Addicted to love?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 16, 2008 10:49 AM GMT
    I keep reading posts and hearing people talking about love during the holidays. Is it possible that humans can be addicted to love? No, I'm not talking about sex.

    Straight people constantly marry, divorce, then try to remarry which usually ends in another divorce. All in the hopes of finding love. Most people go through vicious cycles looking for love in all the wrong places. Only to be disappointed, then only to try again. Why is it that people keep pursuing love? Is it that they want to be loved? Or that they want to give love?

    Is love like a drug or aphrodesiac? Something that can cause harm to oneself and others? And yet be a high when you have it. There are probably more cases of people killing themselves or others in the name of love every year, than from Ecstacy. And yet E is outlawed. Could love not be outlawed going by the dangers it can invoke?

    Love can also be used as a weapon. From our straight brethren we see people use love as a tool to make others suffer. Physically, emotionally, and financially. People become infected with disease under false pretense of love, and lapse of judgement.

    But love is natural, as seen even in the animal kingdom. Creatures that live off instinct alone show traces of love. So it's not an external influence, it's a part of nature.

    Personally, I believe in true love. Even in the gay community. It is very rare, as some have posted. And actively looking for it for the most part, will usually end in disappointment, as seen with straight people. It hits when you least expect it, like the proverbial cupid's arrow. But are we addicted to it? When it's gone, we crave it again, the high, the happiness. Yet others will see these hopeless romantics as weak-minded and desperate. Then again, they've probly never experienced true love before, with a guy or girl, or subsequent heartbreaks.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 17, 2008 2:36 AM GMT
    underwhere saidIs love like a drug or aphrodesiac? Something that can cause harm to oneself and others? And yet be a high when you have it. There are probably more cases of people killing themselves or others in the name of love every year, than from Ecstacy. And yet E is outlawed. Could love not be outlawed going by the dangers it can invoke?


    That is not love dear.. love does not make you kill someone, love does not make you kill your self.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 17, 2008 4:08 AM GMT
    we educated few have the luxery of commanding our own lives, knowing life can still go on after heartbreak. still, there are people out there who, without their loved ones, have nothing. van gogh didnt kill himself, but he mangled his ear. phil hartman, chris benoit, amy fisher/buttafuco, bobbitts. maybe they weren't primarily due to love, but im sure it played some part in the violence.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 17, 2008 6:50 AM GMT
    I believe it is important not to confuse love with infatuation (the initial heady rush of endorphins) or any of the other false prophets which disguise themselves as love.......dependency, need for control, fear, faulty attachment, narcissism etc. This is what leads to war and misery.

    I really like the notion that loving (the verb) is a conscious act - something we express in our actions towards another. This is different to the usual understanding which is that love is just something that happens to us, a magical influence that we passively imbibe. That is more likely infatuation which always passes and is probably an evolutionary device to encourage mating.

    Real love is often more mundane and everyday, not hollywod glitz or rainbows and starbursts. It's remembering to call when you said you would, letting him move his hideous armchair into your minimalist apartment because he likes it, comforting him when he;s down and encouraging him when he needs it, never letting another person run him down in your presence. And patience, compromise, communication, honesty and loyalty.

    Begin drums: "I wanna know what love is......"
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 17, 2008 6:59 AM GMT
    i think people can be addicted to the euphoria which presents itself during those ties in which you "feel" love. I'm a victim of that...well, until a few months ago. i just gave up on it altogether...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 17, 2008 7:05 AM GMT
    ".. I want you to show me."

    But yea, I'm a believer that it can be addicting. And keeping that love takes work. I just wonder about all these people who say they're not looking for it. As if they quit it cold turkey like an addiction.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 17, 2008 11:13 PM GMT
    so, was thinking about this on the way home from the gym..

    can you really get addicted to love?

    People need love, we need to love and we need to feel loved, much like needing to eat food, its not a choice, its an innate need, as it is to breath, to sleep.. that to me says its not something you can get addicted too.

    The feeling of lust, of excitement, of euphoria when meeting a new guy can be an addictive thing, that rush you get can be extremely powerful, but its always short lived, its losses its strength and perhaps thats why lots of people jump from relationship to relationship, always looking for that constant rush.

    to kll your self or them, thats not from love, thats from something far less pure, its hate, desperation, control, anger, you don't hurt those you love..
    you may unintentionally neglect them in the rush of life, you may occasionally step on there feelings unintentionally you may do many things, but the love ensures you don't do it often, love ensures you care, you protect and you give... and their love for you does the same..

    so.. in the end I came to the conclusion that really, no, you aren't addicted to love, but you could be addicted to that rush of euphoria you get when you met a guy you like and he likes you back... that euphoria can be incredibly addictive..
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 17, 2008 11:26 PM GMT
    well thanks for the awesome responses and perspectives. there really is no point to this thread, it was just something that had me thinking at the time. no wrong or right answers. but next time you see donald trump or your uncle get married for the 5th time, no theyre not desperate. theyre just adddicted to love.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 17, 2008 11:30 PM GMT
    simply put, i think we are addicted to love. that is why even though at times it causes us pain, pain we think we will never get over, pain that causes some to commit suicide, seek therapy, go into depression, the next time the chance appears we jump on it, we are addicted. humans are meant to love and receive love.