What is it like as an older gay man?

  • Eli_jah

    Posts: 1391

    Dec 22, 2013 2:56 AM GMT
    How specifically are older men treated (or mistreated) in the community?
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    Dec 22, 2013 3:03 AM GMT
    Well, when I turned 30 two weeks ago and officially became an old gay man it was a scary time in my life. Because I was officially gay dead. Now I roam the world as a ghoulish gay specter.
  • Eli_jah

    Posts: 1391

    Dec 22, 2013 3:04 AM GMT
    Aristoshark said
    Dopeamine saidWe all know about ageism within the community, at least when it comes to sexual preference/behavior, but how specifically are older men treated (and mistreated) in the community?

    Not entirely sure what you're asking.


    Fixed.
  • Eli_jah

    Posts: 1391

    Dec 22, 2013 3:05 AM GMT
    Matiz saidWell, when I turned 30 two weeks ago and officially became and old gay man it was a scary time in my life. Because I was officially gay dead. Now I roam the world as a ghoulish gay specter.


    30? GTFO of my thread!
  • fitartistsf

    Posts: 638

    Dec 22, 2013 7:41 AM GMT
    It sucks!
    (no, I don't mean in a sexual way...) I hate getting/being old, period. And everything that is associated with aging... Physically, sexually, socially...
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    Dec 22, 2013 9:01 AM GMT
    There is an alternative....
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    Dec 22, 2013 9:08 AM GMT
    Dopeamine saidHow specifically are older men treated (or mistreated) in the community?


    Hopefully you'll get at least 5 negative responses from older men in order to make some huge generalized post about how all older men are mistreated in the gay community. Then you can publish a thesis on the issue.

    Younger people generally prefer a younger partner, whether gay or straight. When younger women date older men the sugar daddy or daddy issues joke is always brought up.
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    Dec 22, 2013 9:22 AM GMT
    I'm 39. I'm hit on more now than I have ever been, by people of all ages. I'm not feeling this "dead after 30" thing that I hear people talk about. Don't believe it.

    My 30's have been the best years of my life. I've always been confident, but I was even MORE confident in my mid/late 30's as I learned a lot about myself and how to socialize better. I've heard the 40's are even better. Take care of yourself, stay fit, stay confident, and do the things you love.
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    Dec 22, 2013 9:34 AM GMT
    I feel less energetic than I was when I was in my twenties. Most fitness group exercise programs offered are usually targeted at young people, so I don't enjoy the types of music played or exercises chosen. Even worse, no group exercise leaders that I have met so far at gyms know the specific needs of the older (and healthy) population.
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    Dec 22, 2013 10:08 AM GMT
    In my family we all look younger than our actual age. As a kid I felt like that was a bad thing because I always thought people thought of me as immature and not quite up to speed. Younger guys would call me kid lol. Now its actually helped me. The fact that in the last couple yrs i am truly rediscovering myself feels like im 16 all over again. When I turned 33 was when I felt the age factor. People would see my age then they would take a look at me and say youve got nothing to worry about.
  • secondstartot...

    Posts: 1314

    Dec 22, 2013 10:11 AM GMT
    its awfull and it really sucks......the thing is , you really stop giving a shit what people think...before 30 you "think" you dont fter about 35 I suddenly realised for the first time "I Like myself" and I really honestly truly do not give a flying fuck what anyone else thinks.....and ergo there are a million and one stupid things I no longer do because I feel "I have to " I treasure my actual friends...and family..and pets
    If I am never in a relationship again who cares there is more to life...If I suddenly meet someone amazing so be it - there is more to life
    "it" does not get better "you" do - I am better than I ever was and its going to take a miracle and someone near dammit perfect to come change that !
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    Dec 22, 2013 11:39 AM GMT
    Hmmm interesting...Okay carry on.

    I have a sense its all about how of attention whore you are and age does not entirely goes with the subject, but physical appearance comes in a huge factor, second the personality one has.

    *Thats what my rough renderings are not that I'm Old but it goes with my projection of it.icon_razz.gif
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    Dec 22, 2013 11:40 AM GMT
    Apparently you turn invisible as an older gay man. I am looking forward to it so I can start my evil crime empire. I might start small, by stealing underwear at the gym, then move up to bank robberies wahaha.
  • daddysw

    Posts: 89

    Dec 22, 2013 11:52 AM GMT
    I dont know what its like in the US, but on certain social apps here i UK (Gr****), too many younger guys are just rude when approached with a simple 'Hi'. Strange that doesnt happen on Sr***.
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    Dec 22, 2013 11:58 AM GMT
    Well, the hairline starts to recede then hair starts growing out of places you really wish it wouldn't like your ears and nose.

    By that point your memory starts failing and you stumble over common everyday words like pudding pop.

    Then you start confusing things like those darn stop lights - I really thought red was go and green was stop. I mean that just makes sense.

    You fall asleep in mid-wank when you wake up you have to pee, but trip and fall because your shorts are still at your ankles.

    Shall I continue?

    icon_wink.gif


    Oh and in the community - the worst to me is being called Daddy. I am sorry, but that's just creepy to me.
  • Nayro

    Posts: 1825

    Dec 22, 2013 12:06 PM GMT
    Matiz saidWell, when I turned 30 two weeks ago and officially became an old gay man it was a scary time in my life. Because I was officially gay dead. Now I roam the world as a ghoulish gay specter.


    I think guys in their early thirties are hot!
  • Kalifornicati...

    Posts: 242

    Dec 22, 2013 12:59 PM GMT
    I just turned 40 this past October, and it haven't experienced and negativity at all. In fact I'm really enjoying it. I do have to say though I am married so I don't really go out clubbing anymore, however I still like to go and have a drink with a friend sometimes. I also have a wide variety of friendships from straight to gay, I think that is important too because I'm not limiting my self to just a gay life style. I love to just be with my fiends which 90% of the time isn't in boys town.

    This past may I became a father too which also has brightened my life. I love being a dad, so maybe that has changed my views. As I age I will be enjoying my son grow and look forward to all the things that are ahead with him and my family.

    Things that I have noticed such as, I have slowed down some. My energy is a bit down. My metabolism is changing(fuck :cryicon_smile.gif I sleep more and wanna relax more. That's about it for the negative part.

    I still continue to workout, although that's a bit harder, but not horrible. I can still run pretty good and do yoga. I eat well and try to drink lots of water and take care of my skin.

    Traveling is a must if you can. We travel a lot and that helps keep things exciting and new.

    Over all, I have to say, the way I see getting older right now is pretty good to me. Ask me when I turn 48, I might have my breakdown by then. Yikes 50!!!!
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    Dec 22, 2013 1:04 PM GMT
    Daelin said
    Matiz saidWell, when I turned 30 two weeks ago and officially became an old gay man it was a scary time in my life. Because I was officially gay dead. Now I roam the world as a ghoulish gay specter.


    I think guys in their early thirties are hot!


    YEah Duh! I told someone yesterday you will only be recognized as a good lustrous looking man when you hit 30.icon_cool.gif Age..26,27,28,29 are all considered teens actually, trying "the wannabe man" basically.
  • real_diver2

    Posts: 88

    Dec 22, 2013 1:11 PM GMT
    Kalifornication saidI just turned 40 this past October, and it haven't experienced and negativity at all. In fact I'm really enjoying it. I do have to say though I am married so I don't really go out clubbing anymore, however I still like to go and have a drink with a friend sometimes. I also have a wide variety of friendships from straight to gay, I think that is important too because I'm not limiting my self to just a gay life style. I love to just be with my fiends which 90% of the time isn't in boys town.

    This past may I became a father too which also has brightened my life. I love being a dad, so maybe that has changed my views. As I age I will be enjoying my son grow and look forward to all the things that are ahead with him and my family.

    Things that I have noticed such as, I have slowed down some. My energy is a bit down. My metabolism is changing(fuck :cryicon_smile.gif I sleep more and wanna relax more. That's about it for the negative part.

    I still continue to workout, although that's a bit harder, but not horrible. I can still run pretty good and do yoga. I eat well and try to drink lots of water and take care of my skin.

    Traveling is a must if you can. We travel a lot and that helps keep things exciting and new.

    Over all, I have to say, the way I see getting older right now is pretty good to me. Ask me when I turn 48, I might have my breakdown by then. Yikes 50!!!!


    That is an EXCELLENT summary, Kalifornication! icon_smile.gif
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    Dec 22, 2013 1:21 PM GMT
    fitartistsf saidIt sucks!
    (no, I don't mean in a sexual way...) I hate getting/being old, period. And everything that is associated with aging... Physically, sexually, socially...


    There is only one alternative... icon_cool.gif
  • Sportsfan1

    Posts: 479

    Dec 22, 2013 1:31 PM GMT
    Depends on each and every person. Some of us embrace getting older, some of us reject it, some of us fear it. The younger guys need to realize that if they are lucky they will reach the age I am currently at. Be friendly, if someone just says hi it is just that a friendly hello. It does not mean we want to get into your pants. Be respectful, remember whatever goes around comes around. They way some of the younger guys treat us mature men will be the way they will probably be treated.
  • RainBow_Drago...

    Posts: 337

    Dec 22, 2013 1:36 PM GMT
    aged out, and discriminated against by the young and foolish? You're in your late 40's or fifties, and you're single and almost friendless.

    You live in a metropolitan city, which has a reasonably sized gay community, yet you feel like an outcast.

    Many of your friends died or got married decades ago and moved on with their new family lives, and now have started retiring.
    You would like to go out dancing sometimes, but you don’t feel comfortable going to bars anymore.
    The Internet seems full of jerks who'd say nasty things t you for being an old gay guy.

    an then you remember the distaste you once had for old people.

    IT"S TIME TO PAY BACK BITCH!
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    Dec 22, 2013 1:46 PM GMT
    Swing low sweet chariot...
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    Dec 22, 2013 1:50 PM GMT
    This is what older looks like. i take care of myself more now than when i was a young party boy. i'm probably in better shape. i do quite well. you have an issue with older gay? then i just guess thats your issue. aging, it's inevitable, so go with it and you don't have to miss a beat. the music may change but keep on dancing my friends. have a good time, drink water, and keep-on-dancing!
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    Dec 22, 2013 1:51 PM GMT
    I became 30 this year and to be honest, its like something changed mentally for me, its about just focusing on making sure you get things right over the next decade. To me, its like the chemical imbalance that was in my brain in my 20's (up to age 29) got sorted out. Now I look at things from a new perspective, very responsible and mature.

    Could also be shocker that 40 is just 10 years away and 50 is just 20 years away. These days, time flies fast.