Why are gays so mean?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 10, 2013 6:11 AM GMT
    Hi guys...I'm a 19 year old author and blogger from South Africa who's never been in a relationship and have resorted to Internet dating sites such as this one and this other one to help me find my first. I've exchanged pics with a few fellas and most of them have made very offensive remarks on my physical appearance. I have given up on my quest and what I wanted to know was why are gays so mean to each other? I mean we go through so much together and yet we attack each other. I'm not a very social person so I wouldn't know, I'd appreciate your input. No insults please. Enjoy your day guys!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 10, 2013 6:12 AM GMT
    Oh honey, I don't know who told you RJ is a nice place to meet friends, but you are in the wrong site.....icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 10, 2013 6:14 AM GMT
    It will only get worse, you have to be strong and be patient.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 10, 2013 6:22 AM GMT
    I wouldn't say we go through so much together. A good deal of the stress and turmoil we go through to accept our sexuality is done alone. For many, by the time we begin to interact with other gay men the damage is already done.

    Also consider that men are visual creatures, so looks can be a very big deal for some.

    Time to grow a thicker skin.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 10, 2013 6:25 AM GMT
    you may want to start a meet up group in your area for lgbt members in pretoria - http://www.meetup.com/find/. rj is not an ideal website for black members to find friends/dates.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 10, 2013 6:39 AM GMT
    We all go through similar struggles... I mean, my struggles and extremely deep, and often times put me through great stress...

    This past weekend I had the hardest times finding high tops to wear to the White Party. I must have went through 5 stores before I found something to wear. Then I had to eat dinner at an overpriced Mexican restaurant on Lincoln Road WITHOUT getting my white outfit dirty!!!

    I was with my friend on Thanksgiving and we decided to grab some yogurt after the movies. Well, the yogurt shop had soooo many flavors to choose from. We wanted to try a sample but La'Quiesha and Moesha would only give us 2 sample cups each. I ended up eating some pretty bland peach flavored shit. It was really disappointing!!!icon_cry.gif

    When I was at my $79 a month gym the other day, I wanted to use a machine but noticed this roided up muscle dude (I call him the Guido) who fucked me well over a year ago in the way. I didn't want to say hi to him so I had make a beeline in the opposite direction to use another machine that was NOT part of my routine. The horror!!!

    I'm also fucking a Miami Power Gay and had to walk a whole 5 blocks to his million dollar condo at night the other day. He didn't let me stay the night (the nerve!!!) so I had to do the walk of shame at night and almost ran into a homeless person....and he was black!!!! icon_eek.gif


    So you tell those African kids over there to stop their whining!!! They don't know how lucky they have it!!!icon_mad.gificon_mad.gificon_mad.gificon_mad.gificon_mad.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 10, 2013 6:39 AM GMT
    jmusmc85 saidOh honey, I don't know who told you RJ is a nice place to meet friends, but you are in the wrong site.....icon_lol.gif

    Oh you're so mean...he's just a poor gypsy, give him a break icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 10, 2013 8:17 AM GMT
    I have no idea why I'm single.icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 10, 2013 8:50 AM GMT
    Meeting guys online can be hit or miss. Mostly miss. It's too easy for guys to dismiss or ignore you for arbitrary reasons. But also consider that people in general tend to be insensitive on the internet. You'll see similar types of meanness on non-gay sites.

    You're young and you have plenty of time to meet people, and filter out the bad ones.

    So until someone invents the technology that let's you punch people in the face through the internet, people will continue to be cunts. icon_biggrin.gif

    23LKAbI.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 10, 2013 12:41 PM GMT
    lol it's not hard for someone to be ballsy behind a screen. .Good luck in your search for the right guy
  • Danskerb

    Posts: 286

    Dec 10, 2013 12:58 PM GMT
    unfounded7 saidI wouldn't say we go through so much together. A good deal of the stress and turmoil we go through to accept our sexuality is done alone. For many, by the time we begin to interact with other gay men the damage is already done.

    Also consider that men are visual creatures, so looks can be a very big deal for some.

    Time to grow a thicker skin.


    This is a great insight. I dont feel like Ive gone through anything with the gay population. For the most part I went through it alone and with the support of my family and straight friends.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 10, 2013 1:46 PM GMT
    Unfortunately, a lot of gays are mean, very!!! Finding support isn't easy but don't let a few Negative Neds shoot you down. Keep on chugging along and be strong, my friend. NOT EVERY guy is going to be mean.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 10, 2013 2:16 PM GMT
    MrBlogger saidHi guys...I'm a 19 year old author and blogger from South Africa who's never been in a relationship and have resorted to Internet dating sites such as this one and this other one to help me find my first. I've exchanged pics with a few fellas and most of them have made very offensive remarks on my physical appearance. I have given up on my quest and what I wanted to know was why are gays so mean to each other? I mean we go through so much together and yet we attack each other. I'm not a very social person so I wouldn't know, I'd appreciate your input. No insults please. Enjoy your day guys!!

    I never used gay dating sites. Most are meat stores, where guys feel free to be rude about turning down the merchandise they don't want, like they might in other kinds of stores.

    Instead I've used gay social sites, and just for the online friendship. I'd never say or imply I was there to hook-up. Hence I could be judged on my opinions, experiences & accomplishments, rather than my looks, age, income, and dating potential.

    BUT, in developing friendships over time, a pleasure in itself, some guy & me could begin to find a romantic interest, as well. And then eventually meet IRL. That's how I met both my late and current partners.

    So you might want to stay active online. Just maybe not invest too much time in gay dating & hookup sites, and expect too much.

    And be aware that gays can also be mean in person, it isn't confined to online. We didn't earn our time-honored reputation for being catty bitches for nothing!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 10, 2013 3:20 PM GMT
    MikkyB saidUnfortunately, a lot of gays are mean, very!!! Finding support isn't easy but don't let a few Negative Neds shoot you down. Keep on chugging along and be strong, my friend. NOT EVERY guy is going to be mean.

    This. Plus, meet in person, people hiding behind computer screens are a lot more mean than someone sitting across from you for a coffee.
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Dec 10, 2013 3:30 PM GMT
    I often wondered the same thing, especially when I was your age. Many are obviously wounded and damaged human beings.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 10, 2013 4:10 PM GMT
    MikeW saidI often wondered the same thing, especially when I was your age. Many are obviously wounded and damaged human beings.


    Yep. This. And it's self curable, but too many get too comfortable in it (meanness).



  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 10, 2013 4:14 PM GMT
    Sometimes young "asexual" gay (and straight) guys get used to not being judged on their appearance, but it only lasts until they start attempting to date/flirt. Straight people say some awful things to each other. The truth is that (just for example) a morbidly obese person will struggle to find anybody to date at all, even after a few years of trying.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 10, 2013 4:16 PM GMT
    One thing i noticed when i came out and entered the gay community was there was an overwhelming of meanness in the community. As for myself I'm respectful to those who are respectful to me.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 10, 2013 4:27 PM GMT
    The meanness is there. Why? I don't know.
    What puzzles me even more is why so much of it comes off like elementary school smack talk.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Dec 10, 2013 7:44 PM GMT
    JohnSpotter saidThe meanness is there. Why? I don't know.
    What puzzles me even more is why so much of it comes off like elementary school smack talk.

    Well, meanness is juvenile to begin with. Also, I think gay cliques often feel like they're playing catch up. All that repressed teenage angst, combined with the desire to fit in, is coming out later in life.
  • JFMAD

    Posts: 45

    Dec 10, 2013 9:53 PM GMT
    It's a defense mechanism. Someone hurt their feelings once and they let it consume them. They lose their civility, morals, and ethics. I have been out for about 10 years now. Most of my friends are straight. When I do mingle with our fellow gays I see this more and more. It's also mob mentality. The people who fall into that category think they are being accepted and will behave by example; they think having multiple partners and knowing everyone is appealing. Some people just never left high school. If someone is rude, mean, or just an all out asshole. Leave them be, move on; they will eventually crash and burn. If you know what's right and you have good heart, then your probably doing a lot better than a lot of other gay men. You don't need everyone's approval. Misery loves company. More than likely you have something they will never have.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 10, 2013 11:44 PM GMT
    jmusmc85 saidOh honey, I don't know who told you RJ is a nice place to meet friends, but you are in the wrong site.....icon_lol.gif


    Oh please, you're the biggest softie on here. You welcomed me with open arms...and legs icon_razz.gif
  • roadbikeRob

    Posts: 14395

    Dec 11, 2013 12:15 AM GMT
    jmusmc85 saidI have no idea why I'm single.icon_biggrin.gif
    All you have to do is take a good look in the mirror and see a steroid addict and then you will know why you are single and lonely for lifeicon_wink.gif
  • roadbikeRob

    Posts: 14395

    Dec 11, 2013 12:17 AM GMT
    Jaggal saidWell, stop talking to gay twinky bitches...

    Also, I generally date very down to earth guys so I don't have any issues. High maintenance is a red flag for me, to be honest.
    High maintenance as in Jmusmc85icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 11, 2013 3:54 AM GMT
    roadbikeRob said
    jmusmc85 saidI have no idea why I'm single.icon_biggrin.gif
    All you have to do is take a good look in the mirror and see a steroid addict and then you will know why you are single and lonely for lifeicon_wink.gif


    OMG I used it for ONE cycle way back in March and even then it wasn't that much!!! Jesus Fuckin Christ!!!

    Maybe if you took a few cycle you could graduate from being a 2 to a 2.5. At this rate I think Pazzy has a better chance of findning true love than you do...icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gif