How should i approach this?

  • weneedlovetoo

    Posts: 92

    Jan 04, 2014 6:47 AM GMT
    So I met this guy on Jack'd and we've been going out for about 6 weeks, at least once a week and sometimes twice a week. Everything clicks, he seems really nice and caring and I was really attracted to his personality. I made sure I wasn't clingy and give him space and time. After a month, I noticed that he put less effort into texting me but instead he always call at least once a day and have a quick chat. I am okay with that. I was off jacked since the second time i met him and was off it for a month and when he started putting less effort in ( assuming that honeymoon period is over) I go back on just to see if he's on. Clearly he was on Jack'd, I am not mad or anything since we are not committed to each other (yet) but it does take a toll on me since I get more paranoid everytime he doesn't reply my text. I keep feeling that he's talking to other guys , or meeting up with other guys and doing etc... which triggered my defense mechanism, i started going back on jack'd talking to guys, and going on dates. I feel wrong and guilty that i'm doing that but at the same time it does make me feels better when i'm with him cuz i feel like i'm just doing what's he is doing. How do you think i should approach this problem? I am thinking of giving him 2 more weeks then I would do the "talk" with him. Is it too soon? I've never had a bf before so these stuffs are so new to me. Thanks for reading.
  • xy28

    Posts: 19

    Jan 04, 2014 6:59 AM GMT
    I think that if you aren't official yet he can still talk to and meet guys because it's not like you have agreed to be together yet. I know you have strong feelings for him but he might not be sure about what he wants yet and wants to test the waters I guess. I think the fact that he calls you shows that he is still interested and he may just be busy.

    In terms of it being too soon to have the 'talk' it all depends...every relationship is different.

    What does he talk about when he calls you?
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    Jan 04, 2014 7:06 AM GMT
    Make sure the sex is so good he doesn't want anybody else.

    Also, make him a sammich afterwards.
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    Jan 04, 2014 10:41 AM GMT
    The "Talk?"
    Yeah, that should have happened already--hear it's done with a short text these days.
    6 weeks and you're all conflicted and anxious; sorry it sucks not knowing how to date--hugs.
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    Jan 04, 2014 11:30 AM GMT
    It's time for you to move on. You said in your original post that you are not clingy. Well, that's exactly your current behavior towards this guy. He's moved on and so should you.
  • weneedlovetoo

    Posts: 92

    Jan 06, 2014 5:25 AM GMT
    So he called today and we had " the talk", he initiated so I was able to get everything off my chest. He said he really likes me and like spending time with me. He said he's been scarred and he doesn't know how long would it take him to jump back into a relationship, he is unsure cuz of the age difference and said it's hard cuz i'm in school and he's not ( he's 29 and i'm 22). He is unsure of what he wants. So after the 2 hours conversation we came to a conclusion that we would still see each other and hang out and dates while not seeing other guys. I told him that if he knows that this is not working out then i would rather end it sooner than later. He is giving me a red flag though.
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    Jan 06, 2014 7:53 AM GMT
    Erik101 saidIt's time for you to move on. You said in your original post that you are not clingy. Well, that's exactly your current behavior towards this guy. He's moved on and so should you.


    I respectfully disagree ..

    I think Dustin nailed it..

    I don't think these two know where they stand.

    Talk to him ..
  • weneedlovetoo

    Posts: 92

    Jan 17, 2014 1:58 AM GMT
    I am seriously confused to where we are standing in this relationship. He does all the nice things, we still hang out once or twice per week and he calls everyday , at the least we talk 10-20 min. However, i dont know why i am feeling so insecure. I feel like when he doesn't reply to my text, he's prolly seeing someone else. He told me he has coffee plan with a friend of his but who to me it seems like it's a date.... I do like him but he's making it difficult on me. is 2 months too soon for people to be in relationshiP?
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    Jan 17, 2014 2:28 AM GMT
    s1lovesyou saidI am seriously confused to where we are standing in this relationship. He does all the nice things, we still hang out once or twice per week and he calls everyday , at the least we talk 10-20 min. However, i dont know why i am feeling so insecure. I feel like when he doesn't reply to my text, he's prolly seeing someone else. He told me he has coffee plan with a friend of his but who to me it seems like it's a date.... I do like him but he's making it difficult on me. is 2 months too soon for people to be in relationshiP?


    if he calls everyday that means he's interested in you, he might just be busy. calls > texts. Calls takes more effort then texts. But I would be careful too haha he might be a player, but that's a whole new issue. I'm sure he's not though. icon_smile.gif