Why are most guys the same?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 13, 2013 9:45 AM GMT
    Honestly it seems like it. In all my dating experience all they want is the D or A. I've met a guy 2 months ago and everything seem great and promising and he told me he's looking for more and after we were intimate he dumps me. Met another guy, went on 2 dates and at the end of our date he told me he's "ready for a relationship and is just looking for fun" speech. It seems like all the good guys are taken or married. And I've tried looking everywhere(you name it) and just when I think I find my Prince, he turns out to be a toad sigh. I feel like giving up on men, because I haven't found any guy who's proven me wrong. I would really appreciate some advice here I'm just about to throw in the towel.
  • Apparition

    Posts: 3525

    Dec 13, 2013 10:36 AM GMT
    try asking before the date. it works.
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    Dec 13, 2013 9:31 PM GMT
    Not all guys are the same, just the ones you hook up with. Stop generalizing, you make stupid choices and want the world to agree. Buy a mirror.
  • mybud

    Posts: 11837

    Dec 13, 2013 10:11 PM GMT
    Have a little self respect and get to know a guy before dropping your pants for him. If you give it up quickly, he sizes ya up as doing the same for others.
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    Dec 13, 2013 10:49 PM GMT
    If y'all were "dating" (or getting to know each other) and he dumps you after y'all fuck, you must just be bad in bed and he can't imagine dating someone like that. No gay guys has to go through the trouble of leading a guy on just for sex when there are hundreds of twinks looking to drop their pants for anyone and everyone.
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    Dec 14, 2013 2:13 AM GMT
    Ascension saidAnd I've tried looking everywhere(you name it) and just when I think I find my Prince, he turns out to be a toad


    You have to kiss a lot of frogs (avoid toads) before you meet an actual prince.
  • blueandgold

    Posts: 396

    Dec 14, 2013 2:40 AM GMT
    Take a deep breath, man. Relax. Don't put too much investment in someone until you're sure its mutual.... and that its been discussed. Put on your big boy communication pants and find out what someone's looking for early on.

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    Dec 14, 2013 2:40 AM GMT
    blueandgold saidTake a deep breath, man. Relax. Don't put too much investment in someone until you're sure its mutual.... and that its been discussed. Put on your big boy communication pants and find out what someone's looking for early on.



    When you think it's mutual then bam! They turn around and dump you. sigh...
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    Dec 14, 2013 8:39 AM GMT
    smartmoney saidNot all guys are the same, just the ones you hook up with. Stop generalizing, you make stupid choices and want the world to agree. Buy a mirror.


    I'm well aware that not all guys are the same, that's why I've said most.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 14, 2013 8:40 AM GMT
    mybud saidHave a little self respect and get to know a guy before dropping your pants for him. If you give it up quickly, he sizes ya up as doing the same for others.

    Actually I do, but I thought he was genuine.. But obviously not
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 14, 2013 8:42 AM GMT
    Apparition saidtry asking before the date. it works.


    I always do that and they say they are looking did the same. I seem to attract liars and players like a magnet :/
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 14, 2013 8:44 AM GMT
    Because most men lack creativity and uniqueness
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    Dec 14, 2013 8:45 AM GMT
    Aggieboy said
    blueandgold saidTake a deep breath, man. Relax. Don't put too much investment in someone until you're sure its mutual.... and that its been discussed. Put on your big boy communication pants and find out what someone's looking for early on.



    When you think it's mutual then bam! They turn around and dump you. sigh...



    I've never thought about this, thanks Aggieboy for your insight. He was well endowed and it wasn't easy to take it, big I eventually did. Yeah so true, I think I'm going to get "love sucks" tattooed on my forehead lol
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Dec 14, 2013 9:25 AM GMT
    well if you believe there are no good men then that's exactly what you will find. if you keep a open mind and a open heart than trust me things will happen. its a numbers game buddy you have to keep yourself out there find the type of guys you want. if you are going to bars and clubs than it is less likely you will find a guy who is seriously looking for a relationship. anyhow, good luck with your search buddy.
  • Puppymuncher

    Posts: 163

    Dec 14, 2013 5:01 PM GMT
    Why are you looking for all the same guys?
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    Dec 14, 2013 5:04 PM GMT
    I am in the exact same boat as you. I completely understand what you are going through. I either get dumped for someone "better" or just used. I might have actually found someone different though. So far it seems that way. You would be surprised how many guys are not like that. I posted a forum here a few days ago kinda on the same thing, and on my profile and I have gotten multiple messages about my profile. I have learned not to stress about it. It will happen when the time is right.
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    Dec 14, 2013 5:08 PM GMT
    Puppymuncher saidWhy are you looking for all the same guys?


    I was just thinking this !
  • majin223

    Posts: 11

    Dec 14, 2013 5:35 PM GMT
    Ascension saidHonestly it seems like it. In all my dating experience all they want is the D or A. I've met a guy 2 months ago and everything seem great and promising and he told me he's looking for more and after we were intimate he dumps me. Met another guy, went on 2 dates and at the end of our date he told me he's "ready for a relationship and is just looking for fun" speech. It seems like all the good guys are taken or married. And I've tried looking everywhere(you name it) and just when I think I find my Prince, he turns out to be a toad sigh. I feel like giving up on men, because I haven't found any guy who's proven me wrong. I would really appreciate some advice here I'm just about to throw in the towel.


    I wouldn't let those guys get to you , try not to just drop your pants for every guy.. im not saying you do or anything , just get to know them and let them know you

    I know you must feel abit used , going on those 2 dates then getting with him , then him leaving you... not all guys are like that , your just having bad luck but don't worry you will find the prince soon and it will be all worth it icon_smile.gif

    happy hunting!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 16, 2013 4:52 AM GMT
    Thanks everyone for your insight. I'm just going to take it easy and not stressed about it more lol. It just isn't my time yet.
  • shutoman

    Posts: 505

    Dec 16, 2013 2:35 PM GMT
    I think you've hit it, Ascension. You're, young, fit and, by the looks of it, hot too. You will meet more guys and you, and they, will settle into more lasting relationships. Meanwhile, do not compromise on your safety and protection (anyone who insists on BB is to be avoided) and keep looking. My suspicion is that some lucky guy is going to find you - but you may have to travel!
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    Dec 16, 2013 3:35 PM GMT
    whateveryo said
    Puppymuncher saidWhy are you looking for all the same guys?


    I was just thinking this !



    This. And don't date guys that just want to fuck. You really just need to ask but you also need to date all over the place to find one.
  • zalcland

    Posts: 51

    Dec 16, 2013 4:46 PM GMT
    Hes not worth your time then. There will always be other handsome guys. Ive had this happen to me too recently. Stop worrying about finding Mr. Right. It will happen in time.
  • BlackRussian1...

    Posts: 323

    Dec 16, 2013 4:54 PM GMT
    Maybe you should fuck them first and let things move organically where they want to (i.e. it may or may not turn into something). Then again, playing the "it's not me it's them" role may be a part of it...not enough info here to say really.

    I feel for single gay men who are looking, I really do, because in the age of Grindr apps men think there's someone "better" who may come along (not realizing better is relative) meanwhile they miss out on a prize right in front of them. Sure we in theory have more access to more gay people but I'm not sure we're making more connections. 2c
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 16, 2013 5:05 PM GMT
    Not all the good mens are gone...cuz you are one of does good mens. I havent get a boyfriend before, and it seems that the guys i like, they are FAR away, they are maried, are straight, or just want to have fun. And the one who likes me, they are fat, but i mean FAT like big pigs, I wish they were good bears but no...-.- and fat and ugly, god...Well, no love for me too. thats why i started to make good friends i can hug. icon_neutral.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 16, 2013 5:20 PM GMT
    Ascension saidHonestly it seems like it. In all my dating experience all they want is the D or A. I've met a guy 2 months ago and everything seem great and promising and he told me he's looking for more and after we were intimate he dumps me. Met another guy, went on 2 dates and at the end of our date he told me he's "ready for a relationship and is just looking for fun" speech. It seems like all the good guys are taken or married. And I've tried looking everywhere(you name it) and just when I think I find my Prince, he turns out to be a toad sigh. I feel like giving up on men, because I haven't found any guy who's proven me wrong. I would really appreciate some advice here I'm just about to throw in the towel.

    OK…wait….you posted that you're in the closet and so I'm confused.

    You want a guy that not just looking to get laid but instead wanting to date you with the understanding that he can't tell anyone, can't be seen in public with you, can't meet your family, can't meet your friends….yeah….take the D or A and be happy.

    When you come out and drop the yoke around your neck, then you'll be in a better position to start looking for a guy to be in a relationship with.