Should I meet him?

  • coolfizz

    Posts: 9

    Jan 12, 2014 2:44 AM GMT
    Well I'm 21 and haven't had luck exploring physical love.
    To be honest I put most of my time on my college degree and wasn't really birdwatching.

    Now that i'm done with it, I
    I've met someone on the website and his profile clearly mentions he wants to have a one timer.
    To be honest I do not want to have my first one sour, And i'm a looking for a relationship and would giving anything to it.
    I'm curious and worried at the same time.

    What should I do? Am I going the wrong way?
    Should I meet him or just wait?
  • coolfizz

    Posts: 9

    Jan 12, 2014 3:25 AM GMT
    But don't you think first ones should be something to remember and not with a person I wont meet after a few days?
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    Jan 12, 2014 9:18 AM GMT
    It is very hard to get into a gay relationship a lot of the time. In theory you are right but how long are you prepared to wait? A compromise might be to keep trying for a relationship until a certain date.
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    Jan 12, 2014 9:54 AM GMT
    You said you want a relationship and the other guy wants a one timer! So why would you want to meet him since he can't give you what YOU want? You need to wait until the right guy comes along.
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    Jan 12, 2014 9:54 AM GMT
    Peoples words Really are not going to change your actions. People do what They Want to do...

    That said, NO! You Should Not do it...

    Because you Will regret it, and maybe not in the worst of ways possible as to scare you but in that simple nagging feeling of disappointment. Once You make this choice to disappoint Yourself you can Never go back.

    I speak from personal experience. I wish my first time... or Anytime I've done IT was special. I Knew I would but has that Ever stopped me... a few times.. Yes. But the times that it mattered the most, as in when I actually decided to go ahead and go through with it then No..

    The more you do it.. the Looser and Looser you get with this subject, even when you fight it. It can become a Terrible habit, and the first few times Always inspire you to do things in the riskiest way possible.

    So once again. I Say No! but do as you please. It is Your life and Your body

    If you are as busy as you say you are then the battle to not doing these things are almost halfway won, just remain busy and preoccupy your mind until one day you suddenly, and likely unexpectedly, meet someone to take up the one space on your mind that wont see easily go away so easily on its own

    icon_wink.gif

    ( And No it is not as easy as it sounds, waiting, and it shouldn't have sounded easy to you in the first place )
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    Jan 12, 2014 12:56 PM GMT
    don't do it
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    Jan 12, 2014 1:10 PM GMT
    Has anyone's first time been "special"?

    Sorry, guess I'm to far removed.
    A 21 year old virgin should be in high demand so wait as long as you want. Wait on the perfect combination of Disney and Sean Cody every young man dreams off.
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    Jan 12, 2014 6:06 PM GMT
    dustin_K_tx said
    Has anyone's first time been "special"?

    That's what I was thinking.
    I'm no tart but I say have some fun... safely.
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    Jan 12, 2014 6:14 PM GMT
    JohnSpotter said
    dustin_K_tx said
    Has anyone's first time been "special"?

    That's what I was thinking.
    I'm no tart but I say have some fun... safely.

    Can't say if you should meet this one - he might not be one you should have sex with. Just don't hold out for Mr. Perfect. Suggest you hold out sex for someone that you at least like. By the time you find someone you might have a relationship with, it's a good idea to have had some practice first.
  • coolfizz

    Posts: 9

    Jan 13, 2014 3:24 AM GMT
    Ohno saidIt is very hard to get into a gay relationship a lot of the time. In theory you are right but how long are you prepared to wait? A compromise might be to keep trying for a relationship until a certain date.


    You're absolutely right on that. But I really don't know what to do. I want to get the right one.
    The problem is that I live in the school accommodation and that's really far from the city. Its not possible to visit every weekend to the pubs.
  • coolfizz

    Posts: 9

    Jan 13, 2014 3:41 AM GMT
    Erik101 saidYou said you want a relationship and the other guy wants a one timer! So why would you want to meet him since he can't give you what YOU want? You need to wait until the right guy comes along.


    How long does one have to wait? I just turned 21 and haven't kissed. That being said I'm not ashamed of it, but I feel the need to love someone and to be loved by someone.
    ReeBad19Peoples words Really are not going to change your actions. People do what They Want to do...

    That said, NO! You Should Not do it...

    Because you Will regret it, and maybe not in the worst of ways possible as to scare you but in that simple nagging feeling of disappointment. Once You make this choice to disappoint Yourself you can Never go back.

    I speak from personal experience. I wish my first time... or Anytime I've done IT was special. I Knew I would but has that Ever stopped me... a few times.. Yes. But the times that it mattered the most, as in when I actually decided to go ahead and go through with it then No..

    The more you do it.. the Looser and Looser you get with this subject, even when you fight it. It can become a Terrible habit, and the first few times Always inspire you to do things in the riskiest way possible.

    So once again. I Say No! but do as you please. It is Your life and Your body

    If you are as busy as you say you are then the battle to not doing these things are almost halfway won, just remain busy and preoccupy your mind until one day you suddenly, and likely unexpectedly, meet someone to take up the one space on your mind that wont see easily go away so easily on its own



    ( And No it is not as easy as it sounds, waiting, and it shouldn't have sounded easy to you in the first place )


    Well you easily summed up what I feel man.
    I really am moved by this comment. It totally changes my thought process. thanks mate. I don't mind taking the risk and waiting for the time to come. I know its gonna be hard, but worth it icon_smile.gif

    somersaultdon't do it


    Totally not doing that. Atleast not with the one I am talking about.

    As to others, I really aint desperate to loose my virginity. I just want to get a companion and share my world with him. It'd be better and I'm sure he'll appreciate me waiting for him in the end.


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    Jan 13, 2014 3:43 AM GMT
    I would wait.
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    Jan 13, 2014 3:47 AM GMT
    If you don't feel like a one timer is for you, don't meet the guy. You'll feel like crap afterward, trust me.
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    Jan 13, 2014 4:09 AM GMT
    Don't do it pal.
    1) He wants just one timer, you want a companion, so the priorities doesn't match.
    2) Believe me, when you kiss someone you don't really like is sad, even a lusty kiss, they make you feel hurt because they are not real long lasting feelings.
    3) Congratulations in obtaining your degree. You seem a guy with priorities, keep that way, if you want a relationship, go on tiger, don't loose your hope, have patiente over time.
    4) I have my first kiss and sex out of curiosity without feeling something and without knowing what I wanted, it sucks, you know what you want so don't betray it.

    I know 1,3 and 4 are the same crap, but you have to believe in what you want, you were strong enough to reach your degree without distractions, so you are strong to wait for someone and maintain your promises to yourself. Make the desicionn you like.
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    Jan 13, 2014 4:14 AM GMT
    lol your welcome. I totally fucked up the last line though "That won't go away so easily on its own" haha

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    Jan 13, 2014 4:15 AM GMT
    Bend over and have fun.
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    Jan 13, 2014 4:17 AM GMT
    dustin_K_tx saidHas anyone's first time been "special"?


    Yeah, what's that about? It's like some guys think they're living out some kind of real-life romance novel....not that I'm endorsing the first time being a "one time" thing.
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    Jan 13, 2014 4:17 AM GMT
    silverwolf94 said
    2) Believe me, when you kiss someone you don't really like is sad, even a lusty kiss, they make you feel hurt because they are not real long lasting feelings.


    OMG You are right, lol SOOoo awkward. My eyes are usually open. Though they look really into it as I stare off into meaningless space.. / -_-/
  • Apparition

    Posts: 3521

    Jan 13, 2014 6:24 AM GMT
    you are not going to find mr right on the first try BUT you can find mr next 2 months pretty well. just find some a shy guy at the beginning of next term (yes you willl have to get off your butt and ask HIM) tell him you want a nice term long relationship and go on a couple dates. If you click fuck his brains out til the end of term. You will be friends for life.

    (oral doesnt count..for that just blow some drunk at a party when he loses at cards)
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    Jan 13, 2014 6:26 AM GMT
    Apparition saidBUT you can find mr next 2 months pretty well.


    That's kind of overly optimistic.
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    Jan 13, 2014 6:37 AM GMT
    Ultimately, go with what you feel you want and don't do this because your banking on some kind of false hope from a guy you don't really know that well on the wavering possibility that something could come out of it as long as you put out first.

    The way I see it, your a virgin one time and only have your virginity once so you might as well try make it as meaningful as you can.
    There are a lot of gay guys who see their body as a commodity rather than a temple and so people left right and centre will tell you to give it up to whatever opportunity comes by.

    What do you find important?
    If the first time is a bigger deal for you than a hook up one night stand, then don't settle for something you don't want.
    Not that I'm saying to believe that your first experience is going to be the most spectacular, magical and wonderful time, I mean also be realistic.

    If you've never done it before it's a possibility that it's not going to go as 'smooth' as you think it might run; it is rare that people are magnficently great at doing something for the very first time.
    Who's to say that won't be you though.

    That being said, it doesn't mean therefore don't value the experience or degrade it down as if it were nothing.
    Just accept it for how it really was, take it in your stride and move on however the experience went, but that doesn't mean to settle for something less than what you want or deserve.

    Not that I'm saying virginity is such a #humblebrag, but there is nothing wrong with being one either.
    Don't view it so negatively, it's just a small facet of your entire self as a person.

    Just my own opinion, but I think that people who so easily give their body up for sex to whatever opportunity comes along is a poor reflection on their values and character, but honestly at the end of the day to each their own.

    I will certainly not think I am better or they're worse.
    Your life will be a testament to the choices you make, and not all opportunities make for wise choices.
    Lifestory.
    Pick whatever you feel honours what you value and leave it at that.
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    Jan 13, 2014 6:41 AM GMT
    The sacredness with which a bunch of you regard sex is just dumbfounding.

    It's. Just. Sex. Go, have fun. Learn. Enjoy yourself. Stop pretending it's England in 1873.
  • coolfizz

    Posts: 9

    Jan 18, 2014 3:16 PM GMT
    Well to be honest even if he wants to have a one timer he should be atleast considerate to reply to my messages. icon_smile.gif

    I got my answer and guess you guys guided me to the right advice.

    The other posts about me being too "picky", i'm sorry but atleast I have something to be trusted upon. I just don't give myself away to strangers so that I can just fuck and forget him.


    Someone messaged me that atleast if you meet someone face to face, then things might work. Trying to chase by messaging each other only makes shit complicated.

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    Jan 18, 2014 3:43 PM GMT
    Doing my best not to laugh...

    *Caugh
    So he moved on?

    I'm sure he wasn't even real to start with.