Keep'em or drop'em?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 17, 2014 12:53 AM GMT
    Just wondering...I'm currently attending university, doing a double honors, working a part time job that is around 30 hours a week. I'm seeing this guy who is older. 18 years older and who is a teacher. We get along great, we are just dating (I don't want a relationship or anything). But the thing is. I have no social life besides him and my roommate. I go to work, come home, go to class, go to work again, go home, go to the gym, go home and then go see him and spend the night at his place mostly. (beef, dairy, and pig farm job so I smell after work and have to shower each time).
    The thing is, I don't have time to do much else. On weekends I work the 8-10 hours a day bit. In a single week I'm putting about 500km on my car, costing major in the gas department. I always drive to his place, I don't seem to have time to shop, let alone go to the grocery store (which pisses him off cause I always eat supper there, which I understand). I have papers to write, readings to do (just yesterday and today I got assigned over 600 pages in 5 different classes that I have to know and be able to discuss by monday & tuesday).
    Anyways! I don't have the best self-esteem. He works out, I try to but I go at night after work and that takes away from time I spend with him so he doesn't like it. But he wants me to go to the gym to look "better". He doesn't sacrifice anything but I'm getting a tired of always running it seems. I know I'm not that busy, I'm just kinda being bitch, but I don't want to keep going like this. I also don't want to give him up or put him on the back burner but right now I'm on the back burner.

    I don't see myself with him forever but he's become my best friend over the past few months. Should I drop him and have literally no one cause I didn't have time to make other friends, in a french speaking province...where I don't know how to speak french. Alienated and busy.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 17, 2014 1:01 AM GMT
    Sounds like you got it pretty sweet and as long as the communication stays open I'd ride it as long as possible--dinners included?
    It's not going to last forever.
    I sometimes miss the time we had while we were both in school and working--think I saw him twice a week and we lived together.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 17, 2014 3:45 AM GMT


    " (I don't want a relationship or anything)"

    Yet you do. Look at back at your post. icon_wink.gif
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9225

    Jan 17, 2014 3:47 AM GMT
    You had time to find him.
    You'll have time to find someone who deserves you.
    End it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 17, 2014 4:51 AM GMT
    Drop it like it's hot. It's not going to end into anything serious anyway...and if all you want is sex, then find sex. Focus on your school, that's your main priority.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 17, 2014 4:55 AM GMT
    Yeah, I don't think he appreciates your relationship as much as you do.
    He's pissed that you're eating at his place and tells you you need to look better? And he's not making any efforts to meet YOUR needs (you always driving to his place and not the other way around, him making you feel guilty for studying etc)? That doesn't sound like a very healthy relationship. Tell him how you feel, and if he does not listen just dump him. It's not worth all the hassle imo.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 17, 2014 5:36 AM GMT
    I don't know. I've been debating it for a while. He's smart, we share the same interests, funny, down to earth, and it's hard to find that in guys around my age...well from the ones I've met anyways.
    Want to hang in there till summer but...worried about my grades and my finances, hahaa...Fuck.
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6082

    Jan 17, 2014 5:48 AM GMT
    Don't let anything interfere with your studies. That is *the* most important thing. Beyond that, I don't know. Obviously it isn't a perfect or ideal situation. But you know, in life, that's often the case. Sometimes we get lucky and come pretty close to 'perfection' in a given situation. But much more frequently it is some 'compromise', close but no cigar. It is what it is.

    So the question is, how to accept that and get what is good out of it and not get brought down by its imperfections?