Jmusmc85's quarter life crisis.

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    Dec 20, 2013 7:16 AM GMT
    Hey guys! icon_biggrin.gif

    So I've been stuck in a rut lately. I feel bored with life. Like things are becoming too predictable. I feel any normal gay person would be so lucky to live this life, yet I can't help but think there's more out there for me.I know what I need to do,but putting those ideas into motion quite frankly scare me.


    One of the biggest things that bore me is my job. I'm overqualified, under utilized, and unappreciated. Not to sound like a snob, but I feel I'm above it. I have a 4 year education at a good school and honorable military service. The only reason I took the job was because I was starting over in a new city and needed the money. Then I got comfortable. I get to frolock on the beach and wake up at noon most days. Now I feel it's not a challenge and I'm wasting my talents. Despite what many in here think, I'm a smart guy. I just don't always make smart choices. Which leads me to issue #2....


    ...another thing that has been bothering me is living the single life. Let's be honest, since I've been in Miami, I've done more drugs and had more sex that it would make Charlie Sheen blush. Sometimes I feel my life has been almost surreal since moving here. In a way, I've been able to finally live free after a 6 year toxic relationship with a man who never felt the same way I did about him. So I did what any relatively attractive gay 20 something in Miami would do. In a way I feel like I'm making up for lost time, but I don't think it's becoming healthy for me any more. I find myself in stranger's mansions and million dollar condos with powerful men doing stuff that would make my momma disown me. Hell, even I never thought I would be doing half the stuff I have been doing here. My friends are all pretty much in the same boat. Not to say they are bad guys. I love my friends. But I would be lying if I said that we weren't the kind of people your parents warn you about...icon_twisted.gif

    I know I shouldn't be looking for validation with other men, yet I can't help but seek it out at times. And in the end, it never makes me any happier.

    Just to make things clear, I'm not in any danger. I'm quite fine actually. Maybe it's just a phase and I'll snap out of it soon. Hopefully I will. Just looking for advice and helpful words. I'm having a little emo moment. icon_neutral.gif

    Yes, I'm prepared for any backlash I may receive. Forgive me if I sound like I'm whining.

    Thoughts? Comments? Insults???
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    Dec 20, 2013 7:22 AM GMT
    "I'm overqualified, under utilized, and unappreciated."

    At least write your own shit instead of copying. icon_rolleyes.gif

    Reenlist in the Marine Corps. Or go to OCS. You've got your degree right?
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    Dec 20, 2013 7:25 AM GMT
    xrichx said"I'm overqualified, under utilized, and unappreciated."

    At least write your own shit instead of copying. icon_rolleyes.gif

    Reenlist in the Marine Corps. Or go to OCS. You've got your degree right?


    Ha! Yeah, I took that from you.


    I've actually considered the reserves. That's a lot of commitment though. Do I have it?icon_neutral.gif
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    Dec 20, 2013 7:25 AM GMT
    What do you do for a living?
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    Dec 20, 2013 7:27 AM GMT
    Behemothboi saidWhat do you do for a living?


    I sent you a Pmicon_biggrin.gif
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    Dec 20, 2013 7:27 AM GMT
    jmusmc85 saidHey guys! icon_biggrin.gif

    So I've been stuck in a rut lately. I feel bored with life. Like things are becoming too predictable. I feel any normal gay person would be so lucky to live this life, yet I can't help but think there's more out there for me.I know what I need to do,but putting those ideas into motion quite frankly scare me.


    One of the biggest things that bore me is my job. I'm overqualified, under utilized, and unappreciated. Not to sound like a snob, but I feel I'm above it. I have a 4 year education at a good school and honorable military service. The only reason I took the job was because I was starting over in a new city and needed the money. Then I got comfortable. I get to frolock on the beach and wake up at noon most days. Now I feel it's not a challenge and I'm wasting my talents. Despite what many in here think, I'm a smart guy. I just don't always make smart choices. Which leads me to issue #2....


    ...another thing that has been bothering me is living the single life. Let's be honest, since I've been in Miami, I've done more drugs and had more sex that it would make Charlie Sheen blush. Sometimes I feel my life has been almost surreal since moving here. In a way, I've been able to finally live free after a 6 year toxic relationship with a man who never felt the same way I did about him. So I did what any relatively attractive gay 20 something in Miami would do. In a way I feel like I'm making up for lost time, but I don't think it's becoming healthy for me any more. I find myself in stranger's mansions and million dollar condos with powerful men doing stuff that would make my momma disown me. Hell, even I never thought I would be doing half the stuff I have been doing here. My friends are all pretty much in the same boat. Not to say they are bad guys. I love my friends. But I would be lying if I said that we weren't the kind of people your parents warn you about...icon_twisted.gif

    I know I shouldn't be looking for validation with other men, yet I can't help but seek it out at times. And in the end, it never makes me any happier.

    Just to make things clear, I'm not in any danger. I'm quite fine actually. Maybe it's just a phase and I'll snap out of it soon. Hopefully I will. Just looking for advice and helpful words. I'm having a little emo moment. icon_neutral.gif

    Yes, I'm prepared for any backlash I may receive. Forgive me if I sound like I'm whining.

    Thoughts? Comments? Insults???


    I'm deep in my studies and concerned with a particular thing at the moment, but let me just say that people have limitations and shouldn't expect much from themselves or others.
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    Dec 20, 2013 7:30 AM GMT
    Unnamed5 said
    jmusmc85 saidHey guys! icon_biggrin.gif

    So I've been stuck in a rut lately. I feel bored with life. Like things are becoming too predictable. I feel any normal gay person would be so lucky to live this life, yet I can't help but think there's more out there for me.I know what I need to do,but putting those ideas into motion quite frankly scare me.


    One of the biggest things that bore me is my job. I'm overqualified, under utilized, and unappreciated. Not to sound like a snob, but I feel I'm above it. I have a 4 year education at a good school and honorable military service. The only reason I took the job was because I was starting over in a new city and needed the money. Then I got comfortable. I get to frolock on the beach and wake up at noon most days. Now I feel it's not a challenge and I'm wasting my talents. Despite what many in here think, I'm a smart guy. I just don't always make smart choices. Which leads me to issue #2....


    ...another thing that has been bothering me is living the single life. Let's be honest, since I've been in Miami, I've done more drugs and had more sex that it would make Charlie Sheen blush. Sometimes I feel my life has been almost surreal since moving here. In a way, I've been able to finally live free after a 6 year toxic relationship with a man who never felt the same way I did about him. So I did what any relatively attractive gay 20 something in Miami would do. In a way I feel like I'm making up for lost time, but I don't think it's becoming healthy for me any more. I find myself in stranger's mansions and million dollar condos with powerful men doing stuff that would make my momma disown me. Hell, even I never thought I would be doing half the stuff I have been doing here. My friends are all pretty much in the same boat. Not to say they are bad guys. I love my friends. But I would be lying if I said that we weren't the kind of people your parents warn you about...icon_twisted.gif

    I know I shouldn't be looking for validation with other men, yet I can't help but seek it out at times. And in the end, it never makes me any happier.

    Just to make things clear, I'm not in any danger. I'm quite fine actually. Maybe it's just a phase and I'll snap out of it soon. Hopefully I will. Just looking for advice and helpful words. I'm having a little emo moment. icon_neutral.gif

    Yes, I'm prepared for any backlash I may receive. Forgive me if I sound like I'm whining.

    Thoughts? Comments? Insults???


    I'm deep in my studies and concerned with a particular thing at the moment, but let me just say that people have limitations and shouldn't expect much from themselves or others.


    Ok. Does anyone have anything to say that isn't batshit crazy???
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    Dec 20, 2013 7:34 AM GMT
    Switch your job if you don't like it. Stop doing drugs..your pretty hot now they'll age you no bueno.. have all the sex you want as long as your lookin out for your health or find a good guy if your ready to settle it down
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    Dec 20, 2013 7:37 AM GMT
    jmusmc85 said
    Unnamed5 said
    jmusmc85 saidHey guys! icon_biggrin.gif

    So I've been stuck in a rut lately. I feel bored with life. Like things are becoming too predictable. I feel any normal gay person would be so lucky to live this life, yet I can't help but think there's more out there for me.I know what I need to do,but putting those ideas into motion quite frankly scare me.


    One of the biggest things that bore me is my job. I'm overqualified, under utilized, and unappreciated. Not to sound like a snob, but I feel I'm above it. I have a 4 year education at a good school and honorable military service. The only reason I took the job was because I was starting over in a new city and needed the money. Then I got comfortable. I get to frolock on the beach and wake up at noon most days. Now I feel it's not a challenge and I'm wasting my talents. Despite what many in here think, I'm a smart guy. I just don't always make smart choices. Which leads me to issue #2....


    ...another thing that has been bothering me is living the single life. Let's be honest, since I've been in Miami, I've done more drugs and had more sex that it would make Charlie Sheen blush. Sometimes I feel my life has been almost surreal since moving here. In a way, I've been able to finally live free after a 6 year toxic relationship with a man who never felt the same way I did about him. So I did what any relatively attractive gay 20 something in Miami would do. In a way I feel like I'm making up for lost time, but I don't think it's becoming healthy for me any more. I find myself in stranger's mansions and million dollar condos with powerful men doing stuff that would make my momma disown me. Hell, even I never thought I would be doing half the stuff I have been doing here. My friends are all pretty much in the same boat. Not to say they are bad guys. I love my friends. But I would be lying if I said that we weren't the kind of people your parents warn you about...icon_twisted.gif

    I know I shouldn't be looking for validation with other men, yet I can't help but seek it out at times. And in the end, it never makes me any happier.

    Just to make things clear, I'm not in any danger. I'm quite fine actually. Maybe it's just a phase and I'll snap out of it soon. Hopefully I will. Just looking for advice and helpful words. I'm having a little emo moment. icon_neutral.gif

    Yes, I'm prepared for any backlash I may receive. Forgive me if I sound like I'm whining.

    Thoughts? Comments? Insults???


    I'm deep in my studies and concerned with a particular thing at the moment, but let me just say that people have limitations and shouldn't expect much from themselves or others.


    Ok. Does anyone have anything to say that isn't batshit crazy???


    Can you clarify? (This might get interesting). And I don't mind being perceived as batshit crazy, as I believe I've had worse called to me in real life.
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    Dec 20, 2013 7:39 AM GMT
    For the job situation, do you know exactly what it is that you want to do? If so, allow yourself the detour (your current job) for a little while longer. When the time is right, I'm sure you'll know when it's time to leave. I'm kinda in the same boat as you...I know where I wanna be in ten years but I'm detouring and taking the scenic route to get there lol It'll all work out for you :-)
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    Dec 20, 2013 7:39 AM GMT
    Behemothboi saidSwitch your job if you don't like it. Stop doing drugs..your pretty hot now they'll age you no bueno.. have all the sex you want as long as your lookin out for your health or find a good guy if your ready to settle it down


    Things tend not to work out that way unless one is extremly lucky...won't clarify as my purpose here is not to troll.
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    Dec 20, 2013 7:39 AM GMT
    Behemothboi saidSwitch your job if you don't like it. Stop doing drugs..your pretty hot now they'll age you no bueno.. have all the sex you want as long as your lookin out for your health or find a good guy if your ready to settle it down


    I don't know if I should wait for the promotion, if and when it comes. Or start from square 1 again?

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    Dec 20, 2013 7:42 AM GMT
    You can obtain anything you want in this life guys..you just gotta work for it or be really hot..I try to meet those 2 in the middle
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    Dec 20, 2013 7:43 AM GMT
    jmusmc85 said
    xrichx said"I'm overqualified, under utilized, and unappreciated."

    At least write your own shit instead of copying. icon_rolleyes.gif

    Reenlist in the Marine Corps. Or go to OCS. You've got your degree right?


    Ha! Yeah, I took that from you.

    I've actually considered the reserves. That's a lot of commitment though. Do I have it?icon_neutral.gif
    Serious? You can't set aside one weekend a month for drill? icon_neutral.gif
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    Dec 20, 2013 7:43 AM GMT
    Behemothboi saidYou can obtain anything you want in this life guys..you just gotta work for it or be really hot..I try to meet those 2 in the middle


    You should write motivational books. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Dec 20, 2013 7:45 AM GMT
    xrichx said
    jmusmc85 said
    xrichx said"I'm overqualified, under utilized, and unappreciated."

    At least write your own shit instead of copying. icon_rolleyes.gif

    Reenlist in the Marine Corps. Or go to OCS. You've got your degree right?


    Ha! Yeah, I took that from you.

    I've actually considered the reserves. That's a lot of commitment though. Do I have it?icon_neutral.gif
    Serious? You can't set aside one weekend a month for drill? icon_neutral.gif


    As in I'm afraid they will uproot me and send me elsewhere. I can't exactly get away with wearing my slutty blue swim shorts in Jacksonville, NC.]

    I hated life in small towns. I counted the days till I could get out.
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    Dec 20, 2013 7:46 AM GMT
    jmusmc85 said
    Behemothboi saidSwitch your job if you don't like it. Stop doing drugs..your pretty hot now they'll age you no bueno.. have all the sex you want as long as your lookin out for your health or find a good guy if your ready to settle it down


    I don't know if I should wait for the promotion, if and when it comes. Or start from square 1 again?

    One thing I've learned from my hundred years of working.. Don't let yourself get too comfortable at your job. If you keep waiting for things to come to you (promotions, raises, etc), you won't get very far. My average for switching jobs is like every 3 years. If I find myself bored and in a routine at work, then it's time to move on.
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    Dec 20, 2013 7:55 AM GMT
    Miami and single life go together like milk and cookies, it is much like that here in Los Angeles too, Ft Lauderdale or West Palm would probably be worse, if you wanted to stay in FL, try applying for work in Key West, Naples, Orlando or Jacksonville. With all the meet guy apps and on line sites, you could probably find another, more laid back

    I can tell you just by the 2 nights I spent in Miami, (missed my connecting flight out of San Juan), limo's as taxi cabs even have LA beat, but the men I ran across were not really my type intellectually, latinos are my type, but something about the gays there are different than the ones here in SoCal. Maybe Miami is not your vibe or the kind of man your really looking for is somewhere else.

    If I still lived on the east coast and was willing to move to FL and find work, I would definitely give Key West a try, I had sooo much fun there, meeting locals and people from all over, going naked in my first clothing optional resort, if you haven't been, try Key West for New Years eve this year, Sushi the drag queen drops in a shoe at midnight at Bourbon Street bar, a lot of straight people visit all year round, its also a cruise ship port, you never know who you could meet
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    Dec 20, 2013 7:59 AM GMT
    scruffLA saidMiami and single life go together like milk and cookies, it is much like that here in Los Angeles too, Ft Lauderdale or West Palm would probably be worse, if you wanted to stay in FL, try applying for work in Key West, Naples, Orlando or Jacksonville. With all the meet guy apps and on line sites, you could probably find another, more laid back

    I can tell you just by the 2 nights I spent in Miami, (missed my connecting flight out of San Juan), limo's as taxi cabs even have LA beat, but the men I ran across were not really my type intellectually, latinos are my type, but something about the gays there are different than the ones here in SoCal. Maybe Miami is not your vibe or the kind of man your really looking for is somewhere else.

    If I still lived on the east coast and was willing to move to FL and find work, I would definitely give Key West a try, I had sooo much fun there, meeting locals and people from all over, going naked in my first clothing optional resort, if you haven't been, try Key West for New Years eve this year, Sushi the drag queen drops in a shoe at midnight at Bourbon Street bar, a lot of straight people visit all year round, its also a cruise ship port, you never know who you could meet



    Sorry, but none of that sounds like my cup of tea. icon_confused.gif
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    Dec 20, 2013 8:02 AM GMT
    And the type of men in Miami are my type. Despite the huge Latino population, there is also a sizable population of European men. Ever since my vacation last year and a brief fling with a handsome Dutch guy I've been hooked on them. I've met a Brit, Swede, and more recently French man that I could perfectly see myself with in the future. As to whether or not they felt the same is a different story....icon_cry.gif
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    Dec 20, 2013 8:03 AM GMT
    Hm interesting, for a guy that talks big in the forum, I think you're a softie at heart! hehe ok I have a couple of advices.

    1/ Your job - be grateful that you have a job, however I think you need to change career. What is it you love doing, maybe you should discover that and go after it, be prepare to take internship or get more training or go back to school and don't be afraid to put yourself out there.

    2/ Your dating life - You either want to be single and whore around or be in a relationship mindset. You don't get to have your cake and eat it twice! It's understandable though, you're still in your 20s, experimenting and still learning! But if you truly want a boyfriend, cool it on the drug and the sleeping around. Imagine how your date feel if he finds out these bits of information you're doing on the side while trying to date him!

    3/ I think it's normal for people to seek validation in whatever they want. But It might be a good idea just to work on yourself first, unless you fix *problems in your life, no man is going to magically make you all happy. Beside, if you're not happy with your life, how are you going to bring happiness to the other guy/bf? !!

    I suggest talking to close friends and family members if you want to get more feedback if you still feel confused or lost. Good luck!
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    Dec 20, 2013 8:03 AM GMT
    Jesus Christ. As I left work tonight I was 100% convinced that I would quit my job, now I'm not so sure....icon_confused.gif
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    Dec 20, 2013 8:07 AM GMT
    socalx10 saidHm interesting, for a guy that talks big in the forum, I think you're a softie at heart! hehe ok I have a couple of advices.

    1/ Your job - be grateful that you have a job, however I think you need to change career. What is it you love doing, maybe you should discover that and go after it, be prepare to take internship or get more training or go back to school and don't be afraid to put yourself out there.

    2/ Your dating life - You either want to be single and whore around or be in a relationship mindset. You don't get to have your cake and eat it twice! It's understandable though, you're still in your 20s, experimenting and still learning! But if you truly want a boyfriend, cool it on the drug and the sleeping around. Imagine how your date feel if he finds out these bits of information you're doing on the side while trying to date him!

    3/ I think it's normal for people to seek validation in whatever they want. But It might be a good idea just to work on yourself first, unless you fix *problems in your life, no man is going to magically make you all happy. Beside, if you're not happy with your life, how are you going to bring happiness to the other guy/bf? !!

    I suggest talking to close friends and family members if you want to get more feedback if you still feel confused or lost. span>src="http://a.rjstatic.com/images/icon_biggrin.gif" />



    Hey mom!!! I've been partying with Venezuelan hookers, Russian pornstars and world reknown photographers, but it hasn't made me happy. Plus it's bad for my hair. What should I do?

    Yeah, I don't think that would go over so well...
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    Dec 20, 2013 8:10 AM GMT
    Lol Only share info you want to share, I didn't say share everything! Lol, hahaha cool, those Venezuelans hookers must be hot! icon_cool.gificon_eek.gif



    jmusmc85 said

    I suggest talking to close friends and family members if you want to get more feedback if you still feel confused or lost. span>src="http://a.rjstatic.com/images/icon_biggrin.gif" />



    Hey mom!!! I've been partying with Venezuelan hookers and world reknown photographers, but it hasn't made me happy. Plus it's bad for my hair. What should I do?

    Yeah, I don't think that would go over so well...
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    Dec 20, 2013 8:11 AM GMT
    Unnamed5 said
    Behemothboi saidSwitch your job if you don't like it. Stop doing drugs..your pretty hot now they'll age you no bueno.. have all the sex you want as long as your lookin out for your health or find a good guy if your ready to settle it down


    Things tend not to work out that way unless one is extremely lucky...won't clarify as my purpose here is not to troll.


    I mean (while maintaining my vagueness) is that things don't work out in ways we expect them to, especially when one is dependent or interdependent on external factors, systems or models, or the individuals one encounters in their lives for own relative success in life. On the other hand, luck doesn't play that much of a role for me in meeting my own basic economic, social and psychological goals since I'm already self-possessed and self-sufficient despite my current "poverty". So while people can have a capacity for hard work and exchange that for money, they are nonetheless passive cogs in their ability to provide value for others, and are highly dependent on the grace of circumstances for their so called success in this life.