I'm scared to use Grindr?

  • Lewnatic

    Posts: 34

    Dec 23, 2013 4:18 PM GMT
    Every time I download it and make an account I end up deleting it just hours later. It makes me feel really uncomfortable...

    My first experience with it was just over 3 years ago, when I was 19 and wanting to experiment with my sexuality. I met up with a guy 12 years older than me and we fooled around. I heavily regretted it afterwards and removed all trace of him and Grindr from my life.

    Fast forward to this summer, I decided to give it another try. I met one guy (my age this time) for a few dates. It didn't work out because he wanted to "keep his options open", whereas I was ready for something more serious. Nevertheless, I kept my options open too and met a new guy who was 3 years younger than me. We really hit it off and I loved spending time with him... Though it all took place pretty late at night, driving around in a car because he was a closet and that's all he was really mentally capable of. We discussed Grindr and I told him I'd used it for NSA before but it wasn't for me, and he said the same. Only a month later he admitted that prior to me he had actually met up with 30+ people off it for NSA, with the worst case being when he was 16 he met up with a 38 year old. A bunch of other stuff happened and we're not on good terms now, but I know he's back on Grindr with a fake profile looking for NSA hook ups (I have a friend on there who he started speaking to, and my friend realised through getting to know him who he was really talking to and showed me).

    My point is, these bad experiences have really put me off Grindr. I know most people do use it for NSA, and you have to sift through a lot of bad to find good, but even so I feel like I'm being uptight by completely disregarding something that could potentially help me meet new people.

    Am I crazy, or is Grindr a no-go zone?
  • Lewnatic

    Posts: 34

    Dec 23, 2013 4:29 PM GMT
    Jaggal saidI prefer Scruff. People are nicer, and bearier and hairier (my type), and less skeezy IMO. At this point in my life, I realized that NSA=red flag. You might be able to find a decent guy off grindr, but you need to be selective as fuck.

    I've never heard of that one, but I suppose I could try it. Grindr just made me feel quite trampy and the constant overload of seedy men throwing themselves at me just made me feel uncomfortable.

    Jaggal said
    " Though it all took place pretty late at night, driving around in a car because he was a closet "
    I met a guy like that..chat did not progress much before I got sick of it (online chat, he wouldn't show his face on skype..).

    Well if time machines existed I would of course have stopped it from progressing, but nope. I fell very, very hard and he ripped my heart out, and laughed while he did it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 23, 2013 4:31 PM GMT


    lol, your topic made me think of this re Grindr:



  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 23, 2013 4:43 PM GMT
    Grindr I believe is the world's number one gay hookup app, so finding guys on it that don't want NSA to me seems to be kind of hard. Also the conversation/ social skills are VERY lacking on that site. It takes all of two sentences for people to send naked pics of themselves (sometimes I don't even say anything and they just send them) or ask what I am into sexually.

    This video does a pretty good job summing up what happens on Grindr
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B0ec7C7_9lY


    I would try okcupid, to me that is a better way to find guys who actually want to go on dates and meet up with you in a non-sexual way (at first).
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Dec 23, 2013 4:53 PM GMT
    I can't speak to the whole Grindr thing. Have never used it as I don't do hookups at all and never really have. (My understanding from comments on RJ being that Grindr is primarily a hookup ap.) I do have Hornet installed on my iPod but have never used it other than to flirt with guys 3,000 miles away.

    What I do want to speak to is young guys not feeling comfortable with their own sense of things. If you don't feel comfortable using or doing something then trust that, no further justification or explanation needed. It doesn't matter if everyone else on the planet is doing it and feel fine about it, if it isn't for you, then don't do it.
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    Dec 23, 2013 5:23 PM GMT
    jrad saidGrindr I believe is the world's number one gay hookup app, so finding guys on it that don't want NSA to me seems to be kind of hard. Also the conversation/ social skills are VERY lacking on that site. It takes all of two sentences for people to send naked pics of themselves (sometimes I don't even say anything and they just send them) or ask what I am into sexually.

    This video does a pretty good job summing up what happens on Grindr
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B0ec7C7_9lY


    I would try okcupid, to me that is a better way to find guys who actually want to go on dates and meet up with you in a non-sexual way (at first).


    awesome video! ;)
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    Dec 23, 2013 5:46 PM GMT
    For crying out loud, stop using Grindr already. There are other ways of meeting guys than using an Internet app designed for hookups.

    By the way, I don't understand why you needed to disclose the ages of the guys you met. Their ages are irrelevant to the thread discussion.
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    Dec 23, 2013 5:51 PM GMT
    Did this topic title really require a question mark?

    J.S.

    Good day, sir.



























    That is all.
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    Dec 24, 2013 5:15 PM GMT
    Lewnatic saidEvery time I download it and make an account I end up deleting it just hours later. It makes me feel really uncomfortable...

    My first experience with it was just over 3 years ago, when I was 19 and wanting to experiment with my sexuality. I met up with a guy 12 years older than me and we fooled around. I heavily regretted it afterwards and removed all trace of him and Grindr from my life.

    Fast forward to this summer, I decided to give it another try. I met one guy (my age this time) for a few dates. It didn't work out because he wanted to "keep his options open", whereas I was ready for something more serious. Nevertheless, I kept my options open too and met a new guy who was 3 years younger than me. We really hit it off and I loved spending time with him... Though it all took place pretty late at night, driving around in a car because he was a closet and that's all he was really mentally capable of. We discussed Grindr and I told him I'd used it for NSA before but it wasn't for me, and he said the same. Only a month later he admitted that prior to me he had actually met up with 30+ people off it for NSA, with the worst case being when he was 16 he met up with a 38 year old. A bunch of other stuff happened and we're not on good terms now, but I know he's back on Grindr with a fake profile looking for NSA hook ups (I have a friend on there who he started speaking to, and my friend realised through getting to know him who he was really talking to and showed me).

    My point is, these bad experiences have really put me off Grindr. I know most people do use it for NSA, and you have to sift through a lot of bad to find good, but even so I feel like I'm being uptight by completely disregarding something that could potentially help me meet new people.

    Am I crazy, or is Grindr a no-go zone?


    It's not grindr that's the issue -- you're going to find these same kinds of stories with other sources as well (Scruff, manhunt, gay.com, etc.). bottom line though, is that you just need to do what you're comfortable with....be with who you are comfortable with. you may find a real good dude on grindr, you may find 100 bad guys on scruff or some other source.

    focus on the people, not the app.
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    Dec 25, 2013 2:02 AM GMT

    I didn't realize so many threads about Grindr on here icon_lol.gif


  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 25, 2013 2:06 AM GMT
    _SAGE_ saidDid this topic title really require a question mark?

    Nothing against Lewnatic, I'm curious why we have so many eroneous question marks at the end of subject lines here.......... ?
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Dec 25, 2013 2:48 AM GMT
    Lewnatic saidEvery time I download it and make an account I end up deleting it just hours later. It makes me feel really uncomfortable...

    My first experience with it was just over 3 years ago, when I was 19 and wanting to experiment with my sexuality. I met up with a guy 12 years older than me and we fooled around. I heavily regretted it afterwards and removed all trace of him and Grindr from my life.

    Fast forward to this summer, I decided to give it another try. I met one guy (my age this time) for a few dates. It didn't work out because he wanted to "keep his options open", whereas I was ready for something more serious. Nevertheless, I kept my options open too and met a new guy who was 3 years younger than me. We really hit it off and I loved spending time with him... Though it all took place pretty late at night, driving around in a car because he was a closet and that's all he was really mentally capable of. We discussed Grindr and I told him I'd used it for NSA before but it wasn't for me, and he said the same. Only a month later he admitted that prior to me he had actually met up with 30+ people off it for NSA, with the worst case being when he was 16 he met up with a 38 year old. A bunch of other stuff happened and we're not on good terms now, but I know he's back on Grindr with a fake profile looking for NSA hook ups (I have a friend on there who he started speaking to, and my friend realised through getting to know him who he was really talking to and showed me).

    My point is, these bad experiences have really put me off Grindr. I know most people do use it for NSA, and you have to sift through a lot of bad to find good, but even so I feel like I'm being uptight by completely disregarding something that could potentially help me meet new people.

    Am I crazy, or is Grindr a no-go zone?


    For you, I'd say it's a no go.

    Find a dating site that isn't hook-up oriented. Make a profile that it positive, upbeat and be honest about yourself, who you want to meet and what you are looking for.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 25, 2013 4:23 AM GMT
    I'm afraid to use grindr too!!!icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 25, 2013 4:51 AM GMT
    A date doesn't have to be scary, creepy or rape-ish.
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    Dec 25, 2013 5:41 AM GMT
    willular said


    It's not grindr that's the issue -- you're going to find these same kinds of stories with other sources as well (Scruff, manhunt, gay.com, etc.). bottom line though, is that you just need to do what you're comfortable with....be with who you are comfortable with. you may find a real good dude on grindr, you may find 100 bad guys on scruff or some other source.

    focus on the people, not the app.


    First, thank you for sharing your experience. And unlike one earlier poster, I appreciate you including the ages of those involved without disclosing their other identities. It helps to put the situation in perspective. icon_smile.gif

    Rightly said! Grindr is good for the type of people who go for particular activities, and the site bring together those people well. Going there to seek fitness geeks to share and learn fitness tips will be like finding a needle in a haystack. But like Willular said it can happen!

    icon_biggrin.gif

  • Zigs_01

    Posts: 226

    Apr 02, 2015 6:54 PM GMT
    I don't think I can ever engaging in constant casual sex like grindr. I don't think experimenting is bad or a few times. However, studies show that people who had twenty partners by the time they were in their early twenties were harshly looked down by people. I would avoid casual sex because most people dislike it. A couple times is alright though.

    I must admit that I feel tempted to engage in one night-stands due to all the sexually attractive photos The interesting fact about the human brain and eyes is that your eyes can't tell the difference between a photo and a real person. Your eyes thinks the photo of a person is actually a real person.