Please don't be an accidental asshole at the gym.


  • Jan 15, 2014 4:21 AM GMT
    For the gym regulars out there, please be mindful of how you act at the gym. While bullying and making fun of people should never be tolerated, I think there are a lot of times of inadvertent mocking.

    I'm pretty relaxed at the gym and usually don't pay attention to people as I work out, but one of my friends brought an issue to my attention. My friend is over-weight and trying to improve himself by working out. Problem is he lacks confidence and is very intimidated at the gym. One thing that really affects him is being judged and being made fun of. He tells me that he hates going to the gym because a couple of the fitter guys at the gym will give him looks and appear to laugh at him. I've tried telling him that those guys are not laughing at him and probably don't even notice him. Even if they did, I told him to ignore them because they are douchebags.

    After he told me that I started paying more attention to the people at the gym. I did notice a couple of the gym regulars laughing and some looked like they were talking about the over/under-weight patrons. I think the vast majority of these guys are not making fun of anyone outside their circle of friends, but I can see why a self-conscious person would think so.

    Sorry for the long-rant, but I really hate seeing people feel intimidated even though they are trying to better themselves.
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    Jan 15, 2014 4:24 AM GMT
    This happens everywhere else in the world outside the gym as well.
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    Jan 15, 2014 4:50 AM GMT
    Did this happen at a gay gym? Those gurlz can be catty.
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    Jan 15, 2014 5:00 AM GMT
    foosballwizard saidFor the gym regulars out there, please be mindful of how you act at the gym. While bullying and making fun of people should never be tolerated, I think there are a lot of times of inadvertent mocking.

    I'm pretty relaxed at the gym and usually don't pay attention to people as I work out, but one of my friends brought an issue to my attention. My friend is over-weight and trying to improve himself by working out. Problem is he lacks confidence and is very intimidated at the gym. One thing that really affects him is being judged and being made fun of. He tells me that he hates going to the gym because a couple of the fitter guys at the gym will give him looks and appear to laugh at him. I've tried telling him that those guys are not laughing at him and probably don't even notice him. Even if they did, I told him to ignore them because they are douchebags.

    After he told me that I started paying more attention to the people at the gym. I did notice a couple of the gym regulars laughing and some looked like they were talking about the over/under-weight patrons. I think the vast majority of these guys are not making fun of anyone outside their circle of friends, but I can see why a self-conscious person would think so.

    Sorry for the long-rant, but I really hate seeing people feel intimidated even though they are trying to better themselves.


    While I agree with you, two probables don't make these people 'douchebags' or 'assholes'.

  • Jan 15, 2014 5:14 AM GMT
    That's why I titled the thread "accidental asshole." I just think guys should just be aware of how their interactions might look to an outsider.
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    Jan 15, 2014 5:26 AM GMT
    When I see someone overweight at the gym, I usually admire their taking the initiative to do something positive about their health. It could be that a lot of the pointing and laughing overweight people perceive is really just looks and smiles of encouragement. I think most fit people feel the way I do about this, although I'll acknowledge that there are some utter creeps at the gym, too.
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    Jan 15, 2014 5:41 AM GMT
    A lot of the time it's just their own paranoia.
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    Jan 15, 2014 6:19 AM GMT
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    Jan 15, 2014 6:28 AM GMT
    When I was overweight I felt like people would kind of make fun of me too. But through dedication and hard work ( all by myself ) I get different looks at the gym. Good looks. And when I see overweight people trying to improve themselves I feel good for them taking that step to a healthier life
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    Jan 15, 2014 8:18 AM GMT
    eagermuscle saidDid this happen at a gay gym? Those gurlz can be catty.


    Exactly, he probably just had poorly colour coordinated gym kit.

    What's all this advice about anyway? Next you'll be telling us we can't whip them with wet towels.
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    Jan 15, 2014 8:21 AM GMT
    Just tell him to ignore them.
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    Jan 16, 2014 9:51 PM GMT
    When I first started going to the gym in my early 20's, I was extremely self-conscious, to the point where I felt as if the other gym patrons were constantly judging / critiquing my physique and every movement with the weights. While there were a couple incidents that actually occurred, (at least that I am aware of), for the most part, I think it was in my head.

    With the passage of time, and having bulked up considerably from when I first stepped into the gym, my focus shifted more towards myself and my workout, and came to realize that a lot of my previous insecurities were self-perceived. Not to say attitude and prejudices don't exist in the gym (or other facets of life, for that matter), because they do. But for the most part, I think most guys at the gym just do their own thing and hopefully, pause to remember that we each had a starting point, of which time, dedication and effort was required to attain our fitness/wellness goals, whatever they may be.
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    Jan 16, 2014 9:54 PM GMT
    Just tell him stop being fat icon_neutral.gif
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    Jan 16, 2014 10:38 PM GMT
    Matiz saidThis happens everywhere else in the world outside the gym as well.



    It does indeed, and I've always found it vastly ironic that fat people get slagged for being fat, and then when some try to do about it, they get slagged.

    Hello?
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    Jan 16, 2014 10:39 PM GMT
    Jaggal said You obviously care about your friend's feelings, I don't find too much of that lately.


    I noticed that, too. Good on you, foosballwiz!
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    Jan 16, 2014 10:55 PM GMT
    I've been to a few gyms and never ever saw anyone get made fun of for being overweight. Everyone has respect for heavy guys trying to get into shape. Even if a big guy is doing a small amount of weight, we assume it's therapy.
    Poor form, on the other hand, always brings chuckles.

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    Jan 16, 2014 11:00 PM GMT
    Jaggal said
    meninlove said
    Jaggal said You obviously care about your friend's feelings, I don't find too much of that lately.


    I noticed that, too. Good on you, foosballwiz!


    Guys who care about others make me melt (Probably because I'm a 'take a bullet for you' hopeless romantic)


    Which is why, my friend, why guys like ChesterMinaj (I'll quote his post)won't find true romance, and you will. icon_wink.gif
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    Jan 16, 2014 11:01 PM GMT
    ChesterMinaj saidThere should be a fat people gym. I dont wanna see those spare tires while I am working on my bussy


    Thanks for being a perfect example of what I've been referring to. *feels pity*
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    Jan 17, 2014 4:55 AM GMT
    I'm lucky...that shit doesn't happen at my gym. And we have a lot of out of shape people - male and female. The ones who sometimes get a laugh or two are the ones who are doing some weird ass shit movements that isn't doing anything for their fitness.

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  • chadwick1985

    Posts: 391

    Jan 17, 2014 6:26 AM GMT
    Its funny when people look at me and chuckle. Doesn't really bother me. I'm not a big guy and with my metabolism I have a hard time gaining mass and size. Im toned, have gained some size but not much . I typically just some oust and do my thing. I don't really care what anyone else thinks.
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    Jan 17, 2014 4:39 PM GMT
    This guy cracks me up although I admit I've never seen anyone as bad as he describes.
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    Jan 17, 2014 4:40 PM GMT
    chadwick1985 saidIts funny when people look at me and chuckle. Doesn't really bother me. I'm not a big guy and with my metabolism I have a hard time gaining mass and size. Im toned, have gained some size but not much . I typically just some oust and do my thing. I don't really care what anyone else thinks.

    Laugh at you for *what*? There's no reason for that.
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    Jan 17, 2014 5:57 PM GMT
    ChesterMinaj saidThere should be a fat people gym. I dont wanna see those spare tires while I am working on my bussy



    Yeah mate , you summed it up , you are one of those assholes , the OP is talking about !!icon_sad.gificon_sad.gificon_sad.gificon_sad.gif
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    Jan 18, 2014 12:10 AM GMT
    Coincidentally, my friends and I were actually laughing at a guy today. He was skipping rope in the oddest way. He'd occassionally hold it in one hand and dance around while he twirled it. It looked like a drag queen act without the costume.