Just out boyfriend to a sex party... 5 months before we met

  • green_guy

    Posts: 40

    Dec 24, 2013 12:09 AM GMT
    Not really sure what a sex party entails aside from random sex, But he says he had sex with 3 guys separately while there.

    This changes the way I used to see him. Would it be overreacting to call off the relationship?
  • green_guy

    Posts: 40

    Dec 24, 2013 12:11 AM GMT
    *Just found out boyfriend went to a sex party... 5 months before we met
  • PR_GMR

    Posts: 3831

    Dec 24, 2013 12:16 AM GMT
    Your boyfriend's past sexual history is none of your business.. and you don't get to judge anyone based on that. As long as he's faithful to you know, why does it matter?
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    Dec 24, 2013 5:30 AM GMT
    green_guy saidWould it be overreacting to call off the relationship?


    yes
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    Dec 24, 2013 6:16 AM GMT
    green_guy said*Just found out boyfriend went to a sex party... 5 months before we met

    Seriously? Do you like him? Is he going out to them now that you're dating? If not then you're overreacting and if he told you what he did you should be engaging, not judging. Open communications begins with listening and not judging, you have a lot to learn about communications!
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    Dec 24, 2013 6:40 AM GMT
    If you decide to break up with guys because of their past, then that means you'll remain single because EVERYONE has a past / dirty laundry. Suggestion to you - learn from his past and move on with the present.
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    Dec 24, 2013 11:40 AM GMT
    PR_GMR saidYour boyfriend's past sexual history is none of your business.. and you don't get to judge anyone based on that. As long as he's faithful to you know, why does it matter?

    Yeah, this times a million. Everyone has a past, most of the time we either choose not to ask, or choose not to focus too much on it. If you are going to focus on this ones past, or the next ones, you will always end up alone. The past always stays the past for a very good reason, leave it there and move on, quickly.
  • What_May

    Posts: 20

    Dec 25, 2013 12:31 AM GMT
    ^^^ smartmoney nailed it.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Dec 25, 2013 12:48 AM GMT
    Unpopular opinion warning

    I think it depends, how uncomfortable does it make you? Has he cheated in partners in the past? Was this a "one time fantasy" thing or does he have a history of this kind of thing?

    If two people don't value sexual intimacy the same way, it can spell disaster.
  • green_guy

    Posts: 40

    Dec 25, 2013 2:47 AM GMT
    Timbales saidUnpopular opinion warning

    I think it depends, how uncomfortable does it make you? Has he cheated in partners in the past? Was this a "one time fantasy" thing or does he have a history of this kind of thing?

    If two people don't value sexual intimacy the same way, it can spell disaster.


    You see where Im coming from... I get the whole past thing since theres other things in his past Ive been able to get over. But with this I wouldn't have even imagined him doing until he told me, based of the way I see him and the way we are sexually together. I just dont really see him in the same light anymore I wasn't even after to cuddle with him the morning after he told me.

    That bomb thrown in with some of his views on sex that dont match my own (says that he sees sex as just a thing and a relationship is what really matters) just makes me think that its better to call things off now rather than wait for a disaster later.
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    Dec 26, 2013 12:59 PM GMT
    green_guy said
    Timbales said

    ..Based of the way I see him and the way we are sexually together. I just dont really see him in the same light anymore I wasn't even after to cuddle with him the morning after he told me.

    That bomb thrown in with some of his views on sex that dont match my own (says that he sees sex as just a thing and a relationship is what really matters) just makes me think that its better to call things off now rather than wait for a disaster later.


    This is so much better than Him feeding you a bag of lies..

    ..I think the issue here is selfishness and lack of acceptance...and you being afraid.
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    Dec 27, 2013 5:33 AM GMT
    smartmoney said
    PR_GMR saidYour boyfriend's past sexual history is none of your business.. and you don't get to judge anyone based on that. As long as he's faithful to you know, why does it matter?

    Yeah, this times a million. Everyone has a past, most of the time we either choose not to ask, or choose not to focus too much on it. If you are going to focus on this ones past, or the next ones, you will always end up alone. The past always stays the past for a very good reason, leave it there and move on, quickly.


    The first time I have seen smartmoney reply to a post in a non joking, non funny sarcastic but straight way icon_smile.gif Phew! icon_smile.gif