Dealing with people you care about who are "hard to please"....

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    Dec 16, 2013 3:46 PM GMT
    Sure, it's easy to write off people we don't really care about. But what about the people who are good friends, close family members or potential partners who are constantly telling you that they "don't like" or "can't do" things whether it be food, types of movies or interests? Like you want to do things with them but their band of "I like" is narrow to the point that it limits what you can do together. Or maybe that they focus so much on the negative that it clouds their perception. Thoughts?

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    Dec 16, 2013 3:57 PM GMT
    Don't get me started.
    I care for and love my mother but she can be an... how can I say it... abusive bitch.
    As you say, everything has to be her way or there's a problem.
    I live next door to her and go in to have coffee and check on her most mornings.
    Before I have my first sip of coffee, she manages to cover about 20 subjects that are upsetting her. No matter how many people tell her she concentrates way too much on the negative, she only takes it as people picking on her.

    Here's a classic example of what I have to put up with.

    Mom: No one in this family respects me.
    Me : That's not true, Mom. We all respect you.
    Mom: There you go again! Contradicting me!

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    Dec 16, 2013 4:07 PM GMT
    My response is generally along the lines of:
    "You don't want? Would you rather have nothing?"
    "You don't like? Would you rather have nothing?"
    "You don't want to do? Ok, I'll see you later and maybe we can do something else next time."

    I don't have really any hard to please "friends". High maintenance is a bore.
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    Dec 16, 2013 4:33 PM GMT
    JohnSpotter said

    Here's a classic example of what I have to put up with.

    Mom: No one in this family respects me.
    Me : That's not true, Mom. We all respect you.
    Mom: There you go again! Contradicting me!



    For your Mom:

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    Dec 16, 2013 4:35 PM GMT

    High maintenance people; I think most of us have a few in our lives.
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    Dec 16, 2013 6:17 PM GMT
    meninlove said
    High maintenance people; I think most of us have a few in our lives.


    Sure. We all have to realize that we ourselves are also not perfect, and that others are already overlooking things about us that they don't really like. In other words, we must accept others for who they are, just as they accept us for who we are. If things get extreme, then it wasn't meant to be, or you'll just have to keep a distance for a while. It's something I think about all the time.
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    Dec 20, 2013 2:02 AM GMT
    Blakes7 said
    meninlove said
    High maintenance people; I think most of us have a few in our lives.


    Sure. We all have to realize that we ourselves are also not perfect, and that others are already overlooking things about us that they don't really like. In other words, we must accept others for who they are, just as they accept us for who we are. If things get extreme, then it wasn't meant to be, or you'll just have to keep a distance for a while. It's something I think about all the time.
    .

    Agree but it sure gets hard sometimes. I believe that happiness is a choice.
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    Dec 20, 2013 4:13 AM GMT
    Myol said
    Blakes7 said
    meninlove said
    High maintenance people; I think most of us have a few in our lives.


    Sure. We all have to realize that we ourselves are also not perfect, and that others are already overlooking things about us that they don't really like. In other words, we must accept others for who they are, just as they accept us for who we are. If things get extreme, then it wasn't meant to be, or you'll just have to keep a distance for a while. It's something I think about all the time.
    .

    Agree but it sure gets hard sometimes. I believe that happiness is a choice.

    I think that if happiness was a choice, the converse (sadness, apathy, etc.) wouldn't exist. That is, if you subscribe to the notion that happiness even exists in the first place.

    Like I often explain to people... I don't believe there is happiness. However, I believe there are short-lived, splintered bursts of joy or ecstacy... all of which are responses to our environment.