Skyping with the guy's family after hooking up

  • whytehot

    Posts: 1166

    Dec 16, 2013 7:36 AM GMT
    So I met a guy a couple months ago through a friend, but didn't get any vibes from him until last week at a club. We hooked up the same night. The guy seems really close with his family and friends back in Albania as he is constantly on the phone with them, even while we're in bed together.

    This weekend, we were at it again, and the next morning while still in bed he phones his family and friends again (it's a very close-knit Albanian town), so I kept silent. I don't understand Albanian, but I heard my name a couple times, and within a minute, he turns on the video cam and introduces me to his mom and aunt, then his dad. They were really nice and joked around, while completely ignoring the fact that we were still spooning in our underwear. And as if to make sure there was no way his family could misread the situation as something more innocent, he gives me a kiss on the lips right on camera before continuing on chatting with them. At this point he had already introduced me to some of his friends on other videocalls.

    My mind is blown. Granted his family is very young (guy is 20, his parents are 40) Cultural thing?

    edit: This isn't an issue of commitment or personal space... I'd love to be that close to someone I plan on having a LTR with. Except that this guy isn't looking for that; he even said, after our first hookup, that he doesn't want anything serious at this point in his life. I'm just perplexed why he would introduce to his family and friends someone who might probably be replaced within a month or even before next week.
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    Dec 16, 2013 9:12 AM GMT
    Sounds like a sweet guy with a nice family. What's the problem? icon_confused.gif
  • kiwi_nomad

    Posts: 316

    Dec 16, 2013 7:47 PM GMT
    my ex did that after a month.. he is real close to his family about *everything* which I really respect and wish I could be the same with my family. Anyway within a few weeks of us dating he told his parents about me which was cool, but one morning while we were laying in bed he took a skype call from his parents so I just stayed off to the side a bit and kept quiet.. ya know it was his family time and I didn't want to get involved. Anyway his mum cracks a joke about me (he and his parents are Australian.. I'm a NZer and to Australians we supposedly fuck sheep) and I couldn't help but laugh out loud.. so then he points the camera at me and that was my formal introduction to his parents... naked in bed with him.
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    Dec 16, 2013 8:00 PM GMT
    That would definitely have weirded me out. I assume it is a cultural thing, and I wouldn't have hated him for it or anything but it would be awkward enough to cause him to lose points. I don't want my parents to know the intimate details of my life.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Dec 16, 2013 8:04 PM GMT
    jmusmc85 saidSounds like a sweet guy with a nice family. What's the problem? icon_confused.gif

    This

    I'm guessing the OP just feels it's too soon and it makes him feel pressured to commit.
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    Dec 16, 2013 8:12 PM GMT
    Also I would add that you should make it known to him that it's a bit uncomfortable for you so that you guys can talk it over.
  • whytehot

    Posts: 1166

    Dec 17, 2013 12:43 AM GMT
    This isn't an issue of commitment or personal space... I'd love to be that close to someone I plan on having a LTR with. Except that this guy isn't looking for that; he even said, after our first hookup, that he doesn't want anything serious at this point in his life. I'm just perplexed why he would introduce to his family and friends someone who might probably be replaced within a month or even before next week.
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    Dec 17, 2013 1:25 AM GMT
    Um I think it's very awkward.

    Once, I dated a guy like twice and his mom added me on facebook.
    Weird...
    Especially when I was about to dump him.
  • whytehot

    Posts: 1166

    Dec 20, 2013 2:08 AM GMT
    We have one weekend together before I leave the country on holiday, and there's a good chance his attention span isn't long enough to last 3 weeks, and then he'll have to introduce a new FWB to his unbelievably patient parents...
  • whytehot

    Posts: 1166

    Jan 02, 2014 4:47 AM GMT
    So I was wrong, and in fact he was actually upset that I haven't told my friends that we are dating, since he had already introduced me to his friends and family. When he had previously asked me "do your friends know?" I had mistakenly interpreted it as him wanting to keep his options open by not wanting them to know.
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    Jan 02, 2014 6:39 AM GMT
    whytehot saidWe have one weekend together before I leave the country on holiday, and there's a good chance his attention span isn't long enough to last 3 weeks, and then he'll have to introduce a new FWB to his unbelievably patient parents...


    Wow, if you feel that way about him why are you even asking anyone about this? I'd hate to be him right now.

    ...maybe he likes his folks to be friends with his friends, whether it leads to romance or not.
  • whytehot

    Posts: 1166

    Jan 08, 2014 3:57 AM GMT
    Well it's not hard to be jaded when guys are constantly "making friends" online while having boyfriends, or having open relationships. In any case, I assumed incorrectly of this guy.
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    Jan 08, 2014 4:01 AM GMT
    jmusmc85 saidSounds like a sweet guy with a nice family. What's the problem? icon_confused.gif


    This!