I know it's wrong

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 31, 2013 5:32 PM GMT
    Hi, I'm new here and very sheepish!

    I'm a married man of 20 years, and over the last few years i'm getting a big urge to try male on male sex.......More interested in sucking a cock. Although anal is something i'd consider.
    This is the reason i'm here!
    Is this just fantasy, and i should keep it in my head. Or are these urges real? And how do i go about fulfilling them without hurting my wife. At the end of the day, she has nothing to do with my interest in men.
    I've been self eating my cum for years.....And really would like the taste of another man in my mouth.
    I'm very confused......I want to try, but i want to be careful.

    Very confused.........Advice would be very welcome.
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    Dec 31, 2013 5:34 PM GMT
    I call fakey.
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    Dec 31, 2013 5:35 PM GMT
    Humbleman saidHi, I'm new here and very sheepish!

    I'm a married man of 20 years, and over the last few years i'm getting a big urge to try male on male sex.......More interested in sucking a cock. Although anal is something i'd consider.
    This is the reason i'm here!
    Is this just fantasy, and i should keep it in my head. Or are these urges real? And how do i go about fulfilling them without hurting my wife. At the end of the day, she has nothing to do with my interest in men.
    I've been self eating my cum for years.....And really would like the taste of another man in my mouth.
    I'm very confused......I want to try, but i want to be careful.

    Very confused.........Advice would be very welcome.


    Then you're here for the wrong reasons. Try Grindr.

    In the meantime, you might fill out your profile and verify your pic. We've a troll problem on here.

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    Dec 31, 2013 5:36 PM GMT

    "And how do i go about fulfilling them without hurting my wife."

    D'oh. Srsly?
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    Dec 31, 2013 5:37 PM GMT
    Assuming you're for real....

    "And how do i go about fulfilling them without hurting my wife."

    Why don't you ask her?

    No one ever takes the advice they ask for on here, but here goes.........get a therapist. And not a pseudo therapist your pastor directs you to, but a real one. They can help you decide how to process these feelings.

    But the most important advice I can give you is......do not have sex with another man while you're married. The guilt and shame it will cause inside yourself and the betrayal of your wife is not worth it. A qualified therapist can help you sort all this out.
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    Dec 31, 2013 5:39 PM GMT
    Yeah! I am for real.........And it took alot of guts for me to enter a gay site. I'm not a troll......Help would be good. FFS!
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    Dec 31, 2013 5:41 PM GMT
    Scruffypup saidAssuming you're for real....

    "And how do i go about fulfilling them without hurting my wife."

    Why don't you ask her?

    No one ever takes the advice they ask for on here, but here goes.........get a therapist. And not a pseudo therapist your pastor directs you to, but a real one. They can help you decide how to process these feelings.

    But the most important advice I can give you is......do not have sex with another man while you're married. The guilt and shame it will cause inside yourself and the betrayal of your wife is not worth it. A qualified therapist can help you sort all this out.


    Thank you.............It's the guilt thing. Glad you took me seriously.
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    Dec 31, 2013 5:42 PM GMT
    Humbleman saidYeah! I am for real.........And it took alot of guts for me to enter a gay site. I'm not a troll......Help would be good. FFS!


    Alright then, for a moment I'll suspend disbelief and go along with you. I take it you're BI. You made a choice and married a gal. I trust this was done with honest love and attraction to her.

    Yes?
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    Dec 31, 2013 5:45 PM GMT
    meninlove said
    Humbleman saidYeah! I am for real.........And it took alot of guts for me to enter a gay site. I'm not a troll......Help would be good. FFS!


    Alright then, for a moment I'll suspend disbelief and go along with you. I take it you're BI. You made a choice and married a gal. I trust this was done with honest love and attraction to her.

    Yes?


    Yes......100%
    And i am for real.........Why after so many years, am i getting these feelings.
    We still have sex.......Ok not as much, but my attraction for men at the moment is quite intense!

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    Dec 31, 2013 5:46 PM GMT
    Humbleman said
    Scruffypup saidAssuming you're for real....

    "And how do i go about fulfilling them without hurting my wife."

    Why don't you ask her?

    No one ever takes the advice they ask for on here, but here goes.........get a therapist. And not a pseudo therapist your pastor directs you to, but a real one. They can help you decide how to process these feelings.

    But the most important advice I can give you is......do not have sex with another man while you're married. The guilt and shame it will cause inside yourself and the betrayal of your wife is not worth it. A qualified therapist can help you sort all this out.


    Thank you.............It's the guilt thing. Glad you took me seriously.



    So you already know that cheating is not the answer, correct? You didn't mention what you thought about a therapist.
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    Dec 31, 2013 5:47 PM GMT
    Look........Maybe i came to the wrong place. I assume with my feelings i'm a non practising Bi-guy...
    Maybe i thought other guys had gone through what i'm feeling on this site......Judging from some of the replies...I need to go else where.

    Thanks.....icon_redface.gif
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    Dec 31, 2013 5:49 PM GMT
    Scruffypup said
    Humbleman said
    Scruffypup saidAssuming you're for real....

    "And how do i go about fulfilling them without hurting my wife."

    Why don't you ask her?

    No one ever takes the advice they ask for on here, but here goes.........get a therapist. And not a pseudo therapist your pastor directs you to, but a real one. They can help you decide how to process these feelings.

    But the most important advice I can give you is......do not have sex with another man while you're married. The guilt and shame it will cause inside yourself and the betrayal of your wife is not worth it. A qualified therapist can help you sort all this out.


    Thank you.............It's the guilt thing. Glad you took me seriously.



    So you already know that cheating is not the answer, correct? You didn't mention what you thought about a therapist.


    Cheating is never good.
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    Dec 31, 2013 5:51 PM GMT
    woodsmen saidNot sure I am on board with your story. If you are bi, you would be attracted to a person whether female or male but not "men" in general.


    I'm still attracted to women...But men are fore front in my mind.
    Should i just take it as fantasy? Is that what you're saying?
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    Dec 31, 2013 5:55 PM GMT
    I need to go........It's new years eve where i am.....Hope you all have a great 2014......I'll be back tomorrow so you can all give me shit some more.......!
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    Dec 31, 2013 5:56 PM GMT
    Humbleman saidLook........Maybe i came to the wrong place. I assume with my feelings i'm a non practising Bi-guy...
    Maybe i thought other guys had gone through what i'm feeling on this site......Judging from some of the replies...I need to go else where...

    You've got to admit that joining a group and immediately making a post "Hi I'm a humble guy and I like to eat my own cum" is a strange way to be looking for advice about bisexuality.
    I'm curious though. Are there any other guys here who were heterosexualy married for almost 20 years and *then* start having thoughts about men?
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    Dec 31, 2013 5:58 PM GMT
    Humbleman saidLook........Maybe i came to the wrong place. I assume with my feelings i'm a non practising Bi-guy...
    Maybe i thought other guys had gone through what i'm feeling on this site......Judging from some of the replies...I need to go else where.

    Thanks.....icon_redface.gif


    I think a few of us are rather surprised that you would put a sex fantasy ahead of a real love to the point of going to a gay site. There are Bi sites out there, too.
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    Dec 31, 2013 5:59 PM GMT
    As usual, I suggested a therapist TWICE, and he still has not commented about the suggestion. I say fuck this guy.
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    Dec 31, 2013 6:01 PM GMT
    She might be up for a threesome. Maybe you could tactfully raise the matter as part of a wider discussion about fantasies (including hers). If you have not talked much about this sort of thing in the past, it will be very difficult to hit the right note. Maybe with something like "would you think it was hot watching me kiss another man?"
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    Dec 31, 2013 6:03 PM GMT
    We don't really do therapists in the UK.....We try to help ourselves..........Hence the reason i'm here....I really thought you could be more helpful......But because i'm not 100% gay...........Just give shit.
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    Dec 31, 2013 6:05 PM GMT
    Ohno saidShe might be up for a threesome. Maybe you could tactfully raise the matter as part of a wider discussion about fantasies (including hers). If you have not talked much about this sort of thing in the past, it will be very difficult to hit the right note. Maybe with something like "would you think it was hot watching me kiss another man?"


    I have mentioned a threesome.....Which she didn't completely say no to....That's a working progress thing.
    Not sure how'd she feel when i slip a cock into my mouth though!
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    Dec 31, 2013 6:09 PM GMT
    Humbleman said
    Ohno saidShe might be up for a threesome. Maybe you could tactfully raise the matter as part of a wider discussion about fantasies (including hers). If you have not talked much about this sort of thing in the past, it will be very difficult to hit the right note. Maybe with something like "would you think it was hot watching me kiss another man?"


    I have mentioned a threesome.....Which she didn't completely say no to....That's a working progress thing.
    Not sure how'd she feel when i slip a cock into my mouth though!


    It sounds like if you play the long game you may get what you want without hurting your wife, if you are sensitive about it. Perhaps you could suggest watching some gay porn or MMF porn together (I don't know if MMF porn exists, but I would guess that it does).
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    Dec 31, 2013 6:14 PM GMT
    Ohno said
    Humbleman said
    Ohno saidShe might be up for a threesome. Maybe you could tactfully raise the matter as part of a wider discussion about fantasies (including hers). If you have not talked much about this sort of thing in the past, it will be very difficult to hit the right note. Maybe with something like "would you think it was hot watching me kiss another man?"


    I have mentioned a threesome.....Which she didn't completely say no to....That's a working progress thing.
    Not sure how'd she feel when i slip a cock into my mouth though!


    It sounds like if you play the long game you may get what you want without hurting your wife, if you are sensitive about it. Perhaps you could suggest watching some gay porn or MMF porn together (I don't know if MMF porn exists, but I would guess that it does).


    She is the last person i want to hurt...But we all have feelings/fantasies, i'm sure she does. Either way it could go very wrong for me. I'm glad someone on here is trying to help, and take me seriously.
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    Dec 31, 2013 6:39 PM GMT
    Humbleman saidWe don't really do therapists in the UK.....We try to help ourselves..........Hence the reason i'm here....I really thought you could be more helpful......But because i'm not 100% gay...........Just give shit.



    Right. Because a qualified professional is not nearly as helpful as a bunch of strangers on a gay website. icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Dec 31, 2013 6:41 PM GMT
    these feelings won't go away. divorce your wife. before you cheat.
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    Dec 31, 2013 6:51 PM GMT
    Try watching a lot of gay porno, and see how things go. If you're still undecided, hire a rentboy and find out if actual gay sex is what you are really into.