Free or home-made gifts: acceptable or not?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 17, 2014 10:33 PM GMT
    I'm going to a female friend's third wedding. I was planning to give the couple a handmade collage incorporating photos of things that she likes: ice-cream, jewelry, shoes, meerkats, etc.

    Or I was going to give them a (used) set of DVDs: a documentary about meerkats.

    Are these gifts acceptable? Do they make me look like a cheapskate?

    Help me decide.
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    Jan 17, 2014 10:39 PM GMT
    Hand-crafted gifts can be quite nice...just not the ones you mentioned. Not sure if you were serious about giving them second-hand meerkat DVD's icon_neutral.gif If you're budget is nil just give them heartfelt written card.
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    Jan 17, 2014 10:40 PM GMT

    Give them both. One for fun (meerkats vids) and one for sheer emotional delight. I would put picks of them together (her and her fiancee) in the collage, or pics of just him, as he's obviously something she likes very much, enough to marry him, eh? icon_wink.gif

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    Jan 17, 2014 10:44 PM GMT
    Third Wedding???

    Think a slightly used Scensy warmer.
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    Jan 17, 2014 10:45 PM GMT
    The collage yes, used DVD, no.
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    Jan 17, 2014 10:45 PM GMT
    If you did the collage shouldn't it also include what the groom likes?

    The type of gift also depends on whether you gave gifts at her first two weddings, and if so what they were...

    ...when I got the invite for a cousin's third I was going to RSVP with an apology for missing this one and assure him I'd attend the fourth, but lost my nerve. Then when his perpetual best man responded to a Facebook compliment by the groom in the online wedding album by saying "Well, I've had plenty of practice," I regretted not doing it.
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    Jan 17, 2014 10:58 PM GMT

    I chose both, because of this very old saying.

    "Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue"

    So, if you want to go this route, ask her for a pic of her guy, which you can give back to her in the collage (something borrowed), and the collage itself is of course something new. As for something old and something blue, put the DVD in a blue paper wrapped box.

    In the card, write the poem above. It will be interesting to see how they figure it out. icon_wink.gif



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    Jan 18, 2014 3:25 AM GMT
    dustin_K_tx saidThird Wedding???

    Think a slightly used Scensy warmer.



    What he said! hahaa
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    Jan 18, 2014 3:27 AM GMT
    The answers to your questions are yes and yes.
  • mybud

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    Jan 18, 2014 4:19 AM GMT
    Homemade items made from the heart, Yes...Used DVD's,come on now.
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    Jan 18, 2014 4:20 AM GMT
    The collage is nice, but leave the used DVDs out, that's not a good gift idea.
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    Jan 18, 2014 5:00 AM GMT
    Just give her and the groom a gift card. That way they can buy whatever they want.
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    Jan 18, 2014 5:05 AM GMT
    Or just a nice hand-written card with a sentimental message on it. Something like "This one had better stick, you dysfunctional whore."
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    Jan 18, 2014 5:18 AM GMT
    Ummm hand made sounds ok for a relationship but not necessarily for friends..

    By giving her a collage of things she would Actually want.. it just sounds like your playing a joke on her, a mean sarcastic joke

    Also used CD's are also a No Go.. I'm guessing she Really Loves animals so it sounds like a good gift for the future... if it were a NEW CD but for a wedding try buying something they can Both like. A gift her and her husband can enjoy at least once like a gift card or a coupon book sounds great
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    Jan 18, 2014 5:23 AM GMT
    Matiz saidHand-crafted gifts can be quite nice...just not the ones you mentioned. Not sure if you were serious about giving them second-hand meerkat DVD's icon_neutral.gif If you're budget is nil just give them heartfelt written card.


    Oh yes! A well written, loving, card works well also!
  • metta

    Posts: 39144

    Jan 18, 2014 7:01 AM GMT
    omniwinery saidI'm going to a female friend's third wedding. I was planning to give the couple a handmade collage incorporating photos of things that she likes: ice-cream, jewelry, shoes, meerkats, etc.

    Or I was going to give them a (used) set of DVDs: a documentary about meerkats.

    Are these gifts acceptable? Do they make me look like a cheapskate?

    Help me decide.


    I don't think any of those are a good idea. I don't just think that it is just cheap, it does not sound like much thought went into it. If you are going to make something, make it a wedding related gift: Something for the both of them. Personalizing it would be good. Maybe something using both of their first names. Put more thought into it. That is what will make it more meaningful.

    If you are going to do a collage, make it of photos as them as a couple, not of just her. Possibly make a custom photo book.

    If I invited people to a wedding, I would invite them because I wanted them to be there, not because I wanted a gift. I would not find it strange to not be given a gift. But I would find it strange to be given a used DVD. I have no idea how much this couple will appreciate any of these ideas. You of course would know much more than we would.
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    Jan 18, 2014 1:59 PM GMT
    I agree with the majority, the collage is more heartfelt but giving a used DVD may come off as a little cheap.
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    Jan 18, 2014 5:28 PM GMT
    It is not the value or where you buy the gift that counts , she will fancy you nice gesture .
    If she thinks it is not good enough for her , she definitely is not a good friend !
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    Jan 19, 2014 12:12 AM GMT
    Homemade gifts are the best. One of my best friends made me a mixed tape and hand-drew the cover art for my birthday. It was so considerate!
  • Webster666

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    Jan 19, 2014 12:41 AM GMT
    The used DVDs ? No. If they were new, and you knew that she would like them, okay.
    The collage ? It would depend on the recipient. You know her. I don't.
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    Jan 19, 2014 12:50 AM GMT
    If you are going to give her the DVD's, go to Office Depot and buy some Blank DVD Booklets and make the cover art work from scratch. The DVD's will be a lot less second hand feeling that way.
    If you're GREAT with collage, then tie that and the DVD's concept together.
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    Jan 19, 2014 1:09 AM GMT
    You guys think this guy is legit?
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    Jan 19, 2014 1:51 AM GMT
    TheGuyNextDoor saidIf you are going to give her the DVD's, go to Office Depot and buy some Blank DVD Booklets and make the cover art work from scratch. The DVD's will be a lot less second hand feeling that way.
    If you're GREAT with collage, then tie that and the DVD's concept together.


    This is a great idea.
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    Jan 19, 2014 3:45 PM GMT
    dustin_K_tx saidThird Wedding???

    Think a slightly used Scensy warmer.


    Hey come one, it's their wedding after all. Throw in a bottle of wine too.