HIV+

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 13, 2014 9:11 PM GMT
    Let's say your HIV - and you start talking with a guy,you hit it off, then he tells you he's + ..do you break it off there or do you just be extra cautious?
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    Jan 13, 2014 9:13 PM GMT
    Break it off
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    Jan 13, 2014 9:27 PM GMT
    I want to say I'd break it off but if we are hitting it off, the heart wants what the heart wants. Btw, you haven't told us what you would do.
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    Jan 13, 2014 9:33 PM GMT
    Behemothboi saidLet's say your HIV - and you start talking with a guy,you hit it off, then he tells you he's + ..do you break it off there or do you just be extra cautious?


    Neither! Because his HIV status is not important to me. His personality is!
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    Jan 13, 2014 9:37 PM GMT
    Erik101 said
    Behemothboi saidLet's say your HIV - and you start talking with a guy,you hit it off, then he tells you he's + ..do you break it off there or do you just be extra cautious?


    Neither! Because his HIV status is not important to me. His personality is!
    This guy. HIV status is like smoking or a DUI. Just because you do it or you got caught doesn't make you a bad or lesser person.

    I know of 3 guys here who are HIV+ amazing guys and I'm proud to call them my friend. One of them I really wouldn't mind being in a relationship with either.
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    Jan 13, 2014 9:38 PM GMT
    EternalOp saidI don't date guys with any history of stds.

    I also don't guys with slutty pasts, because even if they are showing presently clean, their stds might be lying dormant and taking years to manifest.


    That's a pretty shitty outlook! I have a friend who got HIV from his cheating boyfriend and this friend was faithful to him. To deny him a relationship because of an unfortunate incident is ludicrous.

    Oh, and here's something you need to know. Guys with slutty pasts tend to lie about their past because they're looking for the next lay....and they'll say anything to get it.
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    Jan 13, 2014 9:45 PM GMT
    I've been in this situation once. I crushed on the guy a long time before he ever knew, then about 2 weeks into it he told me he was surprised I was interested in him..I didn't know he was + either but we kinda just flickered out after that he got really Moody after he told me. It was weird for me
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    Jan 13, 2014 9:46 PM GMT
    EternalOp saidI don't date guys with any history of stds.

    I also don't guys with slutty pasts, because even if they are showing presently clean, their stds might be lying dormant and taking years to manifest.


    dinner-at-8-marie-dressler.jpg
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    Jan 13, 2014 9:53 PM GMT
    Break it off, even though I play protected, I'd still be too paranoid about getting it to be in relationship and that would be a huge drag on any relationship in the long term. It's not a matter of the guy being a bad person, it's just the worry of getting it. Even the thought of getting a cold makes me paranoid, so HIV and STDs is doubly troubling for me.
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    Jan 13, 2014 9:54 PM GMT
    EternalOp said
    Erik101 said
    EternalOp saidI don't date guys with any history of stds.

    I also don't guys with slutty pasts, because even if they are showing presently clean, their stds might be lying dormant and taking years to manifest.


    That's a pretty shitty outlook! I have a friend who got HIV from his cheating boyfriend and this friend was faithful to him. To deny him of a relationship because of an unfortunate incident is ludicrous.

    Oh, and here's something you need to know. Guys with slutty pasts tend to lie about their past because they're looking for the next lay....and they'll say anything to get it.


    That's not my fault. I'm not gonna put my health at stake out of pity for an infected person.

    And don't worry about me, I take all my precautions not to fall for sluts, and I have my guy tested and signed for, A to Z.

    My health is not a joke.


    Two of my closest friends have been together for 12 years. One is (+) and the other is (-) and my god, these two still fuck like bunny rabbits. They're proof to me that both can be in a happy relationship and remain safe.

    And of course, your health is not a joke. Everyone's health needs to be a priority. But hey, you're an adult and the choices are your's. Hope you are able to find a relationship that will make you happy!
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    Jan 13, 2014 10:14 PM GMT
    Before anyone is ever confronted with this issue, they need to get ALL of the facts regarding HIV from a reputable source (such as your local HIV/AIDS organization). Once you actually know all the variables involved, and therefore know what you're talking about, you can make an informed decision. If at that time you choose not to, be honest but thoughtful in your response.

    Secondly, there are many people out there who aren't aware of their status, or who may not be upfront about it. So, if you've had casual sex, there is a possibility you've unknowingly come into contact with someone who is HIV+.

    And EternalOp, if you choose to reject someone because of their status that's your perogative. It doesn't however give you licence to be unkind. Not everyone gets if from being promiscuous, and even if they did, they're all still people with feelings. Many people reading this may decide not to get tested or reveal their status for fear of rejection based on your attitude, and words like your's don't encourage responsible behaviour in people who may already be emotionally compromised trying to deal with an illness so many people carelessly and unknowingly stimatize. I suspect much of it is a knee-jerk reaction to the fear of being infected, which is completely understandable. You just need to remember that words have consequences. In a time when bullied gay kids are hurting themselves because of the words of others, it would be setting a horrible example to turn on each other over this issue.

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    Jan 13, 2014 10:23 PM GMT
    I've been with a guy once who later accused me of giving him HIV though it turned out to be another guy he hooked up around the same time as he was with me.. I freaked because I'm always careful and get tested regularly..true story
  • Mash4077

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    Jan 14, 2014 2:36 AM GMT
    Some of you need to educated on HIV.

    I'm HIV- but 6 years ago a meet the most amazing man who happened to be HIV+

    Today I'm still HIV- and that HIV+ guy is now my husband.
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    Jan 14, 2014 7:17 AM GMT
    EternalOp said
    Mash4077 saidSome of you need to educated on HIV.

    I'm HIV- but 6 years ago a meet the most amazing man who happened to be HIV+

    Today I'm still HIV- and that HIV+ guy is now my husband.


    Good for you. But there is a lot emotional/ financial toll being HIV+ or dating someone who has HIV, and a lot of precautions to take.

    I have seen it first hand and I never want to experience that. You guys seem to be advertising catching HIV.

    Lets catch HIV and be happy icon_rolleyes.gif



    What's wrong with you?? That's not what Mash4077 said nor did he ever imply that it's okay to catch HIV! Christ dude, you just made a thread about how there is a huge lack of gay sex education in the community. You need to go back to that private center you visited and pay attention to the ENTIRE education on HIV...not just the parts you want to learn!
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    Jan 14, 2014 7:26 AM GMT
    You guys should ignore people..that is what I do
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    Jan 14, 2014 9:10 AM GMT
    I'd like to add a related question to this thread. Does anyone here feel they have the latest knowledge about risks of transferring HIV or other std's via unprotected oral sex? I have been hearing and reading inconsistent things on that topic in recent months. Thanks.
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    Jan 14, 2014 2:11 PM GMT
    EternalOp said
    Behemothboi saidYou guys should ignore people..that is what I do


    Agreed. Especially ones with douche bag profile pics and spamming the forum with boring posts and ghetto meaningless stories reflective of an uneducated waiter's background.
    douche bag? Spamming?? Ghetto?? I'm sure you can't be referring to me
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    Jan 14, 2014 2:23 PM GMT
    Behemothboi saidYou guys should ignore people..that is what I do


    This. "Block Him" and "Ignore His Posts" makes for a much more palatable RJ experience. I love these features.
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    Jan 14, 2014 7:17 PM GMT
    That's fine its not a situation I'm presently in. I was just thinking about when I had this conversation with my ex about it and he said he wouldn't let it change his mind. So I was just wondering what other guys would do
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    Jan 17, 2014 1:02 PM GMT
    I break it off. Yeah it's not the 80's anymore but still a fuckin nasty disease. I'm not up for the risk.
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    Jan 17, 2014 9:33 PM GMT
    YourName2000 said
    Erik101 saidWhat's wrong with you?? That's not what Mash4077 said nor did he ever imply that it's okay to catch HIV! Christ dude, you just made a thread about how there is a huge lack of gay sex education in the community. You need to go back to that private center you visited and pay attention to the ENTIRE education on HIV...not just the parts you want to learn!

    You're asking a weakass troll to not be trolly, lol. What's wrong with you? icon_biggrin.gif He's just winding you up to get a rise. It's probably a couple of bitchy 16yo girls trying to out mean-girls each other. Play with it if you want to, but it's just going to deflect every sensible thing you say because its goal is not resolution through reasoning but self-entertainment through conflict. icon_biggrin.gif


    Oh crap! He deleted all his posts! Oh well! It was entertaining though! icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jan 17, 2014 9:35 PM GMT
    duluthrunner saidI'd like to add a related question to this thread. Does anyone here feel they have the latest knowledge about risks of transferring HIV or other std's via unprotected oral sex? I have been hearing and reading inconsistent things on that topic in recent months. Thanks.


    Such as?
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    Jan 18, 2014 3:40 AM GMT
    Erik101 said
    duluthrunner saidI'd like to add a related question to this thread. Does anyone here feel they have the latest knowledge about risks of transferring HIV or other std's via unprotected oral sex? I have been hearing and reading inconsistent things on that topic in recent months. Thanks.


    Such as?


    Such as whether or not it's safe to have oral sex without a condom.


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    Jan 18, 2014 8:25 AM GMT
    ^^ I don't believe the info has changed over the decade. The chances of getting HIV from oral sex is extremely low. If a guy has an open cut in his mouth then the chances are higher but that's if the other guy cums in his mouth. Semen has to have direct contact with the bloodstream in order for infection to occur and that can only happen with an open wound. And if you notice, cuts in mouth ( unless deep ) heal quickly. Ever notice that bleeding stops fast after flossing?

    But even though the chances are low, I think guys should use common sense and not let the heat of passion impair their judgment when it comes to oral sex. In other words....think safety when it comes to sucking him off.
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    Jan 19, 2014 11:20 AM GMT
    Behemothboi saidLet's say your HIV - and you start talking with a guy,you hit it off, then he tells you he's + ..do you break it off there or do you just be extra cautious?

    Practice 100% safe sex. If he won't agree to that then break it off.

    I knowingly married a poz guy. I understood the danger and accepted it, with the mutual understanding our sex would always be safe, no exceptions. And with him I was the bottom, the most risky sex for HIV.

    But he always wore a condom, and didn't object to also wearing a condom when I blew him. There is medical debate about HIV transmission through oral sex, but I wouldn't take even that chance, and he agreed.

    I remain negative to this day. But he, tragically, suddenly died of AIDS when he contracted a fatal opportunistic disease, despite having good medical care and excellent cell counts and viral loads. It can happen.

    And so that was my only real fear when we got together. Not for my own health, but for his future, and what that would mean to me. And as it turned out I was left alone in mere weeks after he was diagnosed with AIDS; I was devastated.

    And yet, I know gay couples where one or both of them are HIV poz, and they've been together for decades. It's something almost impossible to predict, even with today's advances.

    If you love the guy you've gotta make that choice, and take that chance. I lost my guy, but I don't regret my choice. Having him for even a few short years was worth it.