Sex without love: what does it mean to you?

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    Dec 25, 2013 3:36 PM GMT
    Well, I'm a virgin, and I have a reason for it. When I was in middle school, I was 12 yo back then, the whole school went camping for 2 nights and obviously, everyone slept in tents. One night, I was sleeping but kinda woke up by the noise of someone's unzipping the tent. and then right after I felt something slimy was moving in my mouth. Soon realized that a guy was kissing me. It felt really bad and gross. I was totally grossed out. I pretended to sleep cause I didn't want for things to get awkward and actually had no idea what to do. My first kiss was stolen by a random guy just like that. He just took my chance to share my first kiss someone who I really love. Instead, I learnt a very important lesson. Any sort of physical contact without affection can not only be meaningless but also very gross. I was kinda mentally devastated for a few days after the camping. So I decided not to do any sort of sexual activities unless I have emotional connection with someone.

    I'm not saying one night stand is wrong or disgusting as long as two or more adults agreed to do so. I am just curious about the feelings of the people who enjoy one night stands or even gang bangs. Well I understand that those people have a good time while having sex cause they get orgasm but how do they feel like in the morning lying next to a total stranger or someone who doesn't have any emotional connection.

    I'm very confused because my friends always tell me that I'm wasting my youth so I have to ride as many guys as I can since I'm on my peak now. They also told me to learn and develop my fuck skills for the one who I really love, Saying that nobody expects me to be a virgin in my age and my future partner would not give a shit about it as long as I'm a good fucker or he would love me even more for my advanced sex skills. Since everyone around me says this, I started to find their point very persuasive but at the same time I'm worried about the mental damage I'll get after have a one night stand and lose my virginity to a random guy. I think I would regret it later when I meet a person I truly love for not sharing my first time with him. or do I give too much meaning on sex and virginity? What is your opinion about it and what do you feel after have a random sex if you are an avid one night stander?
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    Dec 25, 2013 3:41 PM GMT


    Everyone's different, Saturn. Sex with someone and love with someone are separate things for some people, and for others, like myself the two are inextricably and directly connected. What matters is what kind you are, and whether or not you stay true to that or try to be what others think you should be.

    Merry Christmas!
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    Dec 25, 2013 3:58 PM GMT

    Merry Christmas, leo! icon_biggrin.gif
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Dec 25, 2013 4:18 PM GMT
    It was a "No Brainer" in my 20's and 30's.

    Today it is not that wanted at all.
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    Dec 26, 2013 1:14 AM GMT
    meninlove, leo Thx and Merry Christmas a little bit late to say this tho haha
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    Dec 26, 2013 3:46 AM GMT
    I personally never had sex just to have sex. I've only had sex with my boyfriend, so I can't really say what the topic means to me, But. I have heard from my other friends that they feel like crap afterwards, that or they just feel even more lonely they when they first started.
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    Dec 27, 2013 5:49 AM GMT
    Are you talking about me? coz the last time I had sex was in march, no dates, no kissing and I just cannot have sex with someone holding a sweetheart in my heart eventhough he knows what he wants!

    I know its super complicated and sometimes I wish I want to be in a room with a hunk! Oh wait! I think even then I will have guilt at every step! icon_sad.gif
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    Dec 27, 2013 5:59 AM GMT
    Man I'm sure glad i didn't wait for true love before having sex. I would still be a virgin and would have missed out on a lot of awesome times. Sex isn't necessarily some magic experience. It's a skill or activity that you practice and get better at. Some good experiences, some terrible, some amazing. Learn learn learn.

    Plus I guess I personally don't see virginity as a treasured prize to give away to the right guy (I thought only girls thought that?) I see it as a lack of experience, which isn't necessarily a good thing.

    That being said, it's your life. Don't do anything you dont want to just because other people think you should.