My boyfriend is on Grindr

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 06, 2014 4:35 PM GMT
    My new boyfriend is on Grindr as regularly as he always has been before. Even though he does not have a profile picture or any info in his profile (always like this), this still bugs me. Is it time we should talk about this? I met him on Grindr too but I deleted the app 1 month after starting dating him.
  • kiwi_nomad

    Posts: 316

    Jan 06, 2014 6:25 PM GMT
    talk to him about it. do you know the content of the messages he is sending/receiving?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 06, 2014 8:00 PM GMT
    Yes, you should talk to him about it. There's no set timeframe on when you should (or shouldn't) talk to your bf on something that's bothering you.
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    Jan 07, 2014 3:15 AM GMT
    pellaz saidhack into his cell phone; serious.

    what the hell?
  • LoveAndPeace

    Posts: 460

    Jan 09, 2014 12:23 AM GMT
    pellaz saidhack into his cell phone; serious.
    Don't listen to this person.He wants to ruin your relationship
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 10, 2014 1:16 AM GMT
    pellaz saidhack into his cell phone; serious.
    LOL

    This is golden.
  • WApilot

    Posts: 191

    Jan 11, 2014 5:31 AM GMT
    Talk to him about it. My boyfriend and I met off of Growlr... Just like you about a month after we started dating, I deleted my account but he didn't.

    It bothered me too, so, I talked to him about it. I didn't accuse him of doing anything. I just explained to him how I felt and he deleted his account. Communication is important and you both should be able to talk to each other without fear that the other may not like something and you'll break-up.
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    Jan 11, 2014 6:04 AM GMT
    Create a fake profile with serious 10/10 fake pics, message him saying you're a dirty ho looking for some discreet mingling and wait for his answer. You will then know whether he is faithful or not.
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    Jan 11, 2014 10:02 AM GMT
    Rita saidCreate a fake profile with serious 10/10 fake pics, message him saying you're a dirty ho looking for some discreet mingling and wait for his answer. You will then know whether he is faithful or not.


    I agree with this completely.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 11, 2014 10:20 AM GMT
    Maybe he's just looking for Friends and Networking only? lol
    If you're too worried about it, just ask him straight up ** What's up with Grindr Boo!! icon_cool.gif
  • CityofDreams

    Posts: 1173

    Jan 11, 2014 2:21 PM GMT
    Avsigkommen said
    Rita saidCreate a fake profile with serious 10/10 fake pics, message him saying you're a dirty ho looking for some discreet mingling and wait for his answer. You will then know whether he is faithful or not.


    I agree with this completely.


    I would break up with my bf before doing the above. I am not here to be chasing his every move. You should talk to him, thoughtfully explain your concerns, and if he wants to be with you he will have no problem deleting the app.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 15, 2014 10:49 PM GMT
    mayb instead of being paranoid that he still has the app u shud just trust him... sometimes the problem lies with ur insecurities.. if u cant trust him with an app now.. how will u trust him if he goes on a trip somewhere? how will u trust him with his gay friends? Will u make him give up his trip and stop talkin to his gay friends too?
  • IAmTheOneWhoK...

    Posts: 154

    Jan 17, 2014 6:20 AM GMT
    I really don't understand why gay dudes are so lenient and quick to accuse partners and gays of being "insecure" and not "trusting" of their partners when their partners do things that for any ordinary straight couple would be considered shady as fuck. I mean it's Grindr. Even for the amount of people that aren't there just to fuck, its called Grindr- Gay Dating right at the top of the app. Everyone else on there wants to date and maybe 1 out of every 250 guys is legitimately open to being "just platonic friends" with an attractive dude they meet on there.

    I mean if a guy was dating a girl and she was on, idk, what do straight people use? E-harmony? I don't know, some straight dating app, how the fuck do you imagine the dude would act? "Oh, that's cool, my girlfriends on this dating site, I have no reason to be suspicious/paranoid or feel insulted, totally cool. I'm sure she's just eager to meet friends on E-harmony/Straight Grindr."

    He's looking around, waiting to see if someone better comes along. He ain't looking for friends bro.

    Although I guess it depends on if you guys are just "dating" or if he's your actual boyfriend. And if he were your boyfriend, I feel like this kinda thing would have been discussed already.
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    Jan 17, 2014 6:50 AM GMT
    IAmTheOneWhoKnocks saidI really don't understand why gay dudes are so lenient and quick to accuse partners and gays of being "insecure" and not "trusting" of their partners when their partners do things that for any ordinary straight couple would be considered shady as fuck. I mean it's Grindr. Even for the amount of people that aren't there just to fuck, its called Grindr- Gay Dating right at the top of the app. Everyone else on there wants to date and maybe 1 out of every 250 guys is legitimately open to being "just platonic friends" with an attractive dude they meet on there.

    I mean if a guy was dating a girl and she was on, idk, what do straight people use? E-harmony? I don't know, some straight dating app, how the fuck do you imagine the dude would act? "Oh, that's cool, my girlfriends on this dating site, I have no reason to be suspicious/paranoid or feel insulted, totally cool. I'm sure she's just eager to meet friends on E-harmony/Straight Grindr."

    He's looking around, waiting to see if someone better comes along. He ain't looking for friends bro.

    Although I guess it depends on if you guys are just "dating" or if he's your actual boyfriend. And if he were your boyfriend, I feel like this kinda thing would have been discussed already.


    I agree with this. I also agree with talking with him - then decide whether or not to next him.
  • BmwKid92

    Posts: 1097

    Jan 17, 2014 8:22 AM GMT
    you sound jealous, and that sir is an ugly trait.
  • Nayro

    Posts: 1825

    Jan 17, 2014 9:30 AM GMT
    IAmTheOneWhoKnocks saidI really don't understand why gay dudes are so lenient and quick to accuse partners and gays of being "insecure" and not "trusting" of their partners when their partners do things that for any ordinary straight couple would be considered shady as fuck. I mean it's Grindr. Even for the amount of people that aren't there just to fuck, its called Grindr- Gay Dating right at the top of the app. Everyone else on there wants to date and maybe 1 out of every 250 guys is legitimately open to being "just platonic friends" with an attractive dude they meet on there.

    I mean if a guy was dating a girl and she was on, idk, what do straight people use? E-harmony? I don't know, some straight dating app, how the fuck do you imagine the dude would act? "Oh, that's cool, my girlfriends on this dating site, I have no reason to be suspicious/paranoid or feel insulted, totally cool. I'm sure she's just eager to meet friends on E-harmony/Straight Grindr."

    He's looking around, waiting to see if someone better comes along. He ain't looking for friends bro.

    Although I guess it depends on if you guys are just "dating" or if he's your actual boyfriend. And if he were your boyfriend, I feel like this kinda thing would have been discussed already.


    While a little bit black and white, I do agree with this.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 17, 2014 9:30 AM GMT
    Snaz said
    IAmTheOneWhoKnocks saidI really don't understand why gay dudes are so lenient and quick to accuse partners and gays of being "insecure" and not "trusting" of their partners when their partners do things that for any ordinary straight couple would be considered shady as fuck. I mean it's Grindr. Even for the amount of people that aren't there just to fuck, its called Grindr- Gay Dating right at the top of the app. Everyone else on there wants to date and maybe 1 out of every 250 guys is legitimately open to being "just platonic friends" with an attractive dude they meet on there.

    I mean if a guy was dating a girl and she was on, idk, what do straight people use? E-harmony? I don't know, some straight dating app, how the fuck do you imagine the dude would act? "Oh, that's cool, my girlfriends on this dating site, I have no reason to be suspicious/paranoid or feel insulted, totally cool. I'm sure she's just eager to meet friends on E-harmony/Straight Grindr."

    He's looking around, waiting to see if someone better comes along. He ain't looking for friends bro.

    Although I guess it depends on if you guys are just "dating" or if he's your actual boyfriend. And if he were your boyfriend, I feel like this kinda thing would have been discussed already.


    I agree with this. I also agree with talking with him - then decide whether or not to next him.


    Both of these answers, definitely.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 18, 2014 2:46 PM GMT
    Fake a profile on someone else's phone, then make him fall in love with you all over again. How romantic.
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    Jan 18, 2014 11:05 PM GMT
    StrappingYoungLad saidyou sound jealous, and that sir is an ugly trait.

    This. You met on some hookup ap, he remains on a hookup ap, you act shocked that he is looking at pics on a hookup ap.
    If you were dating a fish and he constantly wanted to swim, would you post the same neurotic pablum?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 19, 2014 1:47 AM GMT
    Rita saidCreate a fake profile with serious 10/10 fake pics, message him saying you're a dirty ho looking for some discreet mingling and wait for his answer. You will then know whether he is faithful or not.


    Dishonesty chasing after dishonesty.

    Dysfunctional.
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    Jan 19, 2014 1:48 AM GMT
    smartmoney said
    StrappingYoungLad saidyou sound jealous, and that sir is an ugly trait.

    This. You met on some hookup ap, he remains on a hookup ap, you act shocked that he is looking at pics on a hookup ap.
    If you were dating a fish and he constantly wanted to swim, would you post the same neurotic pablum?


    +1
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 20, 2014 2:44 AM GMT
    Just talk to him about it, saying that you trust him but you'd feel more comfortable if he wasn't on the app.

    However, I have to say I think it's very telling that he's still on it. For all the people who insist that they are just looking to chat or are just looking for friends, I'll show you someone with ulterior motives (or at least a very different definition of "friends" than I have).
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 30, 2014 7:31 AM GMT
    Tell him you know.
    Join yourself.
    Message him under a profile you know he'll find attractive. Then see what happens.
    Some guys like to chat and thats all.
    See what happens and you'll know you can trust him.icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 30, 2014 7:36 AM GMT
    Absolutely you need to confront him and be like 'wtf is this' it's defiantly shady behavior and I t shouldn't be tolerated
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 30, 2014 7:39 AM GMT
    This happened to me, just tell him it bothers you . He should delete it