Best of Craigslist......

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 15, 2008 6:13 PM GMT
    I was on craigslist and found this under "Best of Craigslist" I couldnt believe it!!!!





    I mean, come on!

    It was like 50 paces to the nearest restroom!

    I sat there in my car wondering what the hell you were up to - you spent at least 2 minutes scurrying around your parked car, looking to see if the coast was clear. I thought you were going to, like, break into someone else's car or something. Then I guessed you thought you were "safe" and hurried to the front of your car, near the third level stairwell, dropped your pants, squatted and WENT TO IT!

    For Christ's sake, woman! All the time you spent looking out for passing cars so no one would see you crapping like a dog in public, you could have hustled your lazy ass downstairs and into the building and USED THE DAMNED RESTROOM!

    Sheesh!

    Anyway - if you're free later, drop me a line. I was never more turned on in my life.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 15, 2008 6:44 PM GMT
    That Britney Spears, such a character...
  • Rookz

    Posts: 947

    Dec 15, 2008 7:33 PM GMT
    This one is my favorite:

    Please Hear My Prayer

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    Date: 2006-11-09, 2:59PM CST



    Dear Jesus,

    I want to believe in you and your miraculous powers, I really do. I was raised in a devout Catholic home, and as long as I remember have been hearing about your divine nature and limitless compassion. You turned water into wine, healed lepers, and even raised the dead. I know you have boundless abilities. I also know that your compassion compels you to assist those who suffer, and to hear their agonized prayers.

    I have been ceaselessly praying to you for over three years now Jesus, yet still my prayer remains unanswered. Please tell me: Why won’t you run over my co-worker Renee with an 18 ton cement truck? Every day is another eternity of listening to Renee talk about her mildly retarded, morbidly obese child and her husband’s swollen testicles and ass-boils. I am suffering beyond the point of endurance my Lord. Please make manifest your divine Love and Grace by sending a cement truck of mercy to squash Renee flat in all your love and wisdom.

    Thank you in advance -
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 15, 2008 7:38 PM GMT
    OMG Honor that is hilarious!!! ROLFLMAO!!!!

  • Rookz

    Posts: 947

    Dec 15, 2008 7:43 PM GMT
    And thanks to this prayer, I can ask God and the Heaven's above for anything, with careful wording and with a bit of good intention of course. icon_smile.gif
  • NickoftheNort...

    Posts: 1416

    Dec 15, 2008 7:51 PM GMT
    One that's relevant to this site:

    "Originally Posted: Wed, 5 Nov 18:36 PST

    Lost: My Right To Marry

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Date: 2008-11-05, 6:36PM PST

    I went to bed early last night and when I woke up, I discovered I'd lost my right to marry. It's pretty easy to recognize--four California Supreme Court justices spotted it several months back, although it took them a long damn time to finally find it. It's in like-new condition--I personally haven't had a chance to use it yet, and was really looking forward to the opportunity. A couple of my friends and family still have theirs, and even enjoy it so much they've used it several times. If you can find it for me, I'd really appreciate getting it back. I'm not sure, but I think the shady gang of thugs who stole it were heading for Utah or maybe Fresno, so please keep an eye out. Thanks.

    it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
    PostingID: 907556239
    "
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 15, 2008 9:48 PM GMT
    BodyWork4 saidThat Britney Spears, such a character...


    ROFL that is so not right.
  • NickoftheNort...

    Posts: 1416

    Dec 16, 2008 12:44 AM GMT
    This also seems appropriate:


    Gay music and video from NewNowNext.com
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 16, 2008 2:48 AM GMT
    withHonor saidThis one is my favorite:

    Please Hear My Prayer

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Date: 2006-11-09, 2:59PM CST



    Dear Jesus,

    I want to believe in you and your miraculous powers, I really do. I was raised in a devout Catholic home, and as long as I remember have been hearing about your divine nature and limitless compassion. You turned water into wine, healed lepers, and even raised the dead. I know you have boundless abilities. I also know that your compassion compels you to assist those who suffer, and to hear their agonized prayers.

    I have been ceaselessly praying to you for over three years now Jesus, yet still my prayer remains unanswered. Please tell me: Why won’t you run over my co-worker Renee with an 18 ton cement truck? Every day is another eternity of listening to Renee talk about her mildly retarded, morbidly obese child and her husband’s swollen testicles and ass-boils. I am suffering beyond the point of endurance my Lord. Please make manifest your divine Love and Grace by sending a cement truck of mercy to squash Renee flat in all your love and wisdom.

    Thank you in advance -


    icon_lol.gifOh geez, my chest hurts I laughed so hard!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 16, 2008 3:08 AM GMT
    my fav. of all time

    who put the dead bird in my mailbox? - w4m

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    Date: 2008-04-20, 12:56PM EDT



    a) how did you get into my mailbox in the first place, it is locked
    b) did you kill the bird
    c) it died horribly, that much was clear
    d) you're psycho
    e) do I know you
    f) if I do know you I don't want to know you
    g) if I don't know you, what did I do to inspire you to put a dead bird in my mailbox
    h) I don't know how to disinfect a mailbox from a dead bird, I'm worried about diseases and have used five different kinds of cleaner but still feel like the bird's still in there still and like my bills and my catalogues and my coupons have dead bird on them
    i) it was a hummingbird, I looked it up - they don't even live in New York - this is so f*ing psycho, I can't believe this
    j) are you the mailman?
    k) I'm always nice to the mailman
    l) the super didn't care when I told him what happened
    m) the neighbors didn't care either
    n) do you have some kind of problem with birds
    o) don't put anything else in my mailbox
    p) unless it's an apology
    q) no, I take that back, I don't even want an apology
    r) what am I supposed to do with this bird - it's in bubblewrap in a bag in a shoebox in the freezer right now - am I supposed to bury it - where? how? in a construction site where they've jackhammered through the concrete - where is a person supposed to bury things in this city?
    s) I could drop it in the Gowanus canal, but that seems undignified
    t) I could drop it in the ocean, but the ocean is so big and it is such a small bird
    u) I could drop it in the toilet but it would probably get stuck
    v) I hear this whirring around my ears every time I go to the mailbox and I'm pretty sure it's ghost bird, and I'm all "it wasn't me that killed you, bird!" but still the whirring doesn't go away until I get to the stairwell
    w) am I supposed to eat it - maybe you were trying to feed me - don't you know I'm a vegetarian
    x) if this was Ricky, I'm gonna beat your ass, mama told you stop bothering the zoo
    y) if this was Gina, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, how many times I gotta say I'm sorry
    z) I could drop it off the roof, maybe it will reincarnate while falling and I can start reading my mail again
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 16, 2008 3:11 AM GMT
    I think it's Gina.

    OMG ROFL. That prayer to Jesus was hilarious too.
    More please!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 16, 2008 7:24 AM GMT
    Too much hilariousness.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 13, 2010 6:45 AM GMT
    DAD'S hard cock is all yours SON......horny & need you to suck it son - 36 (west hollywood)

    i love u son....and i need a favor boy...
    My cock is so hard son....and i know you wanna pull dad's cock out, sniff it, lick it, and suck it off
    it's all yours SON...
    Want to lay back, flop my rock hard cock out, and watch you suck....7 inches 4 ur hungry mouth son!
    tell dad you love him and ull be a VERY good boy (and u might even get to ride dad's cock)
    be cute and close to west hollywood son cause i need it sucked asap

    my place.
    36, white 5'11, nice bod, hairy chest, very sexy/goodlookin with a 7 incher for his boy!

    get back son....!


    I loled.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 13, 2010 12:30 PM GMT
    So, I've been spending a lot of time at the hospital lately due to family illness....anyway, I saw this HOT man there one evening and he held the elevator door while I wheeled my Mother back to her room.

    So I go to Sam's Club for her yesterday. Guess who I saw there?


    Yep. Him.


    He was obviously there after work as he was dressed very nice. He didn't see me, but I sort of followed him. He heads to the Pharmacy area where he gets a huge pack of Huggies! Dammit, he's got a kid.


    Do you think this Craigs List Missed Connection would work:



    "I saw you at Sam's Club after we met at the hospital where you held the elevator door for me.
    At Sam's you were buying Huggies while I was there getting Depends for my Mother. Coincidence? Or Fate?...."
    icon_confused.gif

    Hm. Seeing it in print...I guess not.icon_biggrin.gificon_cool.gificon_lol.gif
  • metta

    Posts: 39143

    Jul 04, 2014 5:26 PM GMT
    Roommate needed in Miami

    http://miami.craigslist.org/mdc/roo/4543458065.html
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 04, 2014 5:32 PM GMT
    metta8 saidRoommate needed in Miami

    http://miami.craigslist.org/mdc/roo/4543458065.html


    *wide open anus pic*

    $500/mo.? Hell yeah!