Would you date anyone?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 23, 2013 10:35 AM GMT
    Hi.icon_smile.gifI'm turning into 26 in 3 days and I've never been in a relationship. I only had one major crush throughout my whole life and I realized how love feels like. but after that, I've never had that strong crush on anyone for a decade.

    Since I consider myself very old considering that I don't have any dating experience, I'm kinda threatened by it. I went to a gay bar like three times, in an attempt to find a person who I can talk to. One time this Russian guy came up to me and asked if I wanted to experience Russian Roulette. He was with two more guys. As I'm not into gang bangs, I just laughed and left the bar. Didn't like it at all. I've also been trying on-line dating but I feel like it's not for me. If I find someone nice, he always lives at least 300km away from where I live.

    I'm just waiting for someone who can bring the feeling back to me. Should I just give it a go with anyone who asks me out? even if I don't feel anything??

    What would you do if you were in this situation?
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    Dec 23, 2013 12:51 PM GMT
    No, if you feel nothing, you are better off alone. Don't be afraid to set yourself some (realistic) standards and to put those into practice. I'm 27 and never been in any real serious relationship either. It will come at some point, just be patient.
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    Dec 23, 2013 2:39 PM GMT
    For first and second dates? I'd go for coffee or lunch or even dinner, even if I didn't feel any sparks. Sometimes the sparks fly AFTER you get to know someone, even if by looks alone they don't excite you. I've been pleasantly surprised on more than one occasion by this.

    OTOH sometimes the ones who are hot, with whom you think you have instant chemistry, are the ones that fizzle out because you aren't compatible beyond the superficial.

    And I learned a long time ago I'd rather be alone than with the wrong person for the wrong reasons. And I hate being alone.
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    Dec 23, 2013 2:49 PM GMT
    Truppensturm saidIt will come at some point, just be patient.


    Well that's what my friends say when I talk about this issue, but I guess that is the only one right answer for this question. Thx for your reply and hope we can meet the right person SOON. icon_biggrin.gif soon.
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    Dec 23, 2013 3:03 PM GMT
    ejay79 saidI'd rather be alone than with the wrong person for the wrong reasons. And I hate being alone.


    That's the mindset I've had so far and I sense I'm getting even pickier year after year, which is very weird. Any advice to be less picky? and what do you do if you don't like your date even after you finish your dinner?? Doesn't it get awkward?

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    Dec 23, 2013 3:31 PM GMT
    I think you are stressing too soon about this issue - I only had my first relationship at 40 and after a number of relationships I realised that even the one you drool about is not The One.
    Yes, rather alone than unhappy - just look at the number of str8 people divorcing after 5 or 10 or even 20 years of marriage!
    Important: don't go out with anyone if you don't feel that you would like to know him better - mind and body.
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    Dec 23, 2013 5:55 PM GMT
    I would stop using the Internet and clubs/bars to find a date.
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    Dec 23, 2013 7:35 PM GMT
    God Jul!?? Er du norsk?
    At 26, no one (but you, it seems, or perhaps a 16 year old) would consider you to be "very old."

    Continue to make yourself available, whether it's bars or online, or IRL. Australia is full of gay guys - you are bound to meet someone eventually. It really helps to have gay friends. A great way to meet other guys is through friends of friends.
  • Suetonius

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    Dec 23, 2013 7:40 PM GMT
    SaturnC said
    ejay79 saidI'd rather be alone than with the wrong person for the wrong reasons. And I hate being alone.


    and what do you do if you don't like your date even after you finish your dinner?? Doesn't it get awkward?

    Having dinner together does not obligate you to spend the night together. What do you do? You pretend to like him, have polite conversation for a while, then have to go home because you are feeling tired.
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    Dec 25, 2013 4:09 PM GMT
    HikerSkier said God Jul!?? Er du norsk?



    Nej, jag är inte norska, men det är intressant att du märkte det. Tack för ditt råd icon_smile.gif
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    Dec 25, 2013 10:02 PM GMT
    SaturnC said
    HikerSkier said God Jul!?? Er du norsk?



    Nej, jag är inte norska, men det är intressant att du märkte det. Tack för ditt råd icon_smile.gif

    Vær så god!
    Og nå vet jeg at du har skrevet på svensk.
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    Jan 03, 2014 10:54 PM GMT
    I'm all for it, I just haven't found the right person yet.