Anxiety

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 28, 2013 8:57 AM GMT
    When you have anxiety in a relationship do you think It's your gut feeling? Or maybe just an over reaction or insecurity?
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    Dec 28, 2013 9:00 AM GMT
    Think it depends on what triggers the anxiety.
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    Dec 28, 2013 9:06 AM GMT
    Like a ldr,or for example I know I'm terrified of being cheated on since it happened in my first serious relationship now everyone I've dated with I only can trust so much without feeling like I'm setting myself up
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    Dec 28, 2013 9:20 AM GMT
    Behemothboi saidLike a ldr,or for example I know I'm terrified of being cheated on since it happened in my first serious relationship now everyone I've dated with I only can trust so much without feeling like I'm setting myself up

    I would say you need to get rid of this anxiety as it won't do any good for your new relationship. You have to trust your partner. My ex was cheated in previous relationship and he had hard time trusting me. It didn't make me feel good because I felt like I am on constant watch. For a healthy relationship, you need to have mutual trust or it will affect the relationship in a negative way.
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    Dec 28, 2013 10:54 AM GMT
    Behemothboi saidLike a ldr,or for example I know I'm terrified of being cheated on since it happened in my first serious relationship now everyone I've dated with I only can trust so much without feeling like I'm setting myself up


    LDR as in long distance relationship? If that's the case, you need to rethink whether or not you want to be in an LDR because in most cases, they don't work.
  • Alexox

    Posts: 8

    Dec 28, 2013 6:15 PM GMT
    I was in a relationship were the other guy was insecure it felt like I was constantly on trial and being compared to his exes all the time. I was 100% trust worthy but ultimately I had to end it because I constantly felt like shit. Fyi he was the cheat (not important) that's probably not what you want to hear but I think it's important that you know what it's like the being the other person it gives them anxiety and feelings of low worth.
  • mybud

    Posts: 11832

    Dec 28, 2013 8:43 PM GMT
    Anxiety is more about you than the other person..Listen..you're sweet and smart...cute. Believe in you, and what makes you ..You.. cause that guy is pretty fuckin fantastic...
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    Dec 28, 2013 8:47 PM GMT
    Usually the only time I have anxiety is when I first meet someone. It goes away pretty quickly so once I get to know them.
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    Dec 28, 2013 8:52 PM GMT
    <--- Overly anxious guy here. Through mutual trust your relationship will flourish. Attempt to channel your anxiety into other avenues. Have open and honest conversations about what you're anxious about. Reserve true anxiety for clear warning signs that something is happening.

    And anyone that would dare cheat on you is a fool. You are beautiful. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Dec 28, 2013 9:17 PM GMT
    It is your gut feeling. When you know something is wrong, something is most definitely wrong. Go with your gut instinct for sure. I have and I ended up to be right!!!
  • WolfInSpace

    Posts: 13

    Dec 28, 2013 9:51 PM GMT
    JJDUDE saidHave open and honest conversations about what you're anxious about.


    I agree with JJDUDE. Communication and expectation setting is super important. The rest is trust.
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    Dec 28, 2013 9:54 PM GMT
    I'm the same. I've been lied to and betrayed so many times that it's pretty much impossible for me to trust any future guy. I agree that if it's a long distance relationship, it most likely won't work out icon_sad.gif
  • DanOmatic

    Posts: 1155

    Dec 29, 2013 1:18 AM GMT
    We are all wired differently. While it's natural to have that feeling of butterflies in our stomachs when we are really into someone, for me personally, if I feel anxious about it in an unpleasant way, I've learned to pay attention to it. In more than a couple of instances, it was my intuition telling me that things weren't as they seemed--or more accurately, things weren't as I wanted to make them out to seem. That subconscious struggle manifests itself in such instances as anxiety for me, and is usually a signal to proceed with caution.
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    Dec 29, 2013 1:24 AM GMT
    Don't make the mistake of bringing the past into current relationships. Whatever new guy you're with is NOT responsible for the things your last guy did to you. I know you know that intellectually----but you have to know it emotionally or it's doomed before you begin.
  • blueandgold

    Posts: 396

    Dec 29, 2013 2:07 AM GMT
    I used to have similar anxiety about a guy I was dating. I told my sister about it and she told me to make a decision: either I trust him or I don't. There is no in between. And without trust, there really isn't a relationship worth having in the long run.

    Well, I didn't trust this guy. We broke up shortly thereafter and it was a very good move.

    So make a decision!