dear open diary...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 02, 2014 1:47 PM GMT
    i assume we all have lives outside of rj. write about your offline experiences here.

    dear open diary,

    a couple months ago i met a great guy. we have a lot in common: both have dogs (they get along very well), both love good food & wine, he's an hiv specialist physician - i'm a phd candidate researching an area of hiv pathogenesis, we're both agnostic, both want to adopt kids (no surrogacy) at some point in life, both in our early 30s, he's vegetarian - i 'admire' vegetarians icon_smile.gif , the list goes on. i also find him extremely physically attractive, although i wish he were a bit shorter (he's 6'3") or i was a bit taller (i'm 5'8").

    after a few dates, i thought this guy may be someone that i could certainly have a future. a few weeks ago, we went to see the new hunger games film and ended up holding hands the entire movie. i ended up staying at his house that night and we had a great time (i think??). the next morning, he woke up and made breakfast. we had a great discussion during breakfast, made out twice that morning, and i ended up posing the question of how he wanted to proceed with things between the two of us. his response was that he wanted to take things slow and see how things developed. i was completely agreeable. we continued kissing and at some point got dressed and were both off to work.

    however, something went inexplicably awry between that point and a few days later when i texted him to ask whether he wanted to stay at my place that saturday night. i was having a dinner party that night and thought he could stay the night since he was going to be there late anyways. his response was "do you mind if we slow down a little? sorry, if that sounds a little quaint but i'm a bit of an old-fashioned guy. i like you a lot, but enjoy the friendship for now." i was very confused especially after we had spent the night together earlier in the week. in any case, we talked about it when he came over and he told me that he hadn't gotten over his previous boyfriend and he just wanted to be friends.

    after that, i just left it up to him to contact me. since then, he's contacted me a few times. yesterday, we got together for lunch and to take our dogs to the dog park. he invited me to a classical concert on sunday. it seems like he really wants to be friends, but will he ever want more?? this is the question that pops into my head a few times a day.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 02, 2014 2:15 PM GMT
    You're in the danger zone! The period in between staying over and meeting friends/family. It is encouraging he still wants to see you though.

    I would ask about his friends and if you can meet one of them with him, maybe for lunch. After that, the friend will ask about you when he meets him next, and this guy will get used to the idea of the two of you being a couple.

    I know you didn't ask for advice, but I'm giving it anyway icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 02, 2014 5:40 PM GMT
    Ohno saidYou're in the danger zone! The period in between staying over and meeting friends/family. It is encouraging he still wants to see you though.

    I would ask about his friends and if you can meet one of them with him, maybe for lunch. After that, the friend will ask about you when he meets him next, and this guy will get used to the idea of the two of you being a couple.

    I know you didn't ask for advice, but I'm giving it anyway icon_razz.gif


    thanks for the advice. however, i'd prefer not to manipulate the situation. i'm leaving the ball in his court. if he wants me to meet his friends, i'll consider it.