Confidance issues

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 20, 2014 1:51 PM GMT
    Hi guys,

    I have a friend who currently has confidance issues with the gym and I am asking you guys for some advice.

    He has been a member of a gym for 6-8 months now and sticks to a very fixed routine, for example; cardio machines, a few resistance machines (around 5, always the same every gym visit) and swim. He does not have any confidance in venturing into the free weights area.

    I have tried to give him some simple exercises involving dumbbells but he appears to be petrified in going anywhere near the free weights area, citing that he feels intimidated by the guys using the weights.

    I feel that my help is pretty much limited due to: Being a member of a different gym in a different town and the 12 mile distance between us and not being able to train with him each time.

    Currently, he weights around 155lbs and has a body fat % of around 23%.

    I have asked him to make three simple goals, which he has done and has given me.

    Generally, he has issues with confidance as a whole and his boyfriend isn't too supportive.

    What would you guys suggest? How can he (and I) build up that confidance?

    Thanks in advance!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 20, 2014 2:12 PM GMT
    That brings back memories.
    When I first joined the gym, it took me months to move into the free weight room. I don't really remember what intimidated me though. I'd say give him time.
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    Jan 20, 2014 5:14 PM GMT
    Try going when it's less busy and try some things out.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 20, 2014 6:09 PM GMT
    Challenge him to go to the weights room and ask someone how many sets they have left (then do a few light sets after them), or ask how to use a piece of equipment. That is his target for the first day. Then he will see how we are nicer than he expected.
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    Jan 20, 2014 6:38 PM GMT
    Ohno saidChallenge him to go to the weights room and ask someone how many sets they have left (then do a few light sets after them), or ask how to use a piece of equipment. That is his target for the first day. Then he will see how we are nicer than he expected.

    Also challenge his *not* to ask when the other guy is in the middle of his set, as so many newbies do. icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 20, 2014 7:14 PM GMT
    JohnSpotter said
    Ohno saidChallenge him to go to the weights room and ask someone how many sets they have left (then do a few light sets after them), or ask how to use a piece of equipment. That is his target for the first day. Then he will see how we are nicer than he expected.

    Also challenge his *not* to ask when the other guy is in the middle of his set, as so many newbies do. icon_wink.gif


    Ha I thought about editing my post to say that.

    Another thing is, if he is 23%bf his diet is probably not terrible, but not great. He might prefer to try harder with that instead.
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    Jan 20, 2014 7:20 PM GMT
    coming from someone who used to be terrified of doing free weights, my two cents would be, to just go for it. He may start off with doing low weights but free weights is where it's at to get big wholesome muscles. I never thought I would get strong enough to do some of the weights I do now, but it's all thanks to free weights. Plus everyone starts off somewhere, so I would advise not to feel embarrassed if you are doing low weights compared to everyone else.

    tell him good luck!
  • Paperless_Pen

    Posts: 573

    Jan 20, 2014 7:23 PM GMT
    *confidence
    I was looking at this thread and keep wondering what was wrong about it
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 20, 2014 7:26 PM GMT
    Instead of going to free weights which are usually pretty crowded, go to the squat rack and take the advice from kiwiLifter. It has come to my attention that the squat rack is usually less used and so that could be a good way to start.
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Jan 20, 2014 9:12 PM GMT
    You build confidence by doing something repeatedly.
    But, if you can't get him to do it even once...
    My thinking has always been that every one of those other guys had their first day at the gym, too. They didn't always look like that.
    Plus, I always worked out alone, concentrated on my workout, and tuned out all the other guys, as much as possible.

    Somebody above suggested going to the gym at a less busy time.
    That's a great idea, if possible.
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Jan 20, 2014 9:15 PM GMT
    Varus saidcoming from someone who used to be terrified of doing free weights, my two cents would be, to just go for it. He may start off with doing low weights but free weights is where it's at to get big wholesome muscles. I never thought I would get strong enough to do some of the weights I do now, but it's all thanks to free weights. Plus everyone starts off somewhere, so I would advise not to feel embarrassed if you are doing low weights compared to everyone else.

    tell him good luck!



    I agree, 100%.
    For years, I did most of my exercises with free weights, until the dumbbells got to be to big and heavy and hard to control.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jan 20, 2014 9:31 PM GMT
    Free weights are the way to go, and if you want to avoid going to the gym you can get started at home, with minimal space and investment needed, just a bar, some weights, a few dumbbells, mix in pushups and anything else that works for you. I think the gym equipment is helpful if you're looking to make body building a lifestyle, but if you're just trying to get sculpted then it's all about getting out of it what you put into it, and the location you choose to workout in is irrelevant.

    I think the gym can help people focus and stay motivated though, if they're having trouble with motivation at home... Some people need to have a paid membership to get their ass in gear.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 20, 2014 10:43 PM GMT
    "Some people need to have a paid membership to get their ass in gear."

    But some have paid memberships and don't go... waste of money.