When is the right time to say.. I love you?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 11, 2014 4:19 PM GMT
    I've been dating this guy for about 6 months and I have this crazy Idea in my head to say "I love you". We see each other quite often and when we hang out it's like being with my best friend. When we have sex it's nothing like what I pictured, I thought it would be more crazy and rough like what I see in porn but it's more gentle, lots and I mean lots of kissing, gazing at each others eyes, stroking each others hair and face. If this is what making love feels like, I don't think I would ever go back. I almost let it slip once when we were doing it. But ever since then I've been afraid to let him know how I feel. icon_sad.gif
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    Jan 11, 2014 4:27 PM GMT
    Whenever you feel it. icon_cool.gif

    It helps that you're dating the guy too and for 6 months at that. TELL HIM! Next time your laying with him - head in crook of neck - just say it. You never know what will happen tomorrow.

    (Hey IceBuckets - you should probably take your own advice)
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    Jan 11, 2014 4:29 PM GMT
    I don't know. Sadly, I've never experienced that.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 11, 2014 4:30 PM GMT
    shawnathan saidI don't know. Sadly, I've never experienced that.


  • Aodhan

    Posts: 3828

    Jan 11, 2014 4:35 PM GMT
    Take him out somewhere or do something special and tell him. That's what I'd do.
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    Jan 11, 2014 4:45 PM GMT
    TheQuest said
    shawnathan saidI don't know. Sadly, I've never experienced that.



    ... I never realized how much ONJ looked like my mother. icon_eek.gif

    But yeah...this.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 11, 2014 4:50 PM GMT
    I don't know. That's a very serious thing to say to someone. I personally don't think six months is long enough. Saying "I love you" is one of the most exhilarating things you can say to someone, and for that reason I think a lot of people say it without considering the consequences. Unless the other person is in the same place emotionally as you, it can kill the growth of the relationship in a way that can never be rekindled. Plus, once you both say it, you're no longer dating anymore. You're an item. That may be what you want, but be prepared for the ramifications. If he's not on the same page as you, don't be surprised if he backs off or stops seeing you completely. Then you have to consider, a lot of guys have intimacy issues and even though they might feel the same about you, those words scare the shit out of them. I would be very certain he feels the same way about you before uttering those three dangerous words.

    One way to test the waters is this: The next time you're laughing and having a good time together, try saying "I really like you" or "I'm so glad I met you." See what his response is to that before using the big "L" word.
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    Jan 11, 2014 4:55 PM GMT
    You'll know when you get there!
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Jan 11, 2014 5:02 PM GMT
    Don't keep it a secret if you're feeling it. He may respond in kind, or not, so be prepared for that and accept whatever response you get. The first time my first partner, David, said it to me I was taken aback as it seemed too soon to me. "Love" seems so "always." However, I learned to reply in kind by saying it in the moments I was feeling it: "I'm loving you right now." Eventually it became a constant, even when he pissed me off I still loved him.
  • metta

    Posts: 39165

    Jan 11, 2014 5:04 PM GMT
    awwwwwww.... icon_biggrin.gif


  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 11, 2014 5:06 PM GMT
    though question, but if you're feeling those emotions, you might as well say it now. just tell him you're being honest. "hey man, i just wanted to let you know i'm really crazy about you".
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    Jan 11, 2014 5:10 PM GMT
    Have you seen him when he's sick, like bird flu sick?

    Have you taken a long trip with him--a 15 hour road trip to visit his less than friendly family?

    Have you witnessed him under extreme circumstances (fight or flight)?

    or

    Are your endorphins during sex so off the charts you mistake them for something else?

    You could say: "I love the way you make me feel".
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 11, 2014 5:10 PM GMT
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 11, 2014 5:14 PM GMT
    Who cares. Take a risk and just say it ;)
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    Jan 11, 2014 5:16 PM GMT
    If you're feeling it, say it. If you can't stand not telling him. If you want to spend the rest of your life with him. If your heart bursts when you leave him. If you wake up in the middle of the night and just want to watch him sleep. If you get mad at anyone who harms him. Tell him. Be brave. Don't equivocate. Don't be unclear. Be loving if he's not there quite yet. Trust him.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 11, 2014 5:46 PM GMT
    I honestly never felt this way with any guy. But I've thought about it and you know, you live life once, and you can never really gain anything if you don't risk something. As vulnerable as I feel now, I want him to know, I want him to know how much I really care for him. God, I sound pathetic, and I sound like a crazy person, but I'm not ashamed of it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 11, 2014 5:48 PM GMT
    orgasm
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 11, 2014 5:50 PM GMT
    No, spread the love - intelligently
  • Import

    Posts: 7193

    Jan 11, 2014 5:54 PM GMT
    You need to be prepared to be quite disappointed if he doesn't say it back.

    Like another poster already mentioned. It kind of changes everything. If you two are on the same page and he says it back, great! Awesome. You two are officially love birds... awwwww.

    If he doesn't say it back tho..... it's pretty much over. How awkward.

    So, since this is the internet ill come out and briefly tell u what happened to me when I said it to someone like 2 years ago.... Kind of embarassing

    I had been seeing this guy for like 9 months. Sex was awesome....prob the best part was the sex, he was cute, he was fun to be around, we hung out often, etc. I liked him......... a lot.

    Anyway, about 8 months into it, i was pretty much bursting at the seams with "love" (ugh, vomit!) and I just HAD to tell him. He was quickly becoming my best friend. We were exclusive.... shit was real. I was feelin it big time. One night we rolled on some Molly together and just had the best night ever. Heavy petting, lots of laughing, kissing, making-out non-stop. full body massages. Very physical and fun night. Crazy. I couldn't get enough. I WAS in love.

    So after that night of Molly and craziness he had to drop me off at the airport...I had to go on a work trip for a week.... Mind you, we were 8 to 9 months ino this, so I felt quite comfortable around him. As I'm getting out of the car.....and kissing him goodbye...I said "I love you"...... u know, so I could say it and then just leave off into the sunset full of love. lol.

    Long story short about 10 days later we were broken up and not speaking..... Have not uttered a word to him since, nor has he to me....

    When my flight landed he sent me this txt saying "i'm not mad u feel that way toward me"........ and I responded "ok"..... But I was disappointed, embarrassed, mortified really..I felt like we felt the same way toward eachother, obvs didnt. I didnt know what to say to him anymore. I had nothing to say anymore. Wasn't angry with him, but was angry at myself cuz I let myself fall like that. I legit still loved him, but knew he didnt feel the same way, so what was I to do? Just accept the fact and move on.

    Anyway, exercise caution. you'll never how he feels til u say it. He could be totally waiting for u to say it to him.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 11, 2014 5:57 PM GMT
    Generally, the moment immediately after you and your partner have experienced a soul moving orgasm while you are still locked in deep face-to-face sexual embrace. This is the moment when it is least awkward and with the highest probability of hearing a reciprocated feeling voiced.

    FYI, it is less effective if you are fucking from behind, if toys or drugs are involved, or if it is a random, anonymous group scene in a dank, poorly lit back room of a skeezy bar.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 11, 2014 6:00 PM GMT
    The right time is after you've been together for 25 years, or if you're both trapped in a burning house.
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    Jan 11, 2014 6:01 PM GMT
    Import saidYou need to be prepared to be quite disappointed if he doesn't say it back.

    Like another poster already mentioned. It kind of changes everything. If you two are on the same page and he says it back, great! Awesome. You two are officially love birds... awwwww.

    If he doesn't say it back tho..... it's pretty much over. How awkward.

    So, since this is the internet ill come out and briefly tell u what happened to me when I said it to someone like 2 years ago.... Kind of embarassing

    I had been seeing this guy for like 9 months. Sex was awesome....prob the best part was the sex, he was cute, he was fun to be around, we hung out often, etc. I liked him......... a lot.

    Anyway, about 8 months into it, i was pretty much bursting at the seams with "love" (ugh, vomit!) and I just HAD to tell him. He was quickly becoming my best friend. We were exclusive.... shit was real. I was feelin it big time. One night we rolled on some Molly together and just had the best night ever. Heavy petting, lots of laughing, kissing, making-out non-stop. full body massages. Very physical and fun night. Crazy. I couldn't get enough. I WAS in love.

    So after that night of Molly and craziness he had to drop me off at the airport...I had to go on a work trip for a week.... Mind you, we were 8 to 9 months ino this, so I felt quite comfortable around him. As I'm getting out of the car.....and kissing him goodbye...I said "I love you"...... u know, so I could say it and then just leave off into the sunset full of love. lol.

    Long story short about 10 days later we were broken up and not speaking..... Have not uttered a word to him since, nor has he to me....

    When my flight landed he sent me this txt saying "i'm not mad u feel that way toward me"........ and I responded "ok"..... But I was disappointed, embarrassed, mortified really..I felt like we felt the same way toward eachother, obvs didnt. I didnt know what to say to him anymore. I had nothing to say anymore. Wasn't angry with him, but was angry at myself cuz I let myself fall like that. I legit still loved him, but knew he didnt feel the same way, so what was I to do? Just accept the fact and move on.

    Anyway, exercise caution. you'll never how he feels til u say it. He could be totally waiting for u to say it to him.

    You never mentioned how it all ended before. I'm really sorry. It's nobody's fault, but still it had to be painful.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 11, 2014 6:42 PM GMT
    When you almost cry at the thought of not being able to tell them again.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 11, 2014 6:50 PM GMT
    When you fall in love lol
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 11, 2014 6:51 PM GMT
    as you are leaving the cash on the dresser!!!! hahaha…