Starting to accept who you are

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    Dec 30, 2013 6:58 PM GMT
    I wanted to come to a forum to talk with people that has more experience in the matter i came out with my family and some of my friends but still a little bit hard for me the part of accepting im gay, its kinda weird to be honest, i mean that wont stop me from walking forward but yes its a little frightening the idea of having a relationship with another man, i mean i`ve never picture the idea of lets say in the future being married to a guy or entering on thinking to adopt or stuff like that i mean maybe im just rushing in the idea, but i did kinda wanted to have children on my own and well not just that is about getting the full idea of introducing a boyfroend to the family and stuff like that its a little weird to me, might be just new and thats why is scary just a little bit... whatever if anybody ever taught on this and knows what im talking about i could use some words of someone that has being on the same situation, take care anyways
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    Dec 30, 2013 7:00 PM GMT
    rockerman saidI wanted to come to a forum to talk with people that has more experience in the matter i came out with my family and some of my friends but still a little bit hard for me the part of accepting im gay, its kinda weird to be honest, i mean that wont stop me from walking forward but yes its a little frightening the idea of having a relationship with another man, i mean i`ve never picture the idea of lets say in the future being married to a guy or entering on thinking to adopt or stuff like that i mean maybe im just rushing in the idea, but i did kinda wanted to have children on my own and well not just that is about getting the full idea of introducing a boyfroend to the family and stuff like that its a little weird to me, might be just new and thats why is scary just a little bit... whatever if anybody ever taught on this and knows what im talking about i could use some words of someone that has being on the same situation, take care anyways


    Coming out can be tough but there is always support and you are not alone. How long have you known?
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    Dec 30, 2013 7:04 PM GMT
    Ive known probably since middle school but i had to take down some old beliegs such as church or my own culture, so it has being tough i guess but i figure i couldnt live like that any more under what i was told that was right, now my family understands but i still find it a little weird on my side
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    Dec 30, 2013 7:21 PM GMT
    rockerman saidIve known probably since middle school but i had to take down some old beliegs such as church or my own culture, so it has being tough i guess but i figure i couldnt live like that any more under what i was told that was right, now my family understands but i still find it a little weird on my side


    I have come out to close friends first. Then my family. But it is different for everyone. In time, they will accept you as you are. Sexuality is not a choice and it's not like you chose to be gay. It is what it is. Is there a GLBT support group where you live?
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    Dec 30, 2013 7:26 PM GMT
    Being with a guy isn't that different from being with a woman, except after sex you can eat pizza in bed.icon_cool.gif
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    Dec 30, 2013 7:29 PM GMT
    Truppensturm saidBeing with a guy isn't that different from being with a woman, except after sex you can eat pizza in bed.icon_cool.gif


    How does that work?
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    Dec 30, 2013 11:03 PM GMT
    Take it from someone who just came out today - you do it in YOUR time, no one else's. Often in stages too (I told my family and closer friends I was bi several years ago, and by the end of today everyone on my FB will know). Don't ever feel the need to rush on your journey to self-discovery. I'm still learning too, we all are...
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    Dec 30, 2013 11:51 PM GMT
    FutureBanana said
    rockerman saidIve known probably since middle school but i had to take down some old beliegs such as church or my own culture, so it has being tough i guess but i figure i couldnt live like that any more under what i was told that was right, now my family understands but i still find it a little weird on my side


    I have come out to close friends first. Then my family. But it is different for everyone. In time, they will accept you as you are. Sexuality is not a choice and it's not like you chose to be gay. It is what it is. Is there a GLBT support group where you live?


    There isnt any of those in where i live but im feeling a lot of support with my family and some of my friends witch is really cool i think ill be allright at the support situation it is true what ikilledcaptai said its diferent accepting it than realizing it i think im in the middle of both but i face one of my biggest fear witch it was telling my family everithing seems just a little easier there is just my dad left to tell but i dont see him so often... and he is another step i have to give... a pretty hard step i should admit
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    Dec 30, 2013 11:59 PM GMT
    ikilledcaptainplanet said
    juvenescences saidTake it from someone who just came out today - you do it in YOUR time, no one else's. Often in stages too (I told my family and closer friends I was bi several years ago, and by the end of today everyone on my FB will know). Don't ever feel the need to rush on your journey to self-discovery. I'm still learning too, we all are...


    congratulations.

    don't think dude is talking about coming out. he's more of like acting it out. the realization of him being gay hasn't really hit.

    hell, speaking for myself, i can't even bring myself to even act it out. i can't bring myself to kiss another dude without being scared shitless, let alone dating or even getting into a relationship. it's a wonderful thought inside the mind BUT outside it, it's like basically climbing mount everest. like even if it were a guy who i like and me in my room with no one here, i would be reluctant like "i dunno".


    You know what i talk about bro thanks for the advice im ready to do it you know i know sex can be good but i rather a relationship, i guess im just a one guy type of guy so im ready to face the fear that was actually the reason or a strong reason for me to come back to my hometown, to fix every pending buissnes and face what i taught i feared the most with it was the rejection of my family, now its about me living what i think is the best for me to live icon_smile.gif
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    Dec 31, 2013 12:08 AM GMT
    rockerman said
    You know what i talk about bro thanks for the advice im ready to do it you know i know sex can be good but i rather a relationship, i guess im just a one guy type of guy so im ready to face the fear that was actually the reason or a strong reason for me to come back to my hometown, to fix every pending buissnes and face what i taught i feared the most with it was the rejection of my family, now its about me living what i think is the best for me to live icon_smile.gif

    Since you also understand church culture, know that in whatever you do you should honour your father and mother. That doesn't mean blindly agreeing with everything they say or stopping yourself from living your own life. It means that if your parents "disagree with your lifestyle" (as mine have said to me), you don't slander them to your friends and the people around you. To those around you, you say that you agree to disagree with your parents and praise your parents for helping you grow up to be the amazing guy that you are. This leaves no room for anyone to pull the Christian martyrdom card, and instead allows you to demonstrate a depth of character that is no less than divine in nature.
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    Dec 31, 2013 12:27 AM GMT
    juvenescences said
    rockerman said
    You know what i talk about bro thanks for the advice im ready to do it you know i know sex can be good but i rather a relationship, i guess im just a one guy type of guy so im ready to face the fear that was actually the reason or a strong reason for me to come back to my hometown, to fix every pending buissnes and face what i taught i feared the most with it was the rejection of my family, now its about me living what i think is the best for me to live icon_smile.gif

    Since you also understand church culture, know that in whatever you do you should honour your father and mother. That doesn't mean blindly agreeing with everything they say or stopping yourself from living your own life. It means that if your parents "disagree with your lifestyle" (as mine have said to me), you don't slander them to your friends and the people around you. To those around you, you say that you agree to disagree with your parents and praise your parents for helping you grow up to be the amazing guy that you are. This leaves no room for anyone to pull the Christian martyrdom card, and instead allows you to demonstrate a depth of character that is no less than divine in nature.


    That is a really good taught bro, i dont know how would i react if my mother would refuse to accept it, when i told her she was shocked and left for a minute but i understanded that its hard for her because she wasnt raised that way since i wasnt either i told her i understanded she needed some time but in the same night she told me she was ok with it and witch i taught it was really cool she was making an eftord to accept it, with my father it is a little bit more complex but ill keep in mind that advice since i dont want to generate another unresolve conflict on my end you know