Momule saidSo far, I agree with very little that has been said. Possibly somewhat with socalx10. This is not a black and white issue or after so many times........
You basically have 3 type of guys that respond, married, single and curious. There are many married guys (I am one of them) who definitely want to respond, and meet, but it takes a huge leap of faith to do so. Guilt is immense.
The single guys are probably the easiest but there are tons of those guys who can't make a decision.
Finally, the curious guy is out to experiment. Most of these are straight and first timers. Some of these guys will be very easy to persuade while others just cant hurdle the masculinity of their nature.
The key for you, is, how really interested are you in the person and how much patience are you willing to give. Because of who they appear to be, they may be a real prize worth waiting for. Eventually something will happen.
While I don't disagree that men who are on the sites fall into the married (or partnered), single or curious, I think the men fall into 4 different effective categories:
1. Serious about meeting someone for more than a hookup
2. Serious about hooking up
3. Possibly interested in hooking up
4. Not interested in anything but browsing and/or playing someone
1 is a killer if the guy is on Grindr, Scruff, Manhunt, those kinds of sites, because he effectively falls into category 4 by effect, MAYBE 3 if you're lucky - he really wants something different than the site's orientation, so it's a crap shoot
3 and 4, if you're on Grindr, Scruff, Manhunt or the like are potentially just wastes of time, and the direct approach is effective in either getting what you're looking for or moving on
2 also responds to the direct approach, so win there
So if it's a hookup, the hard direct approach WINS. If it's dating, then it's a different direct approach, the soft direct approach. Pushing the coffee or even being blunt about meeting to see if this is something "we both" want to pursue tells you if there's anywhere to go and likely outs those who are just number 4's above. And in the process of the soft direct approach, if you're interested in meeting NOT for sex and the guy pushes that, then you know he's a 2, not a 1, so again, you win because you MOVE ON.