Housemate moved his girlfriend in

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    Jan 12, 2014 11:40 AM GMT
    I live in a 3 bedroom house, which I moved into 4 months ago (after paying £150 in admin fees icon_evil.gif ).

    I get on great with one of my housemates, and I find the other one grumpy and annoying. Anyway, the second one seems to have moved his girlfriend in. She has been there every night for the past 3 weeks, spending ages cooking in the kitchen and then they spend the rest of the night cuddling in front of the TV. I just try and avoid them.

    She is not contributing to any of the bills or rent.

    What do you think I should do? You are probably going to say I should talk to them, but it will just end in a big argument, and they will not change their mind. I will be back at square one except he will be even more grumpy.

    Also, please feel free to use this thread to share living with couple horror stories, or whatever.
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    Jan 12, 2014 12:50 PM GMT
    screw that shit, you now have 3 housemates, she owes 25%
  • kiwi_nomad

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    Jan 12, 2014 1:26 PM GMT
    talk to your landlord. I think at least he should have mentioned it to you.

    I was kind of on the opposite side recently, I had been seeing a guy for a few months and at that stage we were spending a lot of time together at his house with me staying over there most nights of the week. He made sure it was cool with his flatmates though and it was good I got on really well with all of them. I tried to be as courteous as possible considering it wasn't my place like taking quick showers (or showers with him...) and cleaning up etc. I even offered to pitch in but they refused to let me. It sounds like at the very least she could take that same stance!
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    Jan 12, 2014 2:32 PM GMT
    What does your other roommate think?
    I would say the two of you should approach the third roommate privately and say that she should pay rent or that you want her gone. You didn't sign a lease for four roommates.
    I had the same thing when I shared a house with one guy. He was hardly ever there and wanted to save money by moving in a third roommate. Everybody thought I was being unreasonable not wanting to share the house with another person... a complete stranger.
    Either way, our landlord said NO and so will yours.
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    Jan 12, 2014 2:51 PM GMT
    Unfortunately for me, I don't think the other housemate is bothered. He works long hours for several days in a row, and then gets whole days off so is not usually around at the busy times.
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    Jan 12, 2014 5:14 PM GMT
    That is exactly the reason i bought my 1st flat with one bedroom . I could only have bought a 2 bedrooms if i was renting one of the bedroom out . I had lived with roomates during my 2 first year of college with the same problem , and when the fact was argued , it only brought incomfortable stares !
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    Jan 12, 2014 5:16 PM GMT
    It's hard to just have a chat about that....especially if u two aren't really close or even talk to eachother that much.

    Aside from the cooking in the kitchen... How else does she interfere in your life? Does she use your bathroom? Are u ever able to have any of the food she makes? Does her car take up a space in the driveway or parking lot? Is she a bitch toward u?

    Not a whole lot u can actively do if u dont say something to ur flatmate about it really.
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    Jan 12, 2014 5:28 PM GMT
    Leave passive aggressive stick-it notes all over the house that she is bound to see.

    I suggest little messages along the lines of 'bitch we hate you'; 'pay rent or sleep with your eye open, heaux'; or,'free-loader: we will END you. We are anonymous, we are legion'.

    Hopefully it be enough to convey the message... Hopefully.
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    Jan 12, 2014 5:29 PM GMT
    Import saidIt's hard to just have a chat about that....especially if u two aren't really close or even talk to eachother that much.

    Aside from the cooking in the kitchen... How else does she interfere in your life? Does she use your bathroom? Are u ever able to have any of the food she makes? Does her car take up a space in the driveway or parking lot? Is she a bitch toward u?

    Not a whole lot u can actively do if u dont say something to ur flatmate about it really.


    We just say hi and bye now, after 4 months of living together (lol). I actually talk with her more than him.

    She doesn't really interfere with any other part of my life. When I moved in he was the one that showed me round and he said 2 guys live there, so I do feel like he was dishonest with me. The admin fee part really annoys me because otherwise I would not lose out much by moving.

    He does moan at me regularly about flat stuff so I may tie the discussion into the next time he is moaning anyway. He mentioned before that he might be moving out soon so I would like to know if that is still happening. I think asking about it would be pretty transparent haha.
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    Jan 12, 2014 5:39 PM GMT
    _SAGE_ saidLeave passive aggressive stick-it notes all over the house that she is bound to see.

    I suggest little messages along the lines of 'bitch we hate you'; 'pay rent or sleep with your eye open, heaux'; or,'free-loader: we will END you. We are anonymous, we are legion'.

    Hopefully it be enough to convey the message.


    Something like this?

    5870666416_d9b8d7e07c_b.jpg
    5910139904_0ffb3830cd_b.jpg
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    Jan 12, 2014 5:41 PM GMT
    neffa saidThat is exactly the reason i bought my 1st flat with one bedroom . I could only have bought a 2 bedrooms if i was renting one of the bedroom out . I had lived with roomates during my 2 first year of college with the same problem , and when the fact was argued , it only brought incomfortable stares !


    Once I have my own place, it will be my rules! Girlfriends and boyfriends will be welcome to stay for up to 2 nights of the week. The rest of the time they can GTFO!
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    Jan 12, 2014 5:54 PM GMT
    Ohno said
    _SAGE_ saidLeave passive aggressive stick-it notes all over the house that she is bound to see.

    I suggest little messages along the lines of 'bitch we hate you'; 'pay rent or sleep with your eye open, heaux'; or,'free-loader: we will END you. We are anonymous, we are legion'.

    Hopefully it be enough to convey the message.


    Something like this?

    5870666416_d9b8d7e07c_b.jpg
    5910139904_0ffb3830cd_b.jpg



    Amazing.

    This would surely work.

    =D

    P.S. Please keep up updated with your progress on this matter henceforth.
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    Jan 12, 2014 6:32 PM GMT
    Ohno said
    neffa saidThat is exactly the reason i bought my 1st flat with one bedroom . I could only have bought a 2 bedrooms if i was renting one of the bedroom out . I had lived with roomates during my 2 first year of college with the same problem , and when the fact was argued , it only brought incomfortable stares !


    Once I have my own place, it will be my rules! Girlfriends and boyfriends will be welcome to stay for up to 2 nights of the week. The rest of the time they can GTFO!

    That sounds pretty reasonable. You really ought to talk it out with the obnoxious flatmate. Maybe you should chalk it up to a mistake, and find another situation. Don't understand the "administrative fee" bit. Landlord relations are legally different in just about every jurisdiction - so what is your relation to the owner of the flat? Who actually rents (or leases) it? One of you? All of you?

    Once when I rented a house, I knowingly accepted a couple as roommates, but they paid more of the rent.

    If the vegetarianism is a big deal, is she breaking an (unspoken?) rule about not being a vegetarian?

    Best of luck.
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    Jan 12, 2014 6:36 PM GMT
    HikerSkier said
    Ohno said
    neffa saidThat is exactly the reason i bought my 1st flat with one bedroom . I could only have bought a 2 bedrooms if i was renting one of the bedroom out . I had lived with roomates during my 2 first year of college with the same problem , and when the fact was argued , it only brought incomfortable stares !


    Once I have my own place, it will be my rules! Girlfriends and boyfriends will be welcome to stay for up to 2 nights of the week. The rest of the time they can GTFO!

    That sounds pretty reasonable. You really ought to talk it out with the obnoxious flatmate. Maybe you should chalk it up to a mistake, and find another situation. Don't understand the "administrative fee" bit. Landlord relations are legally different in just about every jurisdiction - so what is your relation to the owner of the flat? Who actually rents (or leases) it? One of you? All of you?

    Once when I rented a house, I knowingly accepted a couple as roommates, but they paid more of the rent.

    If the vegetarianism is a big deal, is she breaking an (unspoken?) rule about not being a vegetarian?

    Best of luck.


    Will have to talk to him eventually, to be sure. The admin fee is a pain in that I didn't want to pay it just to move so quickly. Never met the owner, we have a joint tenancy with 8 months left.

    The vegetarian letter is just a funny thing I posted icon_biggrin.gif. I think it is probably a fake tbh. Who would write that they could no longer tolerate honey in the house? If I got that letter I would strip naked, cover myself in honey and try to hug her until she moved out.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 12, 2014 7:11 PM GMT
    Why not get own place?

    Of course you shouldn't move out because of this girlfriend, but maybe it's nicer to live alone?

    I'm not made to have roommates, unless it would be my bf of course.
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    Jan 12, 2014 7:14 PM GMT
    My own place in London would probably cost 3/4 of my wages icon_eek.gif

    I do really enjoy living with housemates, it's just sometimes you get ones that take the piss. Depressingly, this is probably about the 4th time I have faced this exact issue.
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    Jan 12, 2014 9:03 PM GMT
    woodsmen saidIt won't last long as they would want to be themselves.

    Not everyone can afford to live by themselves, as Ohno pointed out about how much it would cost.

    Long ago I was sharing a big house with 4 bedrooms. 2 of the guys had girlfriends living there so a total of 6 people. It all worked out except that in the mornings it was hard to get in the bathrooms. Luckily I had flexible hours and went in late. The funny part was all 3 of the guys had single syllable names that rhymed; Don, John/Jon, and Ron. I'm bad with names and could never keep track of their names. I had to move when one of the guys moved out and the new guy had a parrot that squawked incredibly loudly in the mornings. Unbelievably loud.
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    Jan 12, 2014 9:16 PM GMT
    That's what I need - a roommate agreement like in the Big Bang Theory!

    Reading this back I realise I may sound like a pussy but I am too proactive/grumpy/assertive to be able to put up with stuff like this so I am going to end up saying something this week. They both (certainly the girlfriend) knows I am annoyed with them this weekend.
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    Jan 12, 2014 9:35 PM GMT
    I just remembered that my first roommate did this. It was 3 of us in a house. Unfortunately there wasn't anything the other 2 of us could do because the house was owned by the sister of the guy with the girlfriend. The girlfriend was an ass and was snotty. Looking back, it was annoying but probably workable, nevertheless I moved out.

    When I think back, there were various situations that drove me crazy but in retrospect I let myself get worked up over something that was really not as bad as I thought it was at the time.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 24, 2014 10:24 PM GMT
    Cuddle with them.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 24, 2014 10:26 PM GMT
    My roommate's boyfriend moved in with us a few months ago and they offered to pay 3/4 of the rent. I'm really going to miss them when they move into their house and I have to get a new roommate that only pays half of the rent.
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    Jan 25, 2014 2:01 AM GMT
    Just start walking around the house naked.
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    Jan 25, 2014 2:09 AM GMT
    xrichx saidJust start walking around the house naked.



    That's devious, I like it!!! icon_exclaim.gificon_exclaim.gificon_exclaim.gif
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    Jan 25, 2014 2:18 AM GMT
    Alternatively, OP can have his boyfriend come over for extended visits. Then maybe they'll get the hint. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jan 25, 2014 2:26 AM GMT
    What was the original agreement between the 3 of you? Whose names are on the lease, you, the other one? all three? I think there should be a meeting to clearly define the living situation! I mean, I'd get a little annoyed if one of my roommate has a live-in girlfriend, always there, cooking, doing whatever.... Just be civil and talk some sense into them, if they're being real bitchy or ignore you! You should consider ask the landlord to step in or get ready to ask him to move out and get another roommate in there.