Lost interest

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 13, 2008 4:11 AM GMT
    Does anybody else just lose interest in gayness? I cant remember the last time i have been interested in a man. I was out in in a gay bar tonight - and while i could see that there were men interested in me - i just couldnt be bothered trying to get talking to them - let alone anything more.

    If you have got to this point - how have you reenergised your life.

    I cant complain about most things- life is good - but lost all interest in meeting men. Any suggestions?
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    Dec 13, 2008 4:17 AM GMT
    um most gay men arent very attractive, they look like:

    women
    boys
    old men trying to be young

    Maybe they arent your type there, ever think of that.
  • Koaa2

    Posts: 1556

    Dec 13, 2008 5:03 AM GMT
    It is the bar scene that gets hard, same thing all the time. Try something different, join something, that isn't all about shit that happens in a bar. For sex, just jack off or go to a sex club, until you meet someone that means something to you.
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    Dec 13, 2008 5:07 AM GMT

    ...wait. Have fun with the good things in your life, and put your focus away from guys for a bit. Any emotion/feeling needs to rest now and then, even in a happy relationship.
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    Dec 13, 2008 5:09 AM GMT
    No interest in sex - for sex's sake. And as for mates and meeting people - i meet loads - am involved with gay rugby and squash clubs. Its just trying to find the interest in wanting to meet a man that seems to be the problem!
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    Dec 13, 2008 5:15 AM GMT


    ...well, stop trying and see what happens. You know, there was a time when I was single that I saw couples and shuddered. I'd been through so much failure. So I concentrated on the people in my life and how I could lift them up, just a little. I'd no idea how much that small exercise in caring about others was going to alter my life and perspective.

    It sure did.
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    Dec 13, 2008 6:14 AM GMT
    you might just be at a point in your life where meeting someone is secondary to you enjoying your life and all that it entails, there are more important things then having a relationship with another person.

    The right guy comes along when you are truly ready, but unknowing of it.

    or maybe, as I've told you a dozen times, you need to just go have wild hot sexy with some sleazy stud.. like I'm doing.. icon_smile.gif he don't need to be smart.. just good.. in bed.. and you need to stop going to the pub so much.. I swear.. your an alcoholic icon_razz.gif
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    Dec 13, 2008 8:55 AM GMT
    irish_kayaker saidDoes anybody else just lose interest in gayness? I cant remember the last time i have been interested in a man. I was out in in a gay bar tonight - and while i could see that there were men interested in me - i just couldnt be bothered trying to get talking to them - let alone anything more.

    If you have got to this point - how have you reenergised your life.

    I cant complain about most things- life is good - but lost all interest in meeting men. Any suggestions?
    It happens. You are more than just sex so maybe like many others, you get older and realize there is more to life and happiness than getting off or just living according to some pre-charted plan.

    If you are lacking passion in life, just wait around. Love for something or someone will latch onto you and everything will change. Change is certain as long as you are alive. Look deeper. Things are more than they appear to be.
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    Dec 13, 2008 10:18 AM GMT
    try a girl, irish.
    even though she's taken, jessica alba is CRAZY hot but who wouldn't wanna bone that.
    won't hurt to check out a girl or two. maybe it'll give you a different persective
  • mikeeugene

    Posts: 84

    Dec 13, 2008 4:00 PM GMT
    Don't worry man. I think we all have cycles where we're more interested in bonding and cycles where we want to have our space, including sexually. This would only be a problem if you were in a relationship and your partner felt rejected.

    The way I dealt with it was to make sure that I didn't come across as a jerk, just as busy or whatever else, so I wouldn't burn my bridges. I also figured out other places to meet guys.

    I also found some good buds, some gay, some straight, who were simply good friends. You need them for support, because we both know that most "gay bar interest" is aimed for sexual contact, of whatever duration, and those bar guys usually aren't around enough to be of any emotional support.

    Good luck with this.
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    Dec 13, 2008 4:03 PM GMT
    Yep, after about two years of the bar scene I took a break. The great thing about the internet is that it makes you realize there are a lot of very interesting gay guys in the world, they just are not in your neighbourhood.

    I was never interested in guys that made being gay the centre of their universe. I have always liked my men to be individuals.
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    Dec 13, 2008 4:06 PM GMT
    get a dog
  • JohnG16775

    Posts: 235

    Dec 13, 2008 4:13 PM GMT
    I went to a bar for the first time in years and cringed, I was the oldest Man there. Felt like it anyway, and everyone is Still smoking, eugh,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
    Totally turned me off.............cant stand smoke funny cause I used to smoke many many years ago, looks like someone hasnt told the community its bad for you.
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    Dec 13, 2008 5:03 PM GMT
    lilTanker said and you need to stop going to the pub so much.. I swear.. your an alcoholic icon_razz.gif


    Never - I'm Irish!!!! icon_eek.gif

    X_E_R saidtry a girl, irish.
    even though she's taken, jessica alba is CRAZY hot but who wouldn't wanna bone that.
    won't hurt to check out a girl or two. maybe it'll give you a different persective


    Been there done that. No thanks Fun while it lasted - but like dodgy holidays - you make the most of it while youre there - but you aint interested in going back! icon_rolleyes.gif

    Surfwarrior saidget a dog


    Oh i take far too many holidays for that! icon_biggrin.gif Would be nice though - miss my childhood dog

    JohnG16775 said and everyone is Still smoking, eugh,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
    Totally turned me off.............cant stand smoke


    Thankfully we have a full smoking ban in Ireland icon_biggrin.gif

    SurrealLife saidThe great thing about the internet is that it makes you realize there are a lot of very interesting gay guys in the world, they just are not in your neighbourhood.


    How very true!

    mikeeugene saidThe way I dealt with it was to make sure that I didn't come across as a jerk, just as busy or whatever else, so I wouldn't burn my bridges. .....
    I also found some good buds, some gay, some straight, who were simply good friends. You need them for support, because we both know that most "gay bar interest" is aimed for sexual contact, of whatever duration, and those bar guys usually aren't around enough to be of any emotional support.

    Good luck with this.


    Great advice - i probably come across as aloof - it someone talks to me i am polite to them - but i dont fully engage them. But as for the friends thing - i am making more and more friends - both gay and straight through my sports - wouldnt be without them.

    Thanks Guys - i think i am in one of those cycles where meeting a man is secondary to the rest of my life. Still theres the odd lonely day - but then i try and find a mate to go kayaking with!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 13, 2008 10:08 PM GMT
    Or to hammer at squash....

    You big meanieicon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 13, 2008 10:26 PM GMT
    Surfwarrior saidOr to hammer at squash....

    You big meanieicon_razz.gif


    How are the hips? icon_twisted.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 13, 2008 10:28 PM GMT
    Non-existant now that the marathon training has started, expect sunken face cheeks and butt cheeks of steel over the next 21weeks
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    Dec 13, 2008 10:43 PM GMT
    You could also make George Micheals-Faith your new Life mantra, gain some postive mental attitude off it.


    Cause ya gotta have faith...