Went to gay club for 1st time in the city.

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    Jan 01, 2014 4:48 PM GMT
    Just went to my first gay club, and all I can say it was a overwhelming experience. I told a friend of mine to take me, and he took me to this leather bar. It was very dark and there a lot of older guys there. I felt weird because almost every guy there kept on starring at me. Some of them even kept on walking past me a couple a times which I thought was even weirder. There were also a few men who were basically naked, and were wearing leather stuff on. I got really taken back when I saw a couple making out, but they were basically nude, one of them was taking the other guys shorts off and looking at their dicks, which i was in shock. After we went to another place but it was also a older crowd. Again almost every single guy starred at me, and I was still nervous. There was this older guy who came up to me with his friend and started talking to me. I knew it didn't take long for them to realize that I was new because one of them tried kissing me on the cheek, but I immediately pulled back. Then I tried dancing, and I did a little since my friend told me to loosen up. Then my friend went to the bathroom, and I was still dancing a bit, but then one of the guys got really close and started touching me which made me really uncomfortable. Then I started backing away, so he could stop. Then afterwords, this stripper came out and started dancing and one of the guys told me to tip the stripper, I was so shy I didn't want to do it. He then slowly started pushing me towards the stripper and handed me a dollar to put in his jockstrap. I put it in quickly, but then the guy took my hand and placed it on the strippers body, which i felt so uncomfortable since it was my first time touching a guy. I think at that moment everyone in the place knew i was new at the moment because i was very hesitant. Overall I thought it was a good experience, but also a overwhelming. next time I go back to the city i hope to stop in places where there are people more my age. Was it weird for you during your first time at a club?
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    Jan 01, 2014 5:38 PM GMT
    Is your friend older? Why didn't he take you to bars outside of your comfort zone?
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    Jan 01, 2014 5:50 PM GMT
    Just can't.
    Do you really have an Associats degree?
  • Danskerb

    Posts: 286

    Jan 01, 2014 5:54 PM GMT
    I've never been to a place like that.

    I think most cities have a close gay community with all the Internet sites and limited night clubs that people are always curious when a new face comes around. Next time head somewhere with a younger crowd and maybe you won't take so much attention.
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    Jan 01, 2014 5:55 PM GMT
    I think your friend chose a really unsuitable venue for your first trip to a gay bar!
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Jan 01, 2014 6:04 PM GMT
    Ohno saidI think your friend chose a really unsuitable venue for your first trip to a gay bar!

    I agree. Also, although I'm beyond 'oder' (ancient), I don't feel offended. I get it. 'Older' guys can seem threatening if you're uncomfortable with yourself and not sure what the native customs are or even mean.
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    Jan 01, 2014 6:13 PM GMT
    unfounded7 saidIs your friend older? Why didn't he take you to bars outside of your comfort zone?


    yes he is older. He wanted to go there, so I just went with it. I don't know any places in the city.
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    Jan 01, 2014 6:16 PM GMT
    dustin_K_tx saidJust can't.
    Do you really have an Associats degree?


    I apologize for the misspelling.
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    Jan 01, 2014 7:13 PM GMT
    nycdude saidJust went to my first gay club, and all I can say it was a overwhelming experience. I told a friend of mine to take me, and he took me to this leather bar. It was very dark and there a lot of older guys there. I felt weird because almost every guy there kept on starring at me. Some of them even kept on walking past me a couple a times which I thought was even weirder. There were also a few men who were basically naked, and were wearing leather stuff on. I got really taken back when I saw a couple making out, but they were basically nude, one of them was taking the other guys shorts off and looking at their dicks, which i was in shock. After we went to another place but it was also a older crowd. Again almost every single guy starred at me, and I was still nervous. There was this older guy who came up to me with his friend and started talking to me. I knew it didn't take long for them to realize that I was new because one of them tried kissing me on the cheek, but I immediately pulled back. Then I tried dancing, and I did a little since my friend told me to loosen up. Then my friend went to the bathroom, and I was still dancing a bit, but then one of the guys got really close and started touching me which made me really uncomfortable. Then I started backing away, so he could stop. Then afterwords, this stripper came out and started dancing and one of the guys told me to tip the stripper, I was so shy I didn't want to do it. He then slowly started pushing me towards the stripper and handed me a dollar to put in his jockstrap. I put it in quickly, but then the guy took my hand and placed it on the strippers body, which i felt so uncomfortable since it was my first time touching a guy. I think at that moment everyone in the place knew i was new at the moment because i was very hesitant. Overall I thought it was a good experience, but also a overwhelming. next time I go back to the city i hope to stop in places where there are people more my age. Was it weird for you during your first time at a club?


    Someone got you new socks for the holiday?
  • jo2hotbod

    Posts: 3603

    Jan 01, 2014 7:52 PM GMT
    You are in NY city and can't find better places than those mentioned above? Did you tell your friend you were uncomfortable? He should have brought you to a better place at least on the second visit.
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    Jan 01, 2014 8:15 PM GMT
    That seems like a strange place to go to for your first time...

    My first time at a gay party was something a local youth LGBT organisazation organized and even that felt rather uncomfortable for me icon_lol.gif

    But i'm not a guy that enjoys going to parties much or dances, so...
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    Jan 01, 2014 9:25 PM GMT
    nycdude saidJust went to my first gay club, and all I can say it was a overwhelming experience. I told a friend of mine to take me, and he took me to this leather bar. It was very dark and there a lot of older guys there. I felt weird because almost every guy there kept on starring at me. Some of them even kept on walking past me a couple a times which I thought was even weirder. There were also a few men who were basically naked, and were wearing leather stuff on. I got really taken back when I saw a couple making out, but they were basically nude, one of them was taking the other guys shorts off and looking at their dicks, which i was in shock. After we went to another place but it was also a older crowd. Again almost every single guy starred at me, and I was still nervous. There was this older guy who came up to me with his friend and started talking to me. I knew it didn't take long for them to realize that I was new because one of them tried kissing me on the cheek, but I immediately pulled back. Then I tried dancing, and I did a little since my friend told me to loosen up. Then my friend went to the bathroom, and I was still dancing a bit, but then one of the guys got really close and started touching me which made me really uncomfortable. Then I started backing away, so he could stop. Then afterwords, this stripper came out and started dancing and one of the guys told me to tip the stripper, I was so shy I didn't want to do it. He then slowly started pushing me towards the stripper and handed me a dollar to put in his jockstrap. I put it in quickly, but then the guy took my hand and placed it on the strippers body, which i felt so uncomfortable since it was my first time touching a guy. I think at that moment everyone in the place knew i was new at the moment because i was very hesitant. Overall I thought it was a good experience, but also a overwhelming. next time I go back to the city i hope to stop in places where there are people more my age. Was it weird for you during your first time at a club?

    What was the name of this club? The only places I know that come close to this are gay bars that have a special private "JO Night" (jerk off), not open to the general public. I find your story doubtful.
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    Jan 01, 2014 9:26 PM GMT
    jo2hotbod saidYou are in NY city and can't find better places than those mentioned above? Did you tell your friend you were uncomfortable? He should have brought you to a better place at least on the second visit.


    Seriously. Where in the world did he take you? Sounds like an underground club or something like that. I've lived in NYC for a few years now and have been to various gay clubs all over Manhattan but never anywhere like that.

    I don't go to clubs anymore that much but here's some more low key clubs in the city you should look into for next time: Stonewall Inn, G-Lounge, Vlada and Barracuda during the off hours. Even Boxers is low key compared to what you wrote...

    I'd reconsider how much this "friend" really cares about your well being since he's taking you to places you don't feel comfortable going to. Especially for a first timer icon_eek.gif
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    Jan 01, 2014 9:27 PM GMT
    Scruffypup said
    nycdude saidJust went to my first gay club, and all I can say it was a overwhelming experience. I told a friend of mine to take me, and he took me to this leather bar. It was very dark and there a lot of older guys there. I felt weird because almost every guy there kept on starring at me. Some of them even kept on walking past me a couple a times which I thought was even weirder. There were also a few men who were basically naked, and were wearing leather stuff on. I got really taken back when I saw a couple making out, but they were basically nude, one of them was taking the other guys shorts off and looking at their dicks, which i was in shock. After we went to another place but it was also a older crowd. Again almost every single guy starred at me, and I was still nervous. There was this older guy who came up to me with his friend and started talking to me.



    Moral of the story: Older men are disgusting and should be killed with fire. Way to go at making every "older" gay man reading this thread feel worthless and cause young gay men fear growing older. You could have simply mentioned the negative behavior at the bar without saying "older" over and over again.
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    Jan 01, 2014 10:23 PM GMT
    ART_DECO said
    nycdude saidJust went to my first gay club

    What was the name of this club?

    The Trolling Sock.
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    Jan 01, 2014 11:25 PM GMT
    Scruffypup saidMoral of the story: Older men are disgusting and should be killed with fire. Way to go at making every "older" gay man reading this thread feel worthless and cause young gay men fear growing older. You could have simply mentioned the negative behavior at the bar without saying "older" over and over again.


    Do you really feel worthless while reading the OP? That was the last thought that crossed my mind, and I'm thinking I'm in your age range.
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    Jan 01, 2014 11:32 PM GMT
    unfounded7 said
    Scruffypup saidMoral of the story: Older men are disgusting and should be killed with fire. Way to go at making every "older" gay man reading this thread feel worthless and cause young gay men fear growing older. You could have simply mentioned the negative behavior at the bar without saying "older" over and over again.


    Do you really feel worthless while reading the OP? That was the last thought that crossed my mind, and I'm thinking I'm in your age range.



    No, that one post doesn't make me feel worthless. But when gay men are constantly using "older" as being synonymous with "bad", after a while it does start to weigh on how you feel about yourself. So many "older" guys won't even go out anymore because they feel so alienated by the gay community.
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    Jan 01, 2014 11:39 PM GMT
    Scruffypup said
    unfounded7 said
    Scruffypup saidMoral of the story: Older men are disgusting and should be killed with fire. Way to go at making every "older" gay man reading this thread feel worthless and cause young gay men fear growing older. You could have simply mentioned the negative behavior at the bar without saying "older" over and over again.


    Do you really feel worthless while reading the OP? That was the last thought that crossed my mind, and I'm thinking I'm in your age range.



    No, that one post doesn't make me feel worthless. But when gay men are constantly using "older" as being synonymous with "bad", after a while it does start to weigh on how you feel about yourself. So many "older" guys won't even go out anymore because they feel so alienated by the gay community.


    He was clearly being hassled. I am sure if you had been there you would see where he is coming from. I see gay guys in their 50s and 60s out in soho enjoying themselves all the time but they don't feel the need to carry on like that.
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    Jan 01, 2014 11:40 PM GMT
    HikerSkier said
    ART_DECO said
    nycdude saidJust went to my first gay club

    What was the name of this club?

    The Trolling Sock.

    Ah, thanks. Quite a few RJ guys are regulars there.
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    Jan 01, 2014 11:44 PM GMT
    You're basically fresh meat in the gay bar the first time! icon_lol.gif Just go and have a good time next time, don't do things you don't want to. My first time at a gay bar was at the Whitehorse in Oakland CA, I was a student at the time, met up with this 25 Cal grad guy! We had some beer, played some pool and kinda hooked up afterwards! After that, I ventured out into the Castro district in San Francisco! It was about 10 years ago!
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    Jan 01, 2014 11:45 PM GMT
    ikilledcaptainplanet said
    for the record, out of towners such as folks from jersey refer to nyc as "the city".

    QFT. I was raised in Northern New Jersey, just 20-some miles from Manhattan, exactly what we called NYC.
  • killercliche

    Posts: 948

    Jan 01, 2014 11:52 PM GMT
    Scruffypup said
    . But when gay men are constantly using "older" as being synonymous with "bad", after a while it does start to weigh on how you feel about yourself.



    I don't think he is doing that. I think the comparison is Older = Different. That which is different is often scary at first.
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Jan 02, 2014 12:00 AM GMT
    socalx10 saidYou're basically fresh meat in the gay bar the first time! icon_lol.gif Just go and have a good time next time, don't do things you don't want to. My first time at a gay bar was at the Whitehorse in Oakland CA, I was a student at the time, met up with this 25 Cal grad guy! We had some beer, played some pool and kinda hooked up afterwards! After that, I ventured out into the Castro district in San Francisco! It was about 10 years ago!

    Hey, did you know the WhiteHorse is "the oldest continuously operating gay and lesbian bar in the United States"? Operational since 1933. It's only a few blocks away but I seldom go anymore. I don't drink, for one thing, don't like noise (my hearing is shot) for another. But it is a pretty low-key community bar -- perfect for anyone's first time out (IMO).
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    Jan 02, 2014 12:01 AM GMT
    killercliche said
    Scruffypup said
    . But when gay men are constantly using "older" as being synonymous with "bad", after a while it does start to weigh on how you feel about yourself.



    I don't think he is doing that. I think the comparison is Older = Different. That which is different is often scary at first.


    I know guys who say "really young guy" and mean "annoying twink" so it goes both ways.
  • Fable

    Posts: 3866

    Jan 02, 2014 12:04 AM GMT
    Ohno saidI think your friend chose a really unsuitable venue for your first trip to a gay bar!



    "hi I'm newly out, never been to a gaybar"

    "great, lets go to the hoist"