Dec 24, 2013 6:34 PM GMT
"Owning your shit means taking responsibility for your actions, acknowledging their impact on others, and moving forward without trying to cover your ass." (quoted from this blog.)
Ages ago I started a thread saying that some RJers needed to learn to own their shit. It didn't go down very well, as such things seldom do, especially from someone who was, at the time, a newcomer to this forum.
I'm floating it again because I think it is a very important concept that, if it were understood, could save all of us a lot of grief both here in this forum and in real life.
None of us are perfect. We all have bullshit of one sort and another. And sometimes this bullshit gets us in trouble, either with a fellow RJer or with someone in our real lives.
Typically when we get "called" on our BS, the knee-jerk reaction is first to deny that our BS is BS and then adopt a defensive (sometimes aggressively defensive) posture, usually attempting to shame, redicule or otherwise nullify the opinion of who ever called us on it. This can very quickly devolve into a name-calling argument that goes nowhere other than to get everyone involved hot and bothered.
My advice? As a general rule, don't personalize an argument or disagreement with someone. IOW, lets say you disagree with something someone says. Fine, no problem, disagree with their opinion. However, as soon as you personalize it by in some way insulting the integrity of the PERSON who holds a different opinion from your own, you've opened the door to a forum food fight. Attacking the person rather than their opinion is BS, is your shit and really says way more about you than the person you've attacked.
My further advice, if someone attacks you with their BS first, just move on. You can say something back if you want but be careful. It is very easy to get "hooked in" to defending yourself. I've seen many thread go completely off-topic as two or three guys start hooking into one another on a personal level, going off on an 'attack-counterattack' binge, that completely derails the OP. In general it makes for a crappy forum experience.
None of this is necessary. All of us can "reflect" and "own our shit," take responsibility for our actions and just simply refuse to be baited into a personalized argument with someone… especially on a forum.
This is supposed to be a HEALTH focused forum. Emotional stress is not healthy. If you ever feel yourself getting emotionally upset by things said here, for heaven's sake, just get up from your computer and go take a walk. When you come back, try to look at your shit and everyone else's a bit more objectively.