How far away would you be willing to date someone?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 02, 2014 6:04 PM GMT
    I've been trying to meet people in my area for 6 years to no avail. I cannot ever come across anyone and when I do they aren't interested or show interest then disappear.

    A lot of the people that approach me on various dating sites are from various states such as New York and Mass. Which are at the least an hour and a half from me.

    I'm at that point where I'm ready to meet that someone special and feel like travelling further will be the only way.

    any ideas or opinions?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 02, 2014 6:10 PM GMT
    Stop surfing the Web and put yourself out there. Geez!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 02, 2014 6:11 PM GMT
    I was dating someone from Las Vegas for a year. I flew back and forth every other month or so. It ended because of distance and other reasons.

    I then dated someone from Chicago and flew back and forth. He turned out to be psycho crazy but the distance also killed it.

    I currently was dating a guy who lived in the same town as me, and found that the relationship was soooo much easier to handle when you could just drive to their place.

    I don't think an hour and a half is too bad if you truly care about someone. It wouldn't hurt to try it out and just see what happens.
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    Jan 02, 2014 6:14 PM GMT
    okonomiyaki saidStop surfing the Web and put yourself out there. Geez!


    How do you put yourself out there? I don't know any places lol
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 02, 2014 6:16 PM GMT
    I have no limits.
    If I click with someone, I'll find some way to get to them.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 02, 2014 6:51 PM GMT
    I'm fortunate enough to live in a very small popuated area, so plenty of chances to meet other guys.

    However, I did move to a city, but that move was work related. It did give me the opportunity to meet lots of new guys, so moving to a more interesting city or area might be part of the solution.
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    Jan 02, 2014 10:24 PM GMT
    I think it's not just a question of distance but also of how long that distance will persist. In my view, there are a few general cases where it could work:

    1) There is a strong expectation that the distance will be temporary. Having a defined time where one person will relocate would be ideal.

    2) One or both people travel regularly for work or as a benefit of work, especially if one person travels to the other's city specifically, so they are able to spend a good amount of time together. How often is needed depends on the couple - some need more time together, others may be strongly independent and can get by with less physical contact.

    Long distance relationships are extremely difficult. In my opinion, absence makes the heart go wander. Some have success with them, and to those people I offer my congratulations and would gladly like to hear the story of their success. In my experience, the challenges ultimately lead the relationship's dissolution.
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    Jan 02, 2014 10:28 PM GMT
    I would cross the street.
    Not much more, though.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 02, 2014 10:52 PM GMT
    Tried dating a guy 90 minutes away. That was a bit overwhelming. Especially considering LA traffic. I've lowered my limit to 30 minutes or roughly 10 miles away.
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    Jan 02, 2014 11:12 PM GMT
    An hour away is doable, but it makes it less spontaneous. It is best to live within about 20 minutes of each other. I would say that you should do a little Internet research about clubs / places to meet guys in your area. Join a Meetup.com group of like-minded gay men in your area.
  • BlackIce92

    Posts: 1

    Jan 03, 2014 1:51 AM GMT
    I'd date someone 1 hour away at the most.
  • Fable

    Posts: 3866

    Jan 03, 2014 1:58 AM GMT
    you were closeted for most of those 6 years
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 03, 2014 1:59 AM GMT
    fable saidyou were closeted for most of those 6 years

    So? You were closeted until you were, I think, four.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 03, 2014 2:00 AM GMT
    One hour and a half? It won't work for me
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    Jan 03, 2014 2:06 AM GMT
    You seem like a good looking guy but your issue may be online also you don't have anyone on your hot list or anyone on your buddy list. I can't believe you don't think anyone within 50 miles of Connecticut area isn't attractive and wouldn't want to hang or gym workout or just other.

    You can connect from friends of others that you hotlist or buddy list so start hot listing and buddy listing and try lots of other sites there are guys around you there are millions of people in your 50 mile area. RJ is a great site to meet others.

    I wouldn't look for love more than hour drive if possible. If i lived in rural or small town area I would move to bigger town until i met guys i like to date.
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    Jan 03, 2014 2:08 AM GMT
    yankeeswin saidYou seem like a good looking guy but your issue may be online also you don't have anyone on your hot list or anyone on your buddy list. I can't believe you don't think anyone within 50 miles of Connecticut area isn't attractive and wouldn't want to hang or gym workout or just other.

    You can connect from friends of others that you hotlist or buddy list so start hot listing and buddy listing and try lots of other sites there are guys around you there are millions of people in your 50 mile area. RJ is a great site to meet others.



    Hmmm I didn't know that hotlisting is a requirement here
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    Jan 03, 2014 2:13 AM GMT
    Wasn't saying a requirement but if your not meeting anyone you have to question the extent of 0 hotlist and 0 buddy list how is that possible. Try here on RJ to meet people and then see how it works first. But yea for sure... I have other suggestions, such as other sites or offline gatherings events with friends doing more offline you have to come across someone do more activity fitness, school college.
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    Jan 03, 2014 2:13 AM GMT
    My boyfriend lives in London and I live in Oslo, the distance is hard, but its definitely worth it. We try to see each other once a month and each time is amazing. We actually met here on RJ, we chatted and skyped for about a month before he flew over to Norway.

    Distance means so little when someone means so much! icon_smile.gif

  • Eli_jah

    Posts: 1391

    Jan 03, 2014 2:55 AM GMT
    Aristoshark saidI would cross the street.
    Not much more, though.


    Haha.
  • Eli_jah

    Posts: 1391

    Jan 03, 2014 2:56 AM GMT
    I'm in New York so within the Northeast area.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 03, 2014 2:59 AM GMT
    same zip code or the adjacent one. There are plenty of hot guys out there just got look for them
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 03, 2014 3:02 AM GMT
    I live in central Orange County (Anaheim/Disneyland area), I am willing to go up to Los Angeles/Santa Monica/Malibu farthest and maybe San Diego south furthest! I think finding an awesome guy can be hard, if he's right for me, I don't mind driving the distance to see him!! (About 65 miles top).
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 03, 2014 3:06 AM GMT
    Distance is not an issue. I invite any guy from any part of the world to move where I am so we can date icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jan 03, 2014 3:07 AM GMT
    Matiz saidDistance is not an issue. I invite any guy from any part of the world to move where I am so we can date icon_biggrin.gif


    You're in Laguna Beach, there's like tons of guys there! Not that hard to find a man! icon_twisted.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 03, 2014 3:09 AM GMT
    Distance is more of a concept than a reality.

    If You are fortunate enuff to connect with someone - FUCK it...that's why God gave Us Planes....