What is the Funniest thing you ever Saw or Heard (offline)

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    Jan 06, 2014 4:14 AM GMT
    And Yes... Offline is a word... 0 _0 SMIRK

    Lots of funny things happen in my life but these are the two I can think of

    * I saw a Bunch of 20 something Black Thugs laughing/giggling on the swings at the playground

    Uhh... WTF -_-

    * Next, around my grandma's house there used to be a group of "tough/ hardcore" boys who hung out by the corner, fighting and what not.. just being loud.
    So, my cousin who is a girl who everyone knew and wanted, tells me out of the blue one day that something weird happened. She tells' me that she thinks 2 of them are gay. One of the guys was like the head of the group too. She tells me she went through his phone and said a few text messages went like THIS:

    - Wassup?
    "Nuthing much"
    - Then come over
    " Ok then "
    - You Keep Running from Da D doe..


    " Yeah, but I won't next time "

    Both black as well, the moral of these stories are... Black guys are sensitive too

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    Jan 06, 2014 6:22 AM GMT
    I think this one stands out an order of magnitude in front of everything else. Sadly, this happened way before camera phones.

    Our barnyard is about a quarter mile down the track from the main house. Historically, the dogs hang out at the house. Squirrels hang out at the barnyard. As you approach the barnyard, the dogs always start getting all stealthy and try to sneak up and pounce on the squirrels. In the all time farm history, the record in this contest is somewhere around Squirrels: 1,987,432 Dogs: 2.

    My brother used to have two huge unruly dogs - german shepherd/malamute/labrador cross. One day, they were accompanying me as I headed down to do chores. They made the usual moves on a ground squirrel that was sitting on a stack of cherry bins. The squirrel sat there and watched them, then at the last minute, for some reason, instead of ducking down a hole, he ducked into a piece of 4-inch plastic sewer pipe, about four feet long, that was laying on the ground.

    The dogs bounded onto the sewer pipe, one at each end, and stuck their noses right in there. Then they picked up the pipe by lifting it between them, with their noses. The squirrel running around in the middle somewhere. With their faces jammed into the pipe, they couldn't see a thing. Nevertheless, they started running/stumbling around the farmyard. Bumping into things. Bouncing off the tractor. Trees. Cherry bins. Staggering around like a couple of drunks. Angry squirrel chittering echoing from out of the pipe.

    This went on for about fifteen minutes. I know I should have broken it up, but I was laughing so hard, I had to sit down on the ground. Finally I got up and went to try to stop the mayhem. By then, one of the dogs got the bright idea to heave the pipe up in the air vertically, so that the squirrel would slide down to him. Which worked. The squirrel bit him on the nose!

    I finally grabbed the pipe, and the squirrel squirted out and bounded up into a nearby cherry tree. The dogs barking furiously (one of them bleeding profusely from the nose). The squirrel just sat on a low branch and smiled back at the dogs. (Squirrels are all assholes.) They stayed that way for about an hour. Finally I managed to convince the bleeding one to come with me (each of those dogs weighed as much as I did.) The other one followed "Yeah, I'm letting you off easy rodent. Gotta take care of my brother."

    Squirrels: 1,987,433.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 06, 2014 11:55 PM GMT
    ^ haha you should write a novel... what you typed sound very professional and detailed

    A skill I may Never have haha
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    Jan 07, 2014 12:55 AM GMT
    Thanks. My own sweet, adorable dog girls would always go after a particularly despicable squirrel that had a burrow under the ladder-storage rack. They would dig furiously at the hole as long as I'd let them. Meanwhile, the squirrel always came out the other end of the burrow, climbed up into the ladders, directly over the dogs, and watched them dig.
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Jan 07, 2014 1:45 AM GMT
    That is a great story, mind garden. icon_lol.gif