Traits of a Sociopath/Psychopath

  • allamericantx

    Posts: 140

    Sep 19, 2007 6:52 PM GMT

    I did some homework after getting flack from a number of guys on here after posting my question of "Why can't we be honest" - I was accused of being "intolerant" and not being open minded to people's situations....and to a degree, I think that may be true.

    I obviously do have an issue with secrecy, and I took the advice of some guys to go figure out what was bothering me.

    Instead of finding research that would explain MY issue, I actually found something that expained my hyper-awareness of secretive behavior in men and validated why I hate it so much. Now, maybe I jumped the gun and was too harsh - and I'm NOT saying people on here are Sociopaths or Psychopaths.

    But for fun, read this - it's fascinating. It does help me understand why I am sensitive to secrecy and excuses for being so (especially on a gay/bi workout & fitness website where people are paranoid someone in their family will find them).

    Again, I'm not saying anyone on here is a Sociopath so don't give me any shit! But it sure does explain my intolerance for excuses and why I don't buy them easily. (taken from


    Think you can spot one? Think again. In general, psychopaths aren't the product of broken homes or the casualties of a materialistic society. Rather they come from all walks of life and there is little evidence that their upbringing affects them.

    Psychopath. We hear the word and images of Bernardo, Manson and Dahmer pop into our heads; no doubt Ted Bundy too. But they're the bottom of the barrel -- most of the TWO MILLION psychopaths in North America aren't murderers.

    They're our friends, lovers and co-workers. They're outgoing and persuasive, dazzling you with charm and flattery. Often you aren't even aware they've taken you for a ride -- until it's too late:

    1. Glibness and Superficial Charm

    2. Manipulative and Conning
    - They never recognize the rights of others and see their self-serving behaviors as permissible.

    3. Grandiose Sense of Self
    - Feels entitled to certain things as "their right."

    4. Pathological Lying

    5. Lack of Remorse, Shame or Guilt
    - A deep seated rage, which is split off and REPRESSED......The end always justifies the means and they let nothing stand in their way.

    6. Shallow Emotions

    7. Incapacity for Love

    8. Need for Stimulation
    - Promiscuity and gambling are common.

    9. Callousness/Lack of Empathy

    10. Poor Behavioral Controls/Impulsive Nature
    - Believe they entitled to every wish, no sense of personal boundaries, no concern for their impact on others.

    11. Promiscuous Sexual Behavior/Infidelity

    12. Criminal or Entrepreneurial Versatility
    - Changes their image as needed to avoid prosecution. Changes life story readily.


    "Psychopaths play on the fact that most of us are TRUSTING and forgiving people," adds Seto.

    For a psychopath, a romantic relationship is just another opportunity to find a trusting partner who will buy into the lies. It's primarily why a psychopath rarely stays in a relationship for the long term, and often is involved with three or four partners at once, says Willson. To a psychopath, everything about a relationship is a game.

    The problem with their game is that we don't often play by their rules. Where we might occasionally tell a white lie, a psychopath's lying is compulsive. Most of us experience some degree of guilt about lying, preventing us from exhibiting such behavior on a regular basis. "Psychopaths don't discriminate who it is they lie to or cheat," says Seto. "There's no distinction between friend, family and sucker."

    Antisocial Personality Disorder Overview:

    Antisocial Personality Disorder results in what is commonly known as a Sociopath. People with this disorder appear to be charming at times, and make relationships, but to them, these are relationships in name only. They are ended whenever necessary or when it suits them, and the relationships are without depth or meaning, including marriages. They seem to have an innate ability to find the weakness in people, and are ready to use these weaknesses to their own ends through deceit, manipulation, or intimidation, and gain pleasure from doing so.

    Related Qualities of a Sociopath:

    1. Contemptuous of those who seek to understand them
    2. Does not perceive that anything is wrong with them
    3. Authoritarian
    4. Secretive
    5. Paranoid
    6. Only rarely in difficulty with the law, but seeks out situations where their tyrannical behavior will be tolerated, condoned, or admired
    7. Conventional appearance


  • Laurence

    Posts: 942

    Sep 19, 2007 6:57 PM GMT
    Yawn. Haven't you got anything better to do than post these long, boring posts?

    Trying to be contentious makes you look stupid.

  • allamericantx

    Posts: 140

    Sep 19, 2007 7:05 PM GMT

    another personal attack from you Loz makes you look like the asshole that you really are

  • Laurence

    Posts: 942

    Sep 19, 2007 7:14 PM GMT
    Yes, you must be doing something right to get slagged off be a nice guy like me.


  • allamericantx

    Posts: 140

    Sep 19, 2007 7:22 PM GMT

    Loz's profile: "I try to be a decent person and not be judgemental."

    Me: try harder.....a LOT harder
  • allamericantx

    Posts: 140

    Sep 19, 2007 7:29 PM GMT

    Loz's profile: "I.... and am finding the forums interesting for their differing opinions."

    Me: not unless it's about anus, penis, and random anonymous sex and crack rocks. I'm so tired one one-dimensional homosexuals.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 19, 2007 8:48 PM GMT
    Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
  • iHavok

    Posts: 1477

    Sep 19, 2007 8:49 PM GMT
    Great so now I have to worry about being a psycopath because I have some of the traits.
    Jeez! LOL!
    I wonder if trying to put down my fears as possibly hypochondriac is just another way of being manipulative and a pathalogical liar...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 19, 2007 8:54 PM GMT
    <--- was diagnosed with anti-social (sociopathic) and borderline personality disorder in HS.

    Just sayin.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 19, 2007 8:58 PM GMT
    WOW...WOW...WOW...NO LIE HERE....the definition of a psychopath....fits my ex-wife to a T. Im going to print this out and give it to her....because its her....everything it describes a psychopath does...she does and/or did in our marriage....THANKS!!
  • allamericantx

    Posts: 140

    Sep 19, 2007 9:12 PM GMT

    MascJockATL, I'm glad you got something out of it - I made DAMN CLEAR in the beginning this isn't about anyone from RealJock - it's more about MY fears of why I'm so bothered by people being "secretive".

    It came up last night when listening to CNN regarding the Simpson arrest in Vegas and Dr. Drew Pinsky said O.J. Simpson was a Sociopath. I simply typed in Sociopath into my web browser and pushed enter to see what the hell a Sociopath was BY DEFINITION, and this is what came up.

    I posted it because it fits MY EX to a tee.....that guy had so many damn excuses for his behavior. I will say that it does also sound a lot like a lot of men PERIOD.

    But like always, the flamming, overly sensitive, emotionally damaged homos who can't stand criticism think it's aimed at them (it's always about them anyway) so here they come, bitching and complaining.

    It's always the same ones, too. They whine on EVERY board that sounds remotely close to "responsibility" and "moral conduct". It's beginning to really piss me off.

  • allamericantx

    Posts: 140

    Sep 19, 2007 9:18 PM GMT

    Hey, seriously, go to the website and read it for yourself. It's FASCINATING. You realize like it says in the beginning, that there are TWO MILLION of these people in the U.S. alone, and the notorious ones (Bundy, etc) are the least common of them.

    The most common ones are the ones that you can never pin down....perpetual liars, excuse makers, scapegoat-ers, blame deflectors, etc and never take responsibility - and MAKE YOU feel guilty if you ask for accountability for THEIR actions.

    Like guys who screw everything with a penis and a pulse, then catch something nasty, and blame Bush for it.

    (oh no he didn't......) :>
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 19, 2007 9:20 PM GMT
    I personally think that being slightly sociopathic makes me fun and interesting.

    OK. Maybe being a sociopath is just wishful thinking. I guess I'll just stick to boring.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 19, 2007 9:21 PM GMT
    dude, I'm sure must people didn't call you psychopath thinking about the real meaning of the is something people just calling!

    as cute as I think you are I also think you might have a little bit of a temper and VERY STRONG oppinions, which would piss people off.....ok! I'm running now!!!
  • MikePhilPerez

    Posts: 4357

    Sep 19, 2007 9:22 PM GMT
    If you read that stuff for long enough you will turn into one.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 19, 2007 9:25 PM GMT
    turn into a forum-opath? Are there traits for that?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 19, 2007 9:26 PM GMT
    I wonder how many of these so-called sociopaths/psychopaths really have what's called "asperger's syndrome"? It's a mild form of austism. Google it.
  • allamericantx

    Posts: 140

    Sep 19, 2007 9:32 PM GMT

    that's why RuggerATX won't commit to many times as I have taken him to dinner and tried to be "romantic".....LOL j/k

    but seriously, RuggerATX is really, really cute as hell in person. and sweeeeeeeeeet.....anyone who ends up with him will be a winner........(sappy moment of truth)

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 19, 2007 9:36 PM GMT
    I don't think sociopaths or psychopaths would have asperger's considering that generally prevents you from reading things such as body language and cues very well, which psychopaths need to read very well in order to put on their facade effectively.
  • MikePhilPerez

    Posts: 4357

    Sep 19, 2007 9:37 PM GMT
    Oh boy, Run Rugger Run
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 19, 2007 9:41 PM GMT
    Haha thanks AllAmericanTX. Check's in the mail. ;-)

    Now shut that damn thing off and get out of the house will ya? It's gorgeous out today and the Austin streets are oozing with hotness of all flavors.

    /side chatter (and being on my couch)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 19, 2007 9:44 PM GMT
    Very good point, Rune. Thanks.

    I definitely see some overlap though, at least superfically. I've just seen a couple of Asperger's guys get a bad rap. I even railed into someone that I think might have had AS, before knowing about AS. "Live and let live" would have served me well in that case.
  • allamericantx

    Posts: 140

    Sep 19, 2007 9:50 PM GMT

    Rune, you make a very good point regarding facade!!

    There's a book called "The Velvet Rage" written by a psychologist and details stories of his patient's lives. His practice focused on gay men, and a lot of it had to do with them living lives built on facade and how it all came crashing down in the end and they lost everything.

    It's a sad but true book. They lived the traits listed above to create two lives, and in the end, lost everything.....and it was all about the facades they would put up in order to do so. The facade was critical to their ways of coping with the world. They never committed to anything, just whatever worked from moment to moment.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 19, 2007 10:10 PM GMT
    People tend to not know what psychopath means if they call random people that heh. I think the defining characteristic is lack of conscience. I mean, pathological lying.. meh, a lot of people do that who aren't sociopaths. Manipulative? Again, a lot of people. Psychopath requires that one has no conscience. The way I see it is that somewhere along the lines we developed a conscience so as to protect our genes (notice how conscience is always stronger the closer somethign is to you? You might not feel bad about stepping on an ant, a little bad for shooting a bunny, very bad for shooting a human, and unimaginably horrible for shooting your family member). Psychopaths probably have some defect in brain chemistry or some such and don't have a conscience. I'm not even sure if I can be angry at psycopaths for what they do. Sure, it's easy for us to say how horrible they are when we're genetically programmed to experience things that way. But put yourself in their shoes for a change. If you had no conscience, what would be the most natural thing to do? Without conscience nothing prevents you from being selfish... except maybe lithium which doesn't cure you but does sort of dull you and prevents you from being too overly ambitious.

    Btw, psychopaths put on facades because they realize it is how they will get ahead, not because they're afraid of something or are hiding. They know if they pretend to be like the rest of us that they will be at a huge advantage over us. If we know someone has no conscience we immediatly lose regard for them as well, leveling the playing field. But if we don't know.. we get fucked.
  • allamericantx

    Posts: 140

    Sep 19, 2007 10:43 PM GMT

    Psychopaths DO have a conscience - that's why it's psycho. They just don't give a shit who gets hurt. It's all about selfishness and self-centeredness from what it sounds like. Now, those are my words, but the character traits are taken directly from the study group's and studies' webpage.