Why are young gay guys so flakey and stuck up?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 30, 2013 5:18 PM GMT
    I've noticed younger gay guys are real flakes and standoffish. They have this preconceived perfect image in their heads of what a guy should like and if you're not up to those standards they want nothing to do with you?

    Does this change as they get older because I'm 24 and have never even had a date and its starting to bother me
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 30, 2013 5:27 PM GMT
    Not really, but people get more desperate. Look at darkrooms for example. If you went up to a darkroom fan and asked them on a date, they would have a laundry list of requirements but in that darkroom all you need is an orifice.
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Dec 30, 2013 5:38 PM GMT
    Because they're young, immature, generally insecure under the gloss of being 'stuck up' and superficial.

    Instead, lets ask what are you bringing to the table? Your profile doesn't exactly tell us much about you except you think you're chill, masculine, down to earth and good looking. Just a guy.

    Nothing wrong with that necessarily but you aren't getting dates -- so what's up? Is it really all about young stuck up flakey gay guys?
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Dec 30, 2013 5:40 PM GMT
    I think people are so bent on finding the one that they limit themselves. They want the one to be perfect and meet some ideal in their head, but that's not really how it works. When you're faithful to one person it's because you love them, not because you have found the only attractive person. I think as many people get older they realize that lots of people of a wide variety are attractive and wonderful, and finding one to love isn't about narrowing down the playing field, it's about committing to love after you find it and making the connection grow and last. When people realize this they do end up seeming more mature and empathetic, and to that end some guys do grow up... However, guys who are over 30 who won't date anyone over 25 seem to be resisting change. There are some people who can only view the person they're with as a reflection of their own success or failure, which is sad... It's not about what you can get from someone, it's about what you can give them, and material gifts matter the least when it comes to love.
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Dec 30, 2013 5:50 PM GMT
    HottJoe saidI think people are so bent on finding the one that they limit themselves. They want the one to be perfect and meet some ideal in their head, but that's not really how it works. When you're faithful to one person it's because you love them, not because you have found the only attractive person. I think as many people get older they realize that lots of people of a wide variety are attractive and wonderful, and finding one to love isn't about narrowing down the playing field, it's about committing to love after you find it and making the connection grow and last. When people realize this they do end up seeming more mature and empathetic, and to that end some guys do grow up... However, guys who are over 30 who won't date anyone over 25 seem to be resisting change. There are some people who can only view the person they're with as a reflection of their own success or failure, which is sad... It's not about what you can get from someone, it's about what you can give them, and material gifts matter the least when it comes to love.

    Understanding this as you do shows how wise and mature you are, HJ. Questions: Were you always this way? If not, how were you before and at what point did you begin to understand things this way?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 30, 2013 6:42 PM GMT
    It's sad to read that I am flake and standoffish only because I am several months younger than OP.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 30, 2013 7:06 PM GMT
    Maybe OP is looking for love in all the wrong places?