Liking straight guys

  • scothman

    Posts: 153

    Dec 11, 2008 11:29 AM GMT
    Ok, so I have liked one of my best friends for like 8 months now and it is freakin annoying. I can never find a guy I actually approve of for myself but he is perfect in every way. The worst thing is, I dont know if he is gay or not, haha. He has a gf but I get random hints and I dont know what to think. Any advice?
  • scothman

    Posts: 153

    Dec 11, 2008 11:31 AM GMT
    Oh, and has anyone else had this problem?
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    Dec 11, 2008 12:40 PM GMT
    I do, but its very short lived, I get a crush and then in about a month its all over and they are mate icon_smile.gif

    Really, you just gotta accept that they aren't for you romantically, there a friend, thats all, enjoy it.
  • emailaddress

    Posts: 313

    Dec 11, 2008 12:54 PM GMT
    i wish I could have all the men in the world as well, only if.
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    Dec 11, 2008 4:11 PM GMT
    YES, WE'VE ALL HAD THIS PROBLEM AND HAVE ALL HAD TO DO THE SAME THING: GET OVER IT!!! And do it fast before it ruins a friendship!
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    Dec 11, 2008 4:37 PM GMT
    looknrnd saidYES, WE'VE ALL HAD THIS PROBLEM AND HAVE ALL HAD TO DO THE SAME THING: GET OVER IT!!! And do it fast before it ruins a friendship!


    Ditto.
    I have had crushes on ALL my closest straight friends (male and female). It makes sense to me because our friendships are incredibly meaningful. But yeah, you gotta get over the romantic fantasies. Or you'll potentially have a big ole mess on your hands.
  • TexanMan82

    Posts: 893

    Dec 11, 2008 4:39 PM GMT
    I think this is a right of passage for all gay men. Having that major crush on a straight friend.

    Get over it. We all have to, eventually.
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    Dec 12, 2008 12:54 AM GMT
    If he's got a girlfriend and he hasn't told you he's gay, chances are not on your side my friend.

    Wires get crossed in close friendships, he's probably sending out confusing signals, but the chances are, if you tell him you fancy him, you'll damage your friendship.

    Whatever you do, don't make a big drama out of it. No need to tell him you love him at the top of the Eiffel Tower.
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    Dec 12, 2008 1:05 AM GMT
    I will always have a major crush on a friend who is straight and so dreamy hot. I just deal with it...He is straight, into girls 100%...so we know what a lot of the girls who hang out and fall in love with gay guys must feel like.
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    Dec 12, 2008 1:10 AM GMT
    luckily I have not had this problem, but I have had the problem of liking straight guys.... trust me, its best to just forget about it. If it just so happens that he tries something with you though, do it smartly! lol
  • vindog

    Posts: 1440

    Dec 12, 2008 1:12 AM GMT
    always.



  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 12, 2008 1:13 AM GMT
    scothman saidOk, so I have liked one of my best friends for like 8 months now and it is freakin annoying. I can never find a guy I actually approve of for myself but he is perfect in every way. The worst thing is, I dont know if he is gay or not, haha. He has a gf but I get random hints and I dont know what to think. Any advice?


    You sound desperate and pathetic.
  • EricLA

    Posts: 3461

    Dec 12, 2008 1:19 AM GMT
    Well, some guys here are being harsh (we've seen this thread a few times), but you should try to let it go. Chances are you can do more damage to your relationship, even if he is gay and closeted. Do you really want to ruin a friendship?

    But, if you do choose to pursue him, assuming you're out to him, tell him that you're really finding it difficult to meet quality guys. See where he takes the conversation. But, volunteering that you're looking for a guy like him might freak him the hell out.

    Again, you're probably best off getting your mind off this guy. Heed the warnings above.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 12, 2008 1:19 AM GMT
    con - no, he is just a boy who likes koalas who has a crush on a straight guy
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    Dec 12, 2008 5:17 AM GMT
    bryanedwardclark said
    looknrnd saidYES, WE'VE ALL HAD THIS PROBLEM AND HAVE ALL HAD TO DO THE SAME THING: GET OVER IT!!! And do it fast before it ruins a friendship!


    Ditto.
    I have had crushes on ALL my closest straight friends (male and female). It makes sense to me because our friendships are incredibly meaningful. But yeah, you gotta get over the romantic fantasies. Or you'll potentially have a big ole mess on your hands.


    haha. Not to toot my own horn but some of my close friends (male and female) have admitted having crushes on me. Its pretty weird.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 12, 2008 5:23 AM GMT
    QUOTE AUTHOR GOES HEREThe worst thing is, I dont know if he is gay or not, haha.


    I have this problem often enough. It used to suck because I could never tell if they were gay and if I should do something. I found the solution though. I just tell them (well, I sort of let it come up in conversation, so it's not as awkward haha). So if there's a conversation talking about people we may like, I bring it up. Or if they ask me who I think looks best in a group of friends I tell them again (strange how straight people seem to want me to judge how good they look all the time). That then puts the ball in their court. I don't have to be annoyed by thoughts like "well, what if I said something" any more. It's great. Still sucks not to be able to get them tho but it's so much easier.
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    Dec 12, 2008 5:32 AM GMT
    lilTanker saidI do, but its very short lived, I get a crush and then in about a month its all over and they are mate icon_smile.gif

    Really, you just gotta accept that they aren't for you romantically, there a friend, thats all, enjoy it.


    you're so wise icon_redface.gificon_wink.gif
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    Dec 12, 2008 5:38 AM GMT
    Yes, yes and yes. I think lots of gay men have been afflicted with this scenerio. I'm not really too sure if it's whether they are staright or just the fact that they attractive that gets me. Since I'm not a fan of the whole "gaydar" thing I tend to just like guys who are attractive with attractive quailities. The majority of them just happen to be straight it seems.

    Knowing that I don't ket my feelings get the best of me. I'm not in the habit of trying to convert straight guys.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 12, 2008 5:59 AM GMT
    QUOTE The majority of them just happen tobe straight it seems.


    Well the majority of men in general are straight so this is hardly surprising if you're the type of person who interacts with both.
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    Dec 12, 2008 6:18 AM GMT
    Yes. I interact with all types of people. Obvisously their sexual prefernce isn't an issue if I find them attractive. It only becomes one if I want more then just an attraction.

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    Dec 12, 2008 7:06 AM GMT
    Yeah man, I pretty much agree with the guys in here. You have to look beyond your feelings sometimes and bring yourself back to reality. I know this isn't what you want to hear, but it's the truth. I've been in your shoes many, many times before. Every time you look at your friend just remind yourself that he's your friend, and enjoy that feeling. I got over my feelings and have kept my friendships in tact - some have lasted for over a decade. I wouldn't trade that for anything in the world.

    Take care man
    Nick
  • scothman

    Posts: 153

    Dec 12, 2008 9:50 AM GMT
    concealed said
    scothman saidOk, so I have liked one of my best friends for like 8 months now and it is freakin annoying. I can never find a guy I actually approve of for myself but he is perfect in every way. The worst thing is, I dont know if he is gay or not, haha. He has a gf but I get random hints and I dont know what to think. Any advice?


    You sound desperate and pathetic.


    Haha, me desperate? That is a good one; if only that were the case.
  • RSportsguy

    Posts: 1925

    Dec 12, 2008 10:07 AM GMT
    I agree with what most of the posters here have said!. You can save yourself a lot of heartache now if you can somehow get over this infatuation and settle for being good friends. Good luck Scothman! icon_biggrin.gif