Jan 02, 2014 4:50 PM GMT
Here's my response:
a fellow RJ'r wrote to me (paraphrased and redacted for privacy purposes)...Aloha back at you and major props on your bod and more importantly the fact that you seem a cool, genuine guy!
Perhaps one day I'll get in shape and get my bod up on this website - it's full of Adonises who make my skinny fat physique look horribly out of shape. Well, that's what New Year's resolutions are for...I blame genetics and laziness. Any tips on how to get started? Got to admit I hate the gym - haha.
take it easy
(Name of fellow RJ'r
PS I'm mixed race too -best of both worlds like yourself ;)
Here's my response:
GAMRican saidHi (redacted name of RJ'r),
Thanks you again for the kind words.
Getting in shape is a process. I'm over 16 years into that process, and so one of my own lessons learned is to not compare myself with anybody else unless I want to be unhappy. I am what I am, and my body shape is where it is. I can only be the best "me" that I can be, and it's not fair to myself to compare myself with others. They may be at different parts of their journey and they may have different gifts and obstacles than I do.
There's nothing you can do about genetics, except to make the best of what you've got. Laziness on the other hand is completely within your control and your free will. I exercise my free will of choice to take care of my body on a daily basis. And, it's a set of choices which add up to a holistic lifestyle. It's not just about what I eat, how or how much I exercise, how much rest I get, etc. It's a combination of educated choices which add up to who and what I am today. It's also not just the physical. It's also the emotional, intellectual, and spiritual as well which play a part in the holistic whole. Don't let all that overwhelm you. Take whatever "first step" you can on the road to holistic wellness and go from there.
Finally, there are going to be things in life which you like and don't like. In both cases, there may be things in life which you like, which you may have to eliminate or reduce. There may also be things which you don't like which you will have to incorporate and make a habit. In both cases, you have to choose what you "want" versus what you "need". Sometimes the two, are not the same and THAT is when you have to have the strength of will to choose what you need over what you want. Now don't interpret this as having to deprive yourself of pleasure and joy, it just means that you need to learn how to have a normal holistically healthy lifestyle and embellish it on occasion with the things which are pleasurable but not good for you on a regular basis.
In the end, you have to learn to love yourself just the way you are AND challenge yourself to be the best you that you can be within the constraints of your genetics. You must inwardly nurture a self-image of being worthy of being beautiful in order to help encourage yourself to be outwardly beautiful. Don't use any other "yardstick" of "beauty" other than yourself.
It has been by practicing these very same principles over the past 16 years that I have grown to achieve both an outwardly self-pleasing physique, and inner sense of self-confidence, and most importantly an inner sense of content in the achievements which I have made against my own "yardstick".
You can do this too. One day at a time and one decision at a time in every moment in which you live.
Good luck you your journey! You can do this!
Just do it!
Aloha and Be Well!