How Do You Know If You Are Falling in Love?

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    Dec 09, 2008 3:46 PM GMT
    Not a crush, but a steady building of caring, lust, and fun is developing between me and a guy I've been dating for 3 months. I've been dating other guys too (mutual understanding).

    And for whatever reason, what if you DON'T want to fall in love? Intelectually, I say to myself it won't fit my lifestyle. I'm not looking. Don't want the hassle and responsibility.

    Can you ignore love? Stop seeing the guy? Get a brain transplant?

    Emotionally, I've never met someone like him. We also understand each other on many issues and play by our own rules. I love his laugh plus he smells nice when he sweats.

    Should i just let my hair down and go for the challenge and see what happens? I think I just made my decision.

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    Dec 09, 2008 4:30 PM GMT


    Yep.
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    Dec 09, 2008 4:35 PM GMT
    I wish there was one simple answer to this question, but it really depends on your personality. I am definitely not the "lightning strikes" kind of guy. More the "getting comfortable and feel a gradual warm and fuzzies" kind of person.
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    Dec 09, 2008 5:32 PM GMT
    When it happens you just know, you know...

    And if you don't know, then it didn't happen. It's not something on which others can reliably advise you; it's your heart, not theirs.

    When it happens at the wrong moment, however, that's a dilemma. Can you make room for love in your life right now, or should you take the chance that love will call again on some other more convenient day?

    That, too, no one here can tell you. Sometimes you gotta go with your gut instincts, close your eyes and fling yourself off the cliff, and hope someone down below will catch you.

    It's worked for me, more times than I deserve.
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    Dec 09, 2008 6:29 PM GMT
    I think you know when maximising their happiness and putting their needs above your own become your sense of purpose, and bring you joy. That's when I knew. Quite a revelation to know that I wasn't the most important person in my life. icon_eek.gificon_cool.gif
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    Dec 09, 2008 7:39 PM GMT
    your in love when you ask your self "am I in love" and every fiber of your being screams yes.

    Then you stand there stunned like you've been slapped across the face with a dead fish... then you get this completely dorky smile on your face that you can't remove and you go about your day with it.. or at least thats how it was for me.
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    Dec 09, 2008 7:57 PM GMT
    lilTanker saidThen you stand there stunned like you've been slapped across the face with a dead fish...


    OMG! You mean that the Monty Python Fish-Slapping Dance was about falling in love? I had no idea romance had to be so soggy.
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    Dec 09, 2008 8:54 PM GMT
    Red_Vespa said
    lilTanker saidThen you stand there stunned like you've been slapped across the face with a dead fish...


    OMG! You mean that the Monty Python Fish-Slapping Dance was about falling in love? I had no idea romance had to be so soggy.


    Didn't ya know, its not romance unless its cold and wet ;)
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    Dec 09, 2008 9:39 PM GMT
    Check your credit card statement.
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    Dec 09, 2008 9:43 PM GMT
    lilTanker saidDidn't ya know, its not romance unless its cold and wet ;)


    COLD & wet? I would have guessed hot & wet -- who knew?
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    Dec 09, 2008 10:17 PM GMT
    lilTanker saidyour in love when you ask your self "am I in love" and every fiber of your being screams yes.

    Then you stand there stunned like you've been slapped across the face with a dead fish... then you get this completely dorky smile on your face that you can't remove and you go about your day with it.. or at least thats how it was for me.


    UH OH....I think your right. That slap with a dead fish....the dorky smile.
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    Dec 09, 2008 10:18 PM GMT
    seanp7 saidI think you know when maximising their happiness and putting their needs above your own become your sense of purpose, and bring you joy. That's when I knew. Quite a revelation to know that I wasn't the most important person in my life. icon_eek.gificon_cool.gif


    Yep, I've been maximizing his happiness because want too. Helping him with practical everyday things as well as talking emotionally etc. He has done the same for me.
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    Dec 09, 2008 10:20 PM GMT
    ursamajor saidCheck your credit card statement.


    I did. And there are quite a few charges that I made with him.....for us. Mmmmmm.
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    Dec 09, 2008 10:22 PM GMT
    SurrealLife saidI wish there was one simple answer to this question, but it really depends on your personality. I am definitely not the "lightning strikes" kind of guy. More the "getting comfortable and feel a gradual warm and fuzzies" kind of person.


    Yeah...It has been gradual feeling of fuzzies....and I've never felt obsessed or forced to say or do anything to continue seeing him.........Yikes.
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    Dec 09, 2008 10:38 PM GMT
    If you have to ask then you aren't in love. lol
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    Dec 09, 2008 10:59 PM GMT
    Red_Vespa said
    lilTanker saidDidn't ya know, its not romance unless its cold and wet ;)


    COLD & wet? I would have guessed hot & wet -- who knew?


    well I tend to be cold and wet in the end...
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    Dec 09, 2008 11:02 PM GMT
    Go for it lilTanker! It doesn't happen that often and it doesnt always work out, but it definitely worth trying for it. Besides, you can always slap that cold dead fish on the barbie and have a romantic dinner for two!
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    Dec 09, 2008 11:16 PM GMT
    My personal opinion is, that falling in love just happens, common sense, rational thinking or education can't stop it, if it's bound to happen. But then again, I'm a romantic.....fallen in love so deep, I don't have a chance to ignore it, no matter what. AND even if given a chance to change my love for my Appalacchian man, I would NOT take it. Amor vincit Omnia! Tomi and Joshie, sitting in a tree....icon_wink.gificon_biggrin.gif
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    Dec 10, 2008 12:46 AM GMT
    The smelling nice when he sweats is a big clue.
    Do you have olfactory recall of that smell throughout the day to imagne him still with you?
    -wishing you could merge with every cell and fiber of his being?
    -Friends or coworkers see your beaming from the inside out?
    Oh, how we could go on...
    Congrats!
    You said you two play by your own rules, so create & self define what you want it to be; to something that DOES fit your lifestyle.. -Doesn't have to be the relationship that you think of which makes you NOT want to be in love.
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    Dec 10, 2008 1:21 AM GMT
    I'm sorry sorry but I couldn't resisticon_lol.gif

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    Dec 10, 2008 1:24 AM GMT
    12 years ago, I didnt want another relationship, only wanted to fuck around and have fun. Heard about this guy from my friend who seemed to be hot in bed and good looking. Well started hooking up w/ this guy and he kept telling me "we are going to be together for the rest of our lives" well, as the summer wore on, I did fall in love with him and now we are a happy married couple. No matter what I tired to do to not love him didnt work.
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    Dec 10, 2008 1:58 PM GMT
    KissingPro saidNot a crush, but a steady building of caring, lust, and fun is developing between me and a guy I've been dating for 3 months. I've been dating other guys too (mutual understanding).

    And for whatever reason, what if you DON'T want to fall in love? Intelectually, I say to myself it won't fit my lifestyle. I'm not looking. Don't want the hassle and responsibility.

    Can you ignore love? Stop seeing the guy? Get a brain transplant?

    Emotionally, I've never met someone like him. We also understand each other on many issues and play by our own rules. I love his laugh plus he smells nice when he sweats.

    Should i just let my hair down and go for the challenge and see what happens? I think I just made my decision.



    and why don't you stop seeing other guys, change your lifestyle, take on the hassle and the responsability? i'm not sure you'd find anything more exciting, thrilling and fulfilling than this...i'd happily take the plunge icon_smile.gif
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    Dec 10, 2008 3:01 PM GMT
    When you're aware of every annoying thing that he does that still bothers you and yet you still want to be with him.

    When you know ALL of his deep dark secrets and weaknesses he knows all of your's too, and you still want to stay with him.

    That's a fairly good indicator.
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    Dec 10, 2008 3:08 PM GMT
    When you look into his eyes and you see him smile and your heart skips a beat and you just know that the feeling is real. Then you slap him and say "How DARE you make me feel this way".
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    Dec 10, 2008 3:13 PM GMT
    JockSnack2008 saidWhen you look into his eyes and you see him smile and your heart skips a beat and you just know that the feeling is real. Then you slap him and say "How DARE you make me feel this way".


    Could not have been said any better...