Living together

  • jnick91776

    Posts: 30

    Jan 22, 2014 3:12 AM GMT
    How long should you be dating before moving in together?
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    Jan 22, 2014 3:13 AM GMT
    jnick91776 saidHow long should you be dating before moving in together?

    Fifty years. And then only if you're really sure.
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    Jan 22, 2014 3:15 AM GMT
    I did it right away (2 weeks) and we were together for 4 years. Moving together is something that comes naturally, you will realize when the time feels right.
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    Jan 22, 2014 3:17 AM GMT
    Jack moved in with me about 6 months after we met.
    Much prefer him here than living at separate residences.
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    Jan 22, 2014 5:37 AM GMT
    When you are comfortable believing it is going to last a while.
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    Jan 22, 2014 6:44 AM GMT
    Depends on the person and couple, I did it about 2 months into with my ex. It lasted about 2 years 10 months! Hm!!! Once you get comfortable with the person.
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    Jan 22, 2014 8:05 AM GMT
    I don't think there is a particular correct answer. It depends on the people involved. But one piece of advice I learned the hard way: the decision on if/when to move in together should never be based on economic considerations. Rather, it should be based on the dynamics of the relationship.
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    Jan 22, 2014 10:17 AM GMT
    totally depends on your situation. the BF moved in with me after 2 years (including a deployment). but we were living 90 miles apart from each other with two separate jobs and two separate lives, really.

  • mmmship

    Posts: 152

    Jan 22, 2014 1:26 PM GMT
    Immediately! Why waste any more time? And you will find out what you don't like about him right away. Two birds with a stone.
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    Jan 22, 2014 2:24 PM GMT
    My mother always said, you should date someone throughout all seasons...roughly a year..of course at the time she was talking about a girl for me....but we met in October and I moved five states to be with him. We have been together 5+ years! and living together 4. You will know if it's right!
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    Jan 22, 2014 2:29 PM GMT
    I agree with those saying there's no correct answer for everyone, only what's correct for both of YOU.

    With both my late and current husbands we joined households after approx. 6 months of steady dating. We'd also already been casually acquainted for a period of time before we started dating.

    But then in each case we were older men, which seemed to make the decision easier, our ages & experience perhaps reducing much of the understandable hesitation to enter into such an important commitment.
  • Phoebuz

    Posts: 23

    Jan 22, 2014 2:49 PM GMT
    In my opinion it depends on a lof of factors:

    1.- How YOU feel about it. If it feels rushed don't do it.

    2.- How well you know each other. Sometimes when you are dating you (and everyone else) tend to hide certain aspects of your personality which could be a deal breaker.

    3.- How patient and tolerant both of you are. You might date a someone for 2 years and not realize certain things which then come up as soon as you are sharing the same living space. For example, maybe the guy clips his nails on the couch and leave them there, or maybe he wakes up at 4am every morning to prepare a banana shake, etc. This brings me to the next point:

    4.- Both of you need to be willing to make it work and have a good system for working out differences before they escalate. It is easier to ignore things when they are not staring at you every day.

    In the end, you are the best judge. You can also try to see how it works out when you live together for a week or two and before permanently moving in.
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    Jan 22, 2014 4:21 PM GMT
    It's kinda easier to live together...but I like my freedom and independence to much to give in and move in with him. Been seeing each other for 5 months and have made more travel plans to go traveling in June...Would save money to move in together but...not ready. My own place is where I feel at home the most.
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    Jan 22, 2014 4:24 PM GMT
    My boyfriend wants me to live with him, but, I personally don't feel the time is right yet. I do hear when you live together things change, for better or worse. icon_eek.gificon_smile.gif

    But I think you will know when the time is right.
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    Jan 23, 2014 12:00 AM GMT
    My s.o. and I met in '08; started dating in '09; & moved in together in '10. Here we are going on four years.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    Jan 23, 2014 12:16 AM GMT
    Moving in together can put a strain on a relationship. You learn so much about the other guy and not all of it is pretty or to your taste. There are a lot of things to work out and compromise on which can be annoying if you're not used to roommates. If you value the relationship, don't do it until you're really ready to see if you can make it as a committed couple forever. Unless, of course, you just need a roommate but think through what will happen next if you don't stick it out as a couple. Who will move out? What will the rent split be? Utilities? Other expenses? Who goes to bed when and gets up when? If you're no longer dating, a lot of these things suddenly can get in the way of the relationship. Bathroom habits? lol It obviously can work but it fundamentally changes the relationship so be prepared for that! The good side of the coin is that if it does, you have a partner, not just a boyfriend.
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    Jan 23, 2014 1:23 AM GMT
    I say no less than a year or so. But, all relationships are different, so do what feels most comfortable.
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    Jan 23, 2014 3:14 PM GMT
    I would say a year but I am very conservative on these issues.Better safe than sorry lol Ry
  • Karl

    Posts: 5787

    Jan 23, 2014 3:48 PM GMT
    when you're a hundred percent sure you will never be kicked out of his house .
    hmm it's hard haha
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    Jan 23, 2014 3:51 PM GMT
    There's no rule or timeframe. It's different for every couple.

    With us it was about 3 weeks. For a couple of others we know it was 7 years.

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    Jan 23, 2014 4:00 PM GMT
    'Never' works for me.
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    Jan 23, 2014 6:11 PM GMT
    I encourage anyone that thinks they have found the one should try to live together if thats what you want. It can be rewarding and challenging.

    In my opinion, it is more revealing about YOU than the other person. It takes patience and work to have a healthy relationship.......But its WONDERFUL!
  • oh_noyeahhh

    Posts: 119

    Jan 23, 2014 10:45 PM GMT
    As long as u know him well
  • madsexy

    Posts: 4843

    Jan 23, 2014 10:53 PM GMT
    I agree with the guys who have said here that it totally depends on the two men, their relationship and comfort level. I know two multiple-decade couples who I know the details of their beginnings - one, the guys moved in together after 18 days, they're amazingly in love to this day; the other, they waited over 3 years before they moved in together, likewise happy today. There's clearly no set formula.
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Jan 23, 2014 10:53 PM GMT
    Spend a month or two, living with him, as a trial. If it works out well, then move in permanently. Wish I'd done that, myself. It would have saved me a lot of headaches.