So he's hot but kinda crazy......what should I do?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 16, 2014 3:34 PM GMT
    I've been talking to this guy for a few weeks now. He's really nice. Similar interests. Owns his own house has a good job. No kids or any excess baggage.

    He's also smoking hot. Tight abs. Lean bod. He's a semipro bicyclist.

    And the dick is like a porn star dick. Fat and long and still huge when it's soft.

    However he has a phobia of stds. He told me after his first time giving a guy a bj he didn't have sex for 3 years because he was afraid he'd catch something.

    Last night and we went on a date and had some fun. I'm DDF and so is he. But he's at home freaking out now, he took the day off work to get his mind right.

    I like him. How do I help him move past this?
  • Bunjamon

    Posts: 3161

    Jan 16, 2014 3:43 PM GMT
    Take him for some sex ed. The risk of catching an STD is the price of admission to being a healthy, sexually functioning adult. If he crumbles into a heap of fear if he touches someone else's dick (and there are plenty of things that are transferred from skin to skin contact, he should learn what they are), he might need a little therapy and a dose of education. But just because he's super hot and has a porn star penis does not mean you should put up with an unnecessary amount of BS.
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    Jan 16, 2014 3:49 PM GMT
    Go to an STD clinic together as your next date (I'm not joking).
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Jan 16, 2014 3:49 PM GMT
    Bunjamon said...But just because he's super hot and has a porn star penis does not mean you should put up with an unnecessary amount of BS.

    Au contraire, If he's super hot and has a porn star dick, he's worth putting up with WAY more bullshit than necessary! icon_twisted.gif
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    Jan 16, 2014 5:19 PM GMT
    Getting tested together is your answer .
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    Jan 16, 2014 5:29 PM GMT
    STD check together like others have said. Then hold off of sex until he is ready.. in fact that sounds kind of backwards... Date more and wait for sex and Then get tested together. That doesn't mean force sex on him that night, it just means you are both getting ready for it, and be proud your not going with someone filthy
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    Jan 16, 2014 5:36 PM GMT
    If he was crazy, I'd say "run don't walk" ... but he's not.
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    Jan 16, 2014 5:47 PM GMT
    He's freaking out over nothing.probably a closet case . He should know about sti by now and you should Not have to be the one to baby a grown ass man all over him feeling guilty for partaking in homosexual activities. He probably will Not go to the Dr with you. Because of some stupid reason.. if your clean show him your paperwork but let him know you expect him to do the same..
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    Jan 17, 2014 3:19 PM GMT
    JohnSpotter saidIf he was crazy, I'd say "run don't walk" ... but he's not.


    I mean not having any sexual contact for 3 years after he sucked his first dick
    And taking a day off work yesterday because he was so freaked out is a little extreme. I think.
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    Jan 17, 2014 9:08 PM GMT
    Youngun said
    JohnSpotter saidIf he was crazy, I'd say "run don't walk" ... but he's not.


    I mean not having any sexual contact for 3 years after he sucked his first dick
    And taking a day off work yesterday because he was so freaked out is a little extreme. I think.


    As everyone else suggested, get tested together. Would he be willing to go through with that? If the answer is no, then he either needs help with his phobia or you need to move on.
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    Jan 17, 2014 9:21 PM GMT
    Sex. Meh. It isn't everything.
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    Jan 18, 2014 2:42 PM GMT
    neffa saidGetting tested together is your answer .


    I told him we can do that the next time we go out and he said that's fine but still freaking out over it. I think the problems are less physical and more mental with him. He has an abnormally high fear of stds/aids than I have seen in any other person.
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    Jan 18, 2014 2:45 PM GMT
    A picture of the dude naked would greatly help us in advising you. For scientific purposes. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jan 18, 2014 3:09 PM GMT
    Youngun said
    neffa saidGetting tested together is your answer .


    I told him we can do that the next time we go out and he said that's fine but still freaking out over it. I think the problems are less physical and more mental with him. He has an abnormally high fear of stds/aids than I have seen in any other person.


    Getting tested together isn't going to do much, unless you want to do it daily, because he's clearly OCD.
    You're going to have to be extra patient and understanding.
    This is real for him and without therapy, possibly medication he'll never get past it.
    Are you willing to sighn up for this and for how long?

    I've known men that have never had sex or one time in over twenty years, because of this fear.
    You see them on here--go bat shit at just the mention of promiscuity, or god-for-bid "bare back".
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    Jan 18, 2014 7:10 PM GMT
    dustin_K_tx said
    Youngun said
    neffa saidGetting tested together is your answer .


    I told him we can do that the next time we go out and he said that's fine but still freaking out over it. I think the problems are less physical and more mental with him. He has an abnormally high fear of stds/aids than I have seen in any other person.


    Getting tested together isn't going to do much, unless you want to do it daily, because he's clearly OCD.
    You're going to have to be extra patient and understanding.
    This is real for him and without therapy, possibly medication he'll never get past it.
    Are you willing to sighn up for this and for how long?

    I've known men that have never had sex or one time in over twenty years, because of this fear.
    You see them on here--go bat shit at just the mention of promiscuity, or god-for-bid "bare back".


    Yeah I'm not entirely sure if I can deal with that.
    I didn't know about his fears and anxiety before our date. And even during our date he seemed fine even as we got physical. The next morning he was telling me in detail the issues he had.
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    Jan 20, 2014 2:44 AM GMT
    Rita saidA picture of the dude naked would greatly help us in advising you. For scientific purposes. icon_biggrin.gif


    I don't even know how to post pics on here hahah
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    Jan 20, 2014 3:47 AM GMT
    Ohno saidGo to an STD clinic together as your next date (I'm not joking).


    This! makes perfect sense. And tell him to lighten up slightly.
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    Jan 20, 2014 3:57 AM GMT
    ReeBad19 saidSTD check together like others have said. Then hold off of sex until he is ready.. in fact that sounds kind of backwards... Date more and wait for sex and Then get tested together. That doesn't mean force sex on him that night, it just means you are both getting ready for it, and be proud your not going with someone filthy


    icon_idea.gificon_idea.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 20, 2014 4:24 AM GMT
    Bunjamon saidTake him for some sex ed. The risk of catching an STD is the price of admission to being a healthy, sexually functioning adult.
    That's pretty much a lie. Sorry to say. You can be a perfectly functioning adult without any sex whatsoever.
    Also, his fears are quite rational. I wouldn't pin him as crazy, just cautious, learning from his mistakes, etc.
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    Jan 20, 2014 4:27 AM GMT
    ikilledcaptainplanet saidwait, hold up. so you're calling a guy crazy for actually caring about his health? icon_eek.gif are you serious?
    My thoughts exactly. icon_confused.gif
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    Jan 20, 2014 4:28 AM GMT
    Ajjax said
    Bunjamon saidTake him for some sex ed. The risk of catching an STD is the price of admission to being a healthy, sexually functioning adult.
    That's pretty much a lie. Sorry to say. You can be a perfectly functioning adult without any sex whatsoever.
    Also, his fears are quite rational. I wouldn't pin him as crazy, just cautious, learning from his mistakes, etc.


    Every person I have ever met who doesn't get laid showed it very obviously.
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    Jan 20, 2014 4:34 AM GMT
    Freaking out and taking a day off of work because you engaged in some kind of sexual activity is not the same as being concerned about your health. It's called over-reacting.
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    Jan 20, 2014 4:40 AM GMT
    Better an over-reaction than no concern for health at all an STD isn't like getting a cold or a paper cut, it needs to be taken seriously. Sure, he's got some fears that he needs to work on, but those fears don't make him crazy and if you like him, you should keep seeing him. As already mentioned, go get tested together and once that happens, he should be more comfortable.
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    Jan 20, 2014 4:41 AM GMT
    Avsigkommen said
    Ajjax said
    Bunjamon saidTake him for some sex ed. The risk of catching an STD is the price of admission to being a healthy, sexually functioning adult.
    That's pretty much a lie. Sorry to say. You can be a perfectly functioning adult without any sex whatsoever.
    Also, his fears are quite rational. I wouldn't pin him as crazy, just cautious, learning from his mistakes, etc.


    Every person I have ever met who doesn't get laid showed it very obviously.
    I speak from experience, kind sir. icon_wink.gif
    Even if that were true, like someone else said, not everything is about sex. You will learn, young padawan.
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Jan 20, 2014 4:47 AM GMT
    I don't think testing is the answer.
    This guy is totally irrational about the transmission of sexually transmitted infections. And, I suspect he'll always be.