The line between introvertism and social anxiety

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 17, 2013 7:05 AM GMT
    Let me start by saying that I'm an introvert. I like having time for myself. I do like a good party once in a while, but usually with a smaller crowd. My social circle is limited to smaller groups of friends unlike the extravagant amount of friends that some people have. Anyway...

    I came back from a big event the other day with a group of friends. The crowd was pretty big and it was hosted by the club I'm in at my university. Since everyone was part of the same club, everyone knew each other. I knew most of the people there, but only through small talk so I wasn't that close with the crowd. Meanwhile, most of my friends in my circle are extroverts so they're comfortable with everyone.

    I was sitting with them at our table, but as the night went on, most of them left the table to converse with others. I just sat at my table feeling so awkward and alone in the crowd. I got up to find my friends from my table, but whenever I try to strike up conversation, they're usually too busy talking with others and I just feel ignored.

    This is not the first time either. Whenever our club hosts large gathering, I just shut off into my own shell. My friends never directly mention it to me, but I know they notice since they're always preaching to me about breaking out of my shell, letting loose, and being more social. I try to, but it's just very hard for me. I feel like they're just frustrated and have given up now.

    As mentioned before, I'm an introvert. I like alone time. Sometimes my friends think it's weird that I'd rather spend a night alone instead of partying. Don't get me wrong, I do like a good party once in a while, but it's just so draining when they do it so often and I wish they respected my space once in a while. I don't like the social stigma associated with being an introvert.

    I'm not sure if it's just me being socially awkward or introvert, maybe a little of both? I'm very comfortable when I'm just with small groups of people I know well. It's just that I feel anxiety creeping up and freeze up whenever I'm in a crowd.
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    Dec 17, 2013 7:44 AM GMT
    Find other introverts to hang with. Or put on the mask and pretend to be an extrovert.

    I don't think you have social anxiety. Otherwise, you wouldn't even leave the house to hang with your extrovert friends.
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    Dec 17, 2013 10:02 PM GMT
    xrichx saidFind other introverts to hang with. Or put on the mask and pretend to be an extrovert.

    I don't think you have social anxiety. Otherwise, you wouldn't even leave the house to hang with your extrovert friends.


    It's hard to find other introverts because everyone in the club I'm in is so outgoing. I joined the club because when I transferred to my current university, my friend was in the same club and he introduced me to it. I don't wanna sound like I'm not grateful for the friends I have; I've met some of my best friends here. It's just that they're much more outgoing than I am and it conflicts with my own personal space sometimes.

    I feel like it's harder than it sounds to just "pretend" to be an extrovert =(

    Any other introverts want to give their wisdom and experience =P

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    Dec 17, 2013 11:04 PM GMT
    You should not try to change yourself

    But

    You can always work on your social anxiety (perhaps it is shyness) under the supervision of your social worker from local non-profit and/or using counselling and psychological services at your university. These are free resources you can use!
    There is also a ton of helpful info on socialanxietysupport.com

    Hope it helps icon_smile.gif
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    Dec 17, 2013 11:14 PM GMT
    Almost everyone I know are more introverted and do not have tons of friends but a small group of closer friends. I wouldn't hang out with a "center of attention" anyway. Introverted people can be as interesting as someone who hogs conversations, you will learn. Social atmospheres and group sports, etc. always has something going on that doesn't please everyone.
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    Dec 17, 2013 11:34 PM GMT
    "Let me start by saying that I'm an introvert. I like having time for myself. I do like a good party once in a while, but usually with a smaller crowd."

    You are a classic introvert and you are aware of who you are. Congratulations on the self discovery.

    An introvert gathers his energies and collects his thoughts best when he has some time alone for reflection. An extrovert thrives under opposite conditions; he needs the energy of others around him.

    We all fall somewhere on the spectrum from introvert to extrovert. There's no place on the spectrum that is better than another.

    Knowing yourself will help you in every way, from getting along with others to performing best at your work.