet I wanted to just stick with someone familiar...and should have dropped him earlier that night.

    I kinda take responsibility for it..but I find all too often that's usually what has happened in the past with guys I was hanging with out of town. They don't wanna get attached, so they start doing stuff to make themselves not feel attached.
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    Dec 10, 2013 11:37 AM GMT
    No. They are only worth talking to for advice on things to do, or hookups if you like that.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    Dec 10, 2013 10:03 PM GMT
    Sure. You never know when lightning may strike. And who knows what will happen tomorrow. I dated a guy from across the country who was temporarily near me for two years of school and we've been partners now for six years, living together for four. If you find the right guy, you find a way to work it out. Why place so many barriers up for yourself in finding love?
  • roadbikeRob

    Posts: 14358

    Dec 10, 2013 11:11 PM GMT
    If you are planning on relocating to a particular city that you are currently visiting, it wouldn't hurt to date a guy or two and have an established connection when you move there. They could be of help to you as to where to go, where to live etc.
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    Dec 11, 2013 2:03 AM GMT
    Destinharbor said Why place so many barriers up for yourself in finding love?


    Well, I'm not saying I'm placing a barrier up. Like I said, I meet guys when I travel all the time. That's one of the perks of traveling, because it allows you access to guys you may not be able to find in your area.

    For example, In Miami there's plenty of Columbian/Cuban/Puerto Rican dick and ass all over and I've taken FULL advantage of the options. Whereas in most interior states of the U.S., you're limited in your diversity of men to choose from

    But...it almost kind of 'tells the ending' when you meet a guy elsewhere that you know you're not going to have a future with due to distance. I know sometimes it 'can' turn into something...but in 10 years of gay dating, I've only done 1 long distance relationship, but we lived together and he moved...and it ended about 6 months later.

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    Dec 11, 2013 5:05 AM GMT
    Yeah, I have gone on a few non-hook-up "dates" with visitors. At worst it's dinner, drinks, conversation. I've spent enough nights by myself in strange cities.
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    Dec 11, 2013 3:33 PM GMT
    No, doing these kind of dates or hookups, amplify feelings of being alone. I prefer to hang out with friends or look for something sustainable and not go on these one-off dates or dating someone for a limited amount of time. Plus if i'm visiting a city, i'm too busy doing stuff, to even care about this. However, this is something i've done in the past, but that made me realise that's not what I'm interested in. I'm also pretty asocial, that has something to do with it as well icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 11, 2013 3:39 PM GMT
    Destinharbor saidSure. You never know when lightning may strike. And who knows what will happen tomorrow. I dated a guy from across the country who was temporarily near me for two years of school and we've been partners now for six years, living together for four. If you find the right guy, you find a way to work it out. Why place so many barriers up for yourself in finding love?



    Exactly. You never know what acquaintance might become something much more. In my case, I met someone from here in Forums who lived about 3,000 miles away, back in '07. By 2010 things had progressed to the point to where he moved across the country to CA to be with me. So you never know - one of those guys you're meeting in FL might just become 'the one'.