CATFISHING AT IT'S FINEST

  • asapfusion

    Posts: 9

    Dec 16, 2013 6:59 PM GMT
    I met this dude online and we texted almost everyday since October. We got pretty close and got to know each other pretty well, or so I thought. I always knew something was up and I should have listened to my gut when I thought something was wrong. Yesterday, he told me that all the pictures he sent me, his job, his name, everything, all a lie. He said he was 250lbs and the dude in the pictures was just what I was looking for in a guy, built. In reality, he weighed 140lbs... When I asked him why he did it, he said "I wanted to see if you were a tool or just like an other douche bag out there just looking for sex." I asked him how it felt when he realized that I'm not a tool or a douche looking for sex. I don't know about anyone else but the fact that this dude lied to me for two straight months about almost everything, it sucked.
    Has this ever happened to anyone? Would you ever do this to anyone? Should I feel like a complete idiot? Because I sort of do.
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    Dec 16, 2013 7:06 PM GMT
    The first guy I ever even thought about dating was online. Looked too good to be true and it turns out he was. Him and his "boyfriend" who I got to know both just disappeared one day. Whether he was 250+ lbs, a woman, or whoever, they were one of the first people I ever mentally connected with.


    Catfish or not, they're still people, yet the deception isn't tolerable. I cut my losses really soon after that and didn't even search for them.
  • asapfusion

    Posts: 9

    Dec 16, 2013 7:08 PM GMT
    The worst part was not even knowing what about him was the truth and what was a lie. He pretending to be other people and act as his 'friends' would be texting me. I don't think I would ever have it in me to treat someone like that.
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    Dec 16, 2013 7:11 PM GMT
    About half a year ago, I was planning a big romance with someone who posts infrequently to this group. He even got motd once.
    He said he was on a business trip in Europe and we'd get together when he got back.
    Something always felt fishy though. He sent me loads of pictures, even a couple of videos, but nothing was ever anything he was actually doing at the time.
    When I confronted him mildly about his pictures, he mocked me for falling in love with a photo and never wrote again.

    I really thought I found a good match and it took me months to get over it.
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    Dec 16, 2013 7:12 PM GMT
    Nope. I assume everyone is fake until proven otherwise. icon_wink.gif
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    Dec 16, 2013 7:13 PM GMT
    xrichx saidNope. I assume everyone is fake until proven otherwise. icon_wink.gif

    Now... that's what needs to happen.
  • asapfusion

    Posts: 9

    Dec 16, 2013 7:14 PM GMT
    xrichx saidNope. I assume everyone is fake until proven otherwise. icon_wink.gif


    Good idea, I should try it lmao
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    Dec 16, 2013 7:17 PM GMT
    asapfusion saidThe worst part was not even knowing what about him was the truth and what was a lie. He pretending to be other people and act as his 'friends' would be texting me. I don't think I would ever have it in me to treat someone like that.


    Enough about him was a lie that he is not worth any more of your time.

    To answer the question, yes it has happened to me twice and in fact I think it is happening at the moment. Very good looking guy, additional photos don't have his face in, has pulled out of meeting two times. I am just ignoring him now.

    One way you can get them to prove it is you can ask them to send a very specific photo e.g. holding a wooden spoon. They can't fake something like that!
  • asapfusion

    Posts: 9

    Dec 16, 2013 7:20 PM GMT
    Ohno said
    asapfusion saidThe worst part was not even knowing what about him was the truth and what was a lie. He pretending to be other people and act as his 'friends' would be texting me. I don't think I would ever have it in me to treat someone like that.


    Enough about him was a lie that he is not worth any more of your time.

    To answer the question, yes it has happened to me twice and in fact I think it is happening at the moment. Very good looking guy, additional photos don't have his face in, has pulled out of meeting two times. I am just ignoring him now.

    One way you can get them to prove it is you can ask them to send a very specific photo e.g. holding a wooden spoon. They can't fake something like that!


    True! I'll have to use that.
    Dude, don't let it happen to yourself again. Stop it before it ends horribly because you and I both know it sucks to be lied to like that.
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    Dec 16, 2013 7:25 PM GMT
    Spotting a fake is really easy now.
    Pictures can be searched up online. Asking for photo verification, multiple photos, and maybe one of them "at that moment" doing something you ask them to do just to make damn sure.
    If information isn't adding up, ask about it. If it still doesn't make sense then it's probably fraudulent.
    Constant blurry photos, or always professionally done... no-go's.

    And those are just tell-tale.
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    Dec 16, 2013 7:28 PM GMT
    woodsmen saidIf someone refuses to send recent pictures of himself because he isn't in the shape he was should one be worried that this is catfished?

    Yes.
    Yes you should.
  • asapfusion

    Posts: 9

    Dec 16, 2013 7:29 PM GMT
    TrevorMark saidSpotting a fake is really easy now.
    Pictures can be searched up online. Asking for photo verification, multiple photos, and maybe one of them "at that moment" doing something you ask them to do just to make damn sure.
    If information isn't adding up, ask about it. If it still doesn't make sense then it's probably fraudulent.
    Constant blurry photos, or always professionally done... no-go's.

    And those are just tell-tale.


    You would think I would know that. But something else takes over and ignores all of those signs and I got fucked. I need to be more aware of that shit haha
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    Dec 16, 2013 7:33 PM GMT
    asapfusion said
    You would think I would know that. But something else takes over and ignores all of those signs and I got fucked. I need to be more aware of that shit haha

    We all make those mistakes at first.
    Just at first.

    After a couple months of being in the dating game, it's no longer applicable. Hahaha.
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    Dec 16, 2013 7:34 PM GMT
    There's kind of a balance. If you ask for too many pics or ask him to send specific pics, then you might scare away a legit guy. One guy kept asking me for pics. I got annoyed and thought he was just a pic collector. It's not like I'm hot or anything. icon_lol.gif

    Another thing you can do is ask him to get on cam. Like Skype or Google Hangout or Apple Facetime or Kik. He might think you want cybersex. But just explain your intentions and that you just want to video chat for a quick minute or two. Then you'll both know that you're each legit.
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    Dec 16, 2013 7:38 PM GMT
    Aristoshark said
    xrichx saidNope. I assume everyone is fake until proven otherwise. icon_wink.gif

    Bah. You've seen me in the Googly.
    Actually, I missed that time when you showed your face. So I'm still under the assumption that you're a shark. icon_wink.gif
  • Muscles25

    Posts: 394

    Dec 16, 2013 7:40 PM GMT
    Anyone who gets catfishes is a complete idiot. They have low self-esteem and are sad, desperate people. They deserve to be made fools of.
  • asapfusion

    Posts: 9

    Dec 16, 2013 7:43 PM GMT
    Muscles25 saidAnyone who gets catfishes is a complete idiot. They have low self-esteem and are sad, desperate people. They deserve to be made fools of.


    You mean the one who does the catfishing. I mean I feel like an idiot, I'll get over it though. but that dude obviously doesn't have his shit in order.
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    Dec 16, 2013 7:43 PM GMT
    Muscles25 saidAnyone who's afraid to show their face has low self-esteem and are made to be pitied.

    Fixed, because it's the pot calling a whole set of cookware sad.
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    Dec 16, 2013 7:54 PM GMT
    TrevorMark said
    Constant blurry photos, or always professionally done... no-go's.


    Wait, so if your photos look too professional, that's a warning sign? icon_eek.gif

    Not that I'm saying my photos are all that great or that I even look attractive, so I guess I don't have to worry about people suspecting I'm a fraud...but I just happen to be an avid photographer in my spare time.

    Besides, those mirror-in-the-bathroom camera phone shots never seem to do their subjects justice. Many of you are a lot better looking than the blurry, grainy, poorly-lit or flashed pictures you take with your phones.

    *shrug*
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    Dec 16, 2013 7:58 PM GMT
    Muscles25 saidAnyone who gets catfishes is a complete idiot. They have low self-esteem and are sad, desperate people. They deserve to be made fools of.


    you cant blame the people who are the victims of sociopaths, sociopaths don't care who they hurt icon_twisted.gif
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    Dec 16, 2013 8:00 PM GMT
    heropup said
    TrevorMark said
    Constant blurry photos, or always professionally done... no-go's.


    Wait, so if your photos look too professional, that's a warning sign? icon_eek.gif

    Not that I'm saying my photos are all that great or that I even look attractive, so I guess I don't have to worry about people suspecting I'm a fraud...but I just happen to be an avid photographer in my spare time.

    Besides, those mirror-in-the-bathroom camera phone shots never seem to do their subjects justice. Many of you are a lot better looking than the blurry, grainy, poorly-lit or flashed pictures you take with your phones.

    *shrug*

    If every photo you have is professional... yes, it looks strange and suspect.
    If you're out with friends, that's a pretty good verification picture because they're not professional 95% of the time.
  • MarvelClimber

    Posts: 511

    Dec 16, 2013 8:12 PM GMT
    Don't chat long-distance. If you can't be in the same location within 30 minutes, then is dating even practical?. Long-distance chats drag on for months and it often fizzles out or abruptly ends when the other party finds someone offline.

    If someone in your city can't find time to meet in person for an hour, then how can they chat with you online for hours? Games...pass.

    Most sites have verification features. But that usually doesn't matter much because guys who pretend to be someone else don't ever commit to plans. Asking someone to pose for you is silly.

    When you do plan to meet, do so in a public place, preferably one convenient to you or a nearby friend. I've been stood up twice this year. Both times I was at a restaurant that I wanted to try, so no biggie. I've been flaked on way more times though. Half those times I had alternate plans with friends and some were backup booty on stand-by.

    Catfishing has been around since the AOL chat days. It, or something like it, has happened to most guys, so there's no need to feel like an idiot. Recognizing when people are being disingenuous is a valuable skill and part of growing up. Live and learn.
  • RichLather

    Posts: 73

    Dec 16, 2013 9:04 PM GMT
    Unfortunately, guys that weigh 250 + lbs often have to fib a little in order to get some attention. Life is full of disappointment.
  • Apparition

    Posts: 3534

    Dec 16, 2013 9:13 PM GMT
    skype solves all problems of this nature.

    It serves as both a minor intelligence test as well as ends catfishing.

    At the very least you should have a selection of counter catfishing pics available, so when the big reveal comes, you can say...ME TOO! and send the unfavourable pics back and laugh at them.

    but really SKYPE is the answer

    If they dont have a camera, or dont know how, they are not really worth dating are they?
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    Dec 16, 2013 9:19 PM GMT
    Apparition saidAt the very least you should have a selection of counter catfishing pics available, so when the big reveal comes, you can say...ME TOO! and send the unfavourable pics back and laugh at them.


    Love it icon_cool.gif